Thank your parents, they did the best they could

in #life6 years ago
Many books have been written about parenting. Nowadays you even have books for gay parents and for those people who have adopted a child. Whatever parent you are, there is a book out there for you and not just one, many of them. You can read them all and still screw up your child 😄 There is no guarantee that you will not scar your child for life with a wrong sentence in a certain situation, and yes, that does sound scary but let me bring your mind to ease. You are not responsible for everything your child does and thinks. At some point, your little bundle of joy will have to take responsibility for his or hers actions and leave the comfort of your nest behind to start a new life. You could trouble yourself with those thoughts how things would have been different if you had just done that thing differently when he was five or said a different thing in that situation when she was fifteen. You can not change the past and you did the best you could with what you had and who you were back then. At some point, you need to give yourself some credit. You were the best possible parent you could have been. You loved and still love your children and you gave them everything you could. They should be and probably are, grateful. This post is not for you as a parent, this post is for you as a child.

GRATITUDE & LOVE

There is this thing called a generational difference. Of course, you will not have the same opinions on things as your parents, let me tell you a little secret. They had not had either with their parents (your grandparents). There are however some things that remained the same throughout generations. Those things are LOVE and GRATITUDE. You parents love or loved you. If they loved you, I am sorry for your loss, they still do love you, just not from this dimension anymore and they are watching over you in this way or another and they are living through you and all they have thought you. If you are blessed and still have your parents alive, do not miss the chance to show your gratitude whenever you can, even if you resent them for some things. They still had a great impact on you and are one of the reasons for you being you. You are walking because they thought you, using a fork and spoon, and they are so many things that you know because of them. Maybe it is driving, playing sports or fixing a car, maybe it is cooking. You have so much to be grateful for. Think about all those simple life lessons you learned from them.

DIVERSITY and GOING FORWARD

Over 20 years ago I was doing some choirs with my father in the city. I think I was some 10 years old or so. When we walked out of the last store there was a bus stop a couple of feet behind us and one that was in front of us but further away, some 5 minutes of walking. I wanted to go back, since the stop was right there, almost next to us, but no. My father insisted that we go to the further one because that was in front of us and in our direction. He said:

"You ALWAYS have to move forward in life even when going back seems easier."

This was probably the greatest thing my father has ever thought me and I will always remember it. The second thing I learned from him is to respect diversity and approach every human being with an open mind and hearth. There was no room for prejudice, not ever.

"Even if you meet a 100 people who are bad, that 101. person who is similar to them deserves a benefit of the doubt and does not have to be the same as them."

POWER AND STRENGTH

My mother taught me about personal power and strength. It was very important to her to teach me that I can do and be anything I want. Just because I am a woman does not give me the justification to not be able to do the things the men do if I wanted to do them. Every atom of my strength and personal power that I have I owe to her. She taught me how to read and she encouraged me to read. She always gave me books and puzzles and crosswords. She always says:

"Inteligence and knowledge are POWER."

THANK YOUR PARENTS

But enough about me, what did your parents teach you? What are you grateful for? What are those gentle wisdom thingies that you carry around because of them? There are so many and many you are not even aware of. Thank your parents. They did not only give you life which is a great and amazing thing to start with but they gave you so much more. I have to thank @steemflow for inspiring me to write about this. You can read his great post and find inspiration for writing about your parents here: 10 SBD Giveway Contest : Celebrating 1000 Follower You can even win some SBD-s for participating in his celebration. So tell me, what are you grateful for? What did your parents give you that is now a part of you?

KEEP YOUR SMILE ON!

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made by @simgirl

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I am not a parent, I am a child. You say This post is not for you as a parent, this post is for you as a child and I am commenting as such.

I have one parent left. I am aware and grateful for what I have received, and for what I see as their sacrifices. They did their best and they did it with love, regardless of how misguided and deluded I may consider it now. A lot of what I have learnt is a result of realising what I did not receive by way of emotional/psychological needs. I went through a period of anger and I am past that now. I accept and I forgive.

What has been difficult though, is not getting acknowledgement from the parent of their role in this process - ie the emotional issues that the parent has not dealt with will inevitably be passed on to the child. When the child becomes and adult, and if they start doing self-work (psychological or some other form of conscious healing), issues emerge which they become aware of and would like to discuss/confront with the parent. If the parent is in denial, this is a major problem as it can come across as a further rejection (in reality the parent is shit scared!) and may remain an issue until the child accepts that this is not their responsiblity.

Sentimentality over parenting overlooks some basic dynamics, as penned by Philip Larkin:

“They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.”
― Philip Larkin

Hahahaha, that song is funny :) Thank you for your wonderful comment 💚

Veoma emotivno za mene @zen-art, ponovo! :) Ti si bice koje ide stazom budjenja, i to je tako ocigledno. Srecna sam sto sam te upoznala. Idemo dalje.. :)

The happiness and love are mutual honey 💚💚💚

You're always the sunshine bursting out of the clouds! Good timing for me...thanks!

I am happy it was such a good timing for you! 💚

Another thought provoking post. Thank you for it.

My relationship with my father was, in FB language, complicated. He taught me to be tough and never, ever quit. He taught me to work hard, harder than anyone, including him. My father taught me patience and how to play baseball. He gave me that love for a game that I carry on today. I finally made peace with my father when I realized he had done so much better than his father. Who had done so much better than his.

My mother gave me grace and language. My mother encouraged my reading. My mother taught me to cook. My mother supported my motorcycle habit AND insisted that I be exactly who I am. My mother gave me love.

Thanks Petra, for the good thoughts for this day. I appreciate it.

I am so happy to hear you learned a lot from your parents, relationships can be complicated but we always learn something from them. This was so lovely to read 💚

Lovely post
I'm grateful for having my daddy and mummy as my parents. They might not be perfect but I do love them more than anything in this globe. Their unconditional love and good nurturing spirit is something I do admire and hope I can give to my future children
My parents displease theirselves, choose discomfort so that I and my siblings will be please and comfortable. I'm more than grateful for having them

And they are grateful for you just as you are grateful for them, I am sure about that 💚

In my opinion, we really start to appreciate our parents, when we become parents.

It happened sooner for me. It is always funny how your parents learn and evolve soooo much from when you are 16 and 19, WOOOW :D :D :D They learn so much in so little time lol

Thanks @zen-art for making first entry to the contest. The post and life lessons undoubtly the best one could have...keep steeming👌

I am glad I could be a part of it, thank you once again for inspiring me to write this. 💚

Love your child no matter what and I am sure you won't face any problem in their entire life.

Love is the most important thing here as always, I agree 💚

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post!

And thank you for reading it 💚

Great sentiment display. Truly enjoyed this~~

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