My Creative Journey 12 + Watch Me Paint! Ep. 05

Every journey begins with a step...and continues with countless more. There is no end to the creative path. Only progress. To get better you have to do. Your skills, your mind, your art will not get better unless you try. And trying means you will fail a lot. But, if you keep at it, eventually you will triumph, break through, and be where you want to be. Here is another step on my journey.

Another day, another bunch of art :) Or, at least the precursors to art. I've been doing a lot of sketching lately. Trying to figure out faces and details better. It's so important, I think, to understand how everything fits together. You need to know how things work before making them your own. As I always say, imitate, imitate, imitate, until you suddenly start creating. Like riding a bike. Or, maybe that's just how my journey is going. I'm still new to all this. I have asked myself, do I just try and create? Am I limiting myself with this philosophy? Is this how I screwed up my work with photography? I mean, the more I trust myself in what I want to create, the cooler things end up...but in many ways I think that's based upon all the basic work I did before...hehe. I guess that's why they call this a journey :)

This was all my warm up for the evening.

Or at least the beginnings to my 'study' for the evening. I'd had a really good conversation with my parents earlier. The words they'd said to me so encouraging. My parents have always been behind me, helping, pushing me forward, but the praise they put on me for this art stuff, I've never heard such energy and excitement in their voices. They loved my photography, they gritted their teeth when I managed a nightlife magazine, they wished I was closer to home when I was living in Japan...but, this, this surprised them in a really good way. The key, though, is making money from it, lol. After all, gotta make a living.

I could tell I was still pretty exhausted from the day before. The fringes of a cold killing my concentrating. The first one, I really loved, second and third pages kind of made me roll my eyes. But, I knew what had happened, how I had screwed up. Not all my fault...well, it is because I forced myself, but, you gotta break through walls. I mean, if I had a client who needed a piece done, and done soon, and I didn't feel well, would I just tell them to wait? Strength and creativity, hehe.

I need to preface today's paintings with...

Each of them has an aspect that shows growth. How good or bad they are, I have no idea. I like the concept of them...execution...well, can't hate yourself too much when it's only been 5 days. I think this path might be coming to an end soon...in the way that my gut is telling me to fuck with another kind of art for a minute to allow this energy to restore itself. I need to improve my technique, but in this case it might not be bashing my head against this wall. Rather, flowing in a different direction.

Once again, I could tell I was tired. Like a faucet only half turned to hot, moving the brush required a lot of effort. This painting I screwed up not once, but twice, hehe. These are all pretty much improv paintings. Working from what's inside my head or just from putting paint on the canvas in ways that feel 'right.' What killed this one in many ways was that I neither came at it from the logical point, nor the heart point, so.... Feel free to laugh at the failure :) I do. However, I do like how the mouth came out. I've started to incorporate more details. Little strokes that are probably a carry-over from all the sketching I do. Which is cool to see happening, in a way. It detracts a bit from the strong brush strokes, but, as styles do, they evolve until, well, they should never stop evolving. There might come a day where I don't paint like this at all anymore...which is fine because that's how it goes.

It seems grimacing Buddha's were on the menu for the evening, hehe. As I was putting down the initial strokes suddenly the energy behind this painting came to life. I had a blast creating it. If you had been in the room you would have gotten a really good laugh from the funny dances I was doing to the music in my headphones. I so can't wait until I have an actual studio. Hopefully that won't be too far in the future. If I don't get a case of the 'yips' and start freaking out and can't create anymore, lol. I suppose if that happens, I'm just gonna paint/draw/whatever until I break through the wall. If I could recover a really shitty painting, not once, but twice, to form it into something at least halfway decent...I'm not gonna give up no matter what. I'm talking about the previous painting. This one came off almost as smooth as butter out of a microwave.

With this one I decided to try something new. I put down some pencil lines to guide me as I laid down paint. I used my memory of a sketch I've been practicing lately. A man screaming into a camera lens. Lots of work to do on this kind of painting. In some ways I like it. There's a progress in expression and line, and, if I had properly proportioned it for the paper, I think it could have turned into a really cool piece. Similar to paintings I'd done before. But, in terms of originality and if I would ever look at it again...probably not. Too simple, no focus, nothing interesting. That's the point of these paintings, right? To look interesting, grab attention, stir something inside a persons head/heart.

Heh, just remembered that. Paintings are meant to impress and stir...don't know how I forgot that. Likely just pushing myself so hard, lol. My mind must be getting too focused on the practice idea vs the execution...so, looks like I'l need to work on that for tonight.

Annnnnnddd..... another episode of Watch me Paint! :)

Watch me Paint! Ep.05

Music: Filmy Ghost & JackCote

Ugh, another frustrating painting. It was definitely a night where I should have chilled a bit more. But, me being me, that's not possible. Push, push, push. I had to rescue this one a bunch...I mean, it was the first time I almost gave up on a painting. I've never done that before and at a couple points my hand was poised to rip it off the backboards. I was frustrated, but, never give up, every mistake can be a lesson. It was at this point I realized that a lot of the techniques and mindsets I'd been building up had fallen away somehow. Perspective, lines, even purpose... I was going to do another painting, to redeem myself, but, I decided not to. Why? I was too tired and I knew it. There are certain points where you shouldn't push, and I knew I was at a physical limit. Even on this painting I think you can find something cool to look at, right?

You thought I was done for the evening, didn't you? Lol. I still needed to wind down for the night and that whole perspective thing was getting on my nerves so I picked up my sketchbook. Out came the stuff that professional artists usually keep to themselves :) But, I think I've committed to myself, at least, to show all of what goes on. I'm just tired of hearing about other people giving up because they couldn't be as good as other artists because all they see is this lovely polished product that the artist chooses to show. Sure, that's great for a portfolio, but when it comes to blogging and trying to inspire others to do art, that's the worst idea ever.

You want to be an artist, you can.

It's a long, hard, and frustrating path, but, you can do it. We all fuck up. And we fuck up a lot. We have so many phases, and the connections in our brains and how we do our work can change in an instant. We can go from shit to diamonds, and back to shit again from piece to piece to piece. The key is to just be comfortable with that. Journey, remember, not destination :)

Hope y'all enjoyed yesterday journey! As always, love to hear what you think. And, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. No question is stupid. Trust me, some of the best questions have been prefaced with, 'I know this sounds stupid, but...'

Wessel

Previous posts:
My Creative Journey 11 + Watch Me Paint! Ep. 04
My Creative Journey 10 + Watch Me Paint! Ep. 03
My creative journey 9
My creative journey 8
My creative journey 7
My creative journey 6
My creative journey 5
My creative journey 4
My creative journey 3
My creative journey 2
My creative journey 1

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