Mini Motivation #63 - This is for the times things happen without a proper reason

When I was asked for a divorce many years ago, I wasn't given a reason. That was hard on me because without reason, I won't be able to solve the problem, and to fix the relationship.

It was also ironic because while clients would pay me to fix problems, for once, I couldn't fix mine.

For a few months since the request, I was in a limbo. Though I gave in without getting a reason, I kept asking myself over and over again, trying to pin point why the whole thing ever happened.

Was I working too hard and ignoring the family? Was I not providing enough? Did I even do anything so wrong that I deserve this?

First came the blames, outwards then inwards. Then there was anger, grudges, feelings of unfairness. Those emotions did not help in easing the pain or the anxiety, and the fact that I couldn't identified the reason still, caused me to not be able to forgive.

The hard thing was, in the process of searching for the answer, I was being self-destructive. I took on many bad habits, mostly spending related, thinking that buying and paying for things would in one way give me some resolution. I would pay just to get even hints, sometimes from sources mystical, because I just couldn't bare not knowing the reason.

It took a few months before a good friend and coach, Dave, to ask me this,

"Hey Mav, I know you're suffering because you couldn't find the reason on why you were asked for a divorce. Let me ask you this - have you ever done something without proper reason?"

I was quiet for a while as I reflected on the question. Frankly, it wasn't hard for me to search my memory banks for those incidents.

I scoffed at some of those memories, and nodded.

"So Mav, in those cases, you did things without reason, and you forgave yourself. Why not just accept that she did that without a proper reason, and just forgive her for it?"

For the first time on three month, it hit me - I don't really need to know an explanation, nor should I get one. Perhaps there wasn't one in the first place, which was why I couldn't identify one. And it's just how magical one simple realisation, from one simple question, could helped me moved on from the slump. I am eternally grateful for Dave to help me with that.

One of the most important lesson I learned that day, and perhaps one of the most simple too, is that sometimes, things happen without a reasons, and it's okay. If much thought had been put into it and still no progress was made, then perhaps the answers we seek were just out of our grasp at that moment. It may come, it may never.

So even in the pursuit of uncovering reasons, we need to know when to let go, and let the answers come to us instead.

p.s. It has been close to 6 years now that I never revisited the reasons, and had been okay ever since. And I couldn't be happier. Frankly, even if she told me the reasons today, I wouldn't be bothered anymore, because I had moved on, and my life is way better now. It is truly a blessing in disguise.

Mini Motivation is my own daily strategy to inspire myself. Mostly 3 minute reads.

From Motivation, we gain Inspiration. From Inspiration, we achieve Momentum. And the rest, they say, is history.

Hope it helps nudge you a bit too in the right direction.

Oh it did? Let me know in the comments, and of course an upvote would be a nice motivation for me. :)

Stay awesome!

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Hi there! Thanks for stopping by. I mostly blog about Steemit Success Strategies, business, marketing, entrepreneurship, psychology, community and random thoughts.

Talking about Steemit Success Strategies, if you want to 10x your results on this platform, perhaps some of these guides will be able to help you.

1. How to generate at least 365 post ideas for your Steemit Life (and possibly never run out of ideas again!)
2. 29 Steemit Post Types to Attract More Followers & Boost Your Popularity (Part 1)
3. 29 Steemit Post Types to Attract More Followers & Boost Your Popularity (Part 2)
4. Copywriting Magic for Steemit: "How To" Post Titles
5. Copywriting Magic for Steemit: "List Type" Post Titles
6. Steemit Success Strategies #1 - The Law of Requisite Variety
7. Steemit Success Strategies #2 - Batching + Parkinson's Law
8. How to apply the 80/20 rule to your Steemit Life
9. Steemit Experiment Report: 21 days, 21 minutes, 21 posts later, PLUS an 8-Step Guide on How to Write a Steemit Post every day under 30 minutes
10. Case Study on Bid Botting - A Steemit Bootcamp follow-up module, a cheatsheet and why I probably won't use it

At least once a month, I run Steemit community events and training workshops with my buddies at #teammalaysia too. Some examples are:

1. Steemit Bootcamp March 2018 - KICKSTART Your Steemit Success
2. BoilerRoom 03.03.2018 | Let's Huddle, Hustle & Hack Out Awesome Steemit Contents!

I'm also grateful to be part of #steemitbloggers , SmartSteem and the sndbox.

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Wait, why's Mav posting on Steemit nowadays?

Well, unlike other blogging and social media platform, Steemit is the only platform that allows me to earn cryptocurrency when I engage with it. Yup, one Steem is about USD5, and you, too, can earn Steem Dollars every time you:

• Create content (articles, blog posts, podcasts, videos, photos)
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Yup, basically it's the very same thing you're doing on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc all along!

The only difference? For once you can earn a nice income on the side!

Sign up for a free Steemit account, and you can thank me by coming back and upvoting this article. And guess what, you will earn Steem too for doing that! #awesome