My Creative Journey 15 PT 2 + Watch Me Paint! Ep. 08

Every journey begins with a step...and continues with countless more. There is no end to the creative path. Only progress. To get better you have to do. Your skills, your mind, your art will not get better unless you try. And trying means you will fail a lot. But, if you keep at it, eventually you will triumph, break through, and be where you want to be. Here is another step on my journey.

Wow yesterday was a crazy awesome day. If you have, take a minute to read my post about the first part of my Sunday, My Creative Journey 15 Part 1 :). Looks like I'm getting back to some of my photo shenanigans :) Never really expected to go back, since I got started with painting, but in many ways I'm really glad I did. I don't see myself jumping back into that industry, unless there's money coming my way, but, it's still nice to prove to myself that I still got it. And, by the time I finally crashed around midnight, I was beyond exhausted.

From a 5 hour intense photoshoot to a series of paintings, hehe.

Originally I wasn't going to do any painting yesterday. I mean, after all the energy I knew I was going to pour out with a group of people running around a neighborhood in the sun I was pretty sure I was going to be too tired to really give the paint energy...I was wrong. I changed my mind about the painting at a really weird time...on the way back from getting dinner at the grocery store.

I was walking along, whistling to myself, enjoying an LA sunset in Boyle Heights, listening to the Mariachi music blaring from various stereos around the neighborhood when I remembered a part of yesterday's blog. It went along the lines of...what would it be like if I tried to do art when happy? I mean, a lot of the stuff I do is during times where I'm suffering. Depression doesn't give me many breaks, and the happiness I feel when painting, or most of the time, is of a different flavor than that deep soul comforting sort.

I hear often that artists are scared that because they get success, or finally get a control on their depression, that they won't be able to create anymore.

That they'll lose, 'it.' Which I think is ridiculous. Flavors just change, people just evolve. And that was something I wanted to test because what I was feeling was that deep soul moving sort of goodness. A job well done, a potential future in the making (might be getting a part time job finally!), amongst several other complex reasons that would take too many words to go into. Basically I was legit happy.

So, I decided to paint. ...and I also wanted to paint. It's addicting :). Though, not sure if I'll be able to paint today because I'm out and can't afford any more, hehe.

But, to the art!

Huh...looks like I can still create even though I'm happy. Still looks like my work. Still looks pretty good :) Though, on a personal note, I think I need to evolve my style soon. Things are getting a bit repetitive and I want to avoid getting lazy. You, rather, I, always need to be searching for the next thing. And I think I may have found it but...need money, and a good amount, for the medium I have in mind...so, have to put it off for now.

The shading, lines, expression, how confident I feel when painting

...all are getting stronger. I think there's getting to be a good sense of depth in the work. Highlights to shadows, it's almost there. But, I think it's time to work on mouths, learn how to do something other than a grimace, grin, or toothy smile. It's the lazy-mans way of doing things after a certain point. Expressions like that need to be for a reason, not for a standard.

But, I wanted to do a big, bold face, and that's what I did :)

With this one I decided to go off my normal track and try something new.

This one I created from a sketch I did of a Samurai mask. It's definitely rough, and I'm really not satisfied with the way I did the perspective, but, as I always say, building blocks in the foundation. For my first attempt, I'm pretty satisfied. The important part was that I tried something new.

I've found that painting specific things I get from images is rather difficult. I try and follow their lines to make it look like I see it and...well, it seems like the energy drops out of my work. This still has some of my verve because at a certain point I said, 'fuck it,' because I realized where things were going and didn't want that. I mean, I could paint it a lot closer to the original, but...where's the life in that? I know I talk about imitation until you are able to create but I'm not sure if that feels quite right when painting. Or it might be that I'm broke and want to make every single painting I do count so I'm not willing to go through ream after ream of paper and paint like I did when I was sketching, hehe. I think that might be closer to the point. Or maybe I feel that when painting that each thing I do should be unique and that I shouldn't do the same thing over and over...looks at pile of paintings where at least half a dozen are super similar...huh, contradictions. I could spend time trying to figure them out...or just keep moving forward, hehe.

If you want to see me paint this, guess what, it's time for Ep. 08 of Watch me Paint! :)

And to my final painting for the evening :)

I decided to go back to finger painting for this one since I was about out of paint and had to make the most of what I had. I was also in the mood to get a bit dirty and feel the paint with my hands so I figured, why not?

As with a lot of my improv paintings, this one switched up a bit from my original idea.

I started with the chin for some strange reason on this. And in the process a head became a helmet...and what I wanted to be sci-fi turned into dystopian future... I think it might be that desire to say something that's on my mind peeking out again, hehe. This time, of a more political nature.

The imagery itself isn't that clear, I know. And some of you might be scratching your heads like, 'what do you mean dystopian future? I see unicorns and teddy bears.' But, if you look close enough...guns, tanks, bullets, police, and a very vague message that you can interpret for yourself.

Faceless police of the future lugging big guns and backed by tanks...scary, but not unrealistic anymore looking at the way our government is allowing them to gear up.

Yes, we need to keep our police safe as they work, but when they become militarized and gain undue confidence because of their gear and are told to act against the populace that they were/are meant to protect...just look at the protests happening around the US. What kind of gear the cops are wearing, how they act towards the crowds, all the violence they're provoking, and definitely not enough training...it's a powder keg waiting to blow. Top-down...that's how an organization works works. Everyone takes their lead from the leader. And we have a truly shitty leader so...

And, yes, I painted that when happy, hehe. They're not my favorite paintings, but compared to my first ones, much better and good blocks for my foundation. Not necessarily a disproof of a depressed artists fears, but definitely a telling sign. An artist is an artist. Moods might affect things, but who you are doesn't change. The subjects you want to talk about might change. But, that doesn't affect the ability to create. Everything is an evolution, a change in state, and you need to be comfortable with that. After all, lack of movement, being static, is death. To say you don't want to be happy, to grow, to change, who would ever want that? Just based off an illusory idea that if you change you won't be able to do something anymore...?

I, for one, would gladly take a change in state. From depressed, to not depressed. I know it will change my art, but, shit, it's worth it.

Thanks for stopping by today and reading/watching/looking at my work. As always, I'd love to hear what you think. Is it crap, is it interesting? Would you buy any of it? ;) Would you donate money to keep it going? My skin is rock hard and thick as the earths mantle, so feel free to fire with both barrels...for better or worse :)

Wessel

Previous posts:
My Creative Journey 13 + Watch Me Paint! Ep. 06
My Creative Journey 12 + Watch Me Paint! Ep. 05
My Creative Journey 11 + Watch Me Paint! Ep. 04
My Creative Journey 10 + Watch Me Paint! Ep. 03
My creative journey 9
My creative journey 8
My creative journey 7
My creative journey 6
My creative journey 5
My creative journey 4
My creative journey 3
My creative journey 2
My creative journey 1

See available original drawings for sale

Currently $20 ea + $5s/h
37 new drawings up. 4 sold

DONATE :)