Contrasting experiences lead to appreciation

in #philosophy6 years ago
Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to good people or why bad things happen in general? Contrast plays a major role in our lives and we are exposed to it on a daily basis. There is so much we do not want, and sometimes it is right in our face. We are bombarded with negativity from the media and there will always be people in our personal lives that we just don't like or tolerate that much. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Well actually, my standpoint is that it is not bad at all. We need everything, the more the merrier. We need to bask in all colours to find the one we prefer.

Diversity comes in many forms

I often say that I love diversity and that I enjoy all that it brings. Different people and different experiences are what expand our intelligence and forces us to adapt our point of view and broaden our horizons. We can learn so much from being exposed to a variety of things and grow as individuals when we experience new possibilities to expand our knowledge. This sounds lovely when we think about travelling and getting to know different cultures but we neglect the fact that it includes stuff that we do not always like. When we are in those situations, or around people, that we wish we were not, all our love for diversity goes straight out the window and we begin asking those same all questions about why is this happening to us. Why do I have to see/hear/experience this when I don't like it? We even go so far to think that our lives would be perfect if everything was to our liking. I know you had those moments, we all did, with little or big things, when you wanted them to just go away. You saw them as disturbances in your normally happy life and as things that need to disappear or those you have to avoid in order to be happy again. What if nothing has to disappear and nothing needs to be avoided?

There are actually NO problems

We all need to realize that nothing in nature, or in people, is good or bad. Things just are. Our thoughts and feelings define our experiences and attribute them with different adverbs and adjectives and put them in categories of good and bad. Different people have different desires and what seems appealing to me can be repulsive to you. It is in human nature to have different preferences when it comes to almost everything.

"There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so."
Shakespeare (Hamlet, act 2, scene 2)

Our thinking about any given situation will make us decide and conclude if that situation is something we enjoy or not. Some things will be a great pleasure and some will remain in our minds as painful memories of times that we wish had never happened. Before going into how contrasting experiences are not only good, but needed in our lives, I have to make a point and try to explain that good or bad is just a matter of standpoint and a result of personal thoughts. Even though, we as a society, have agreed on some major things to make our coexistence possible and pleasurable, there is nothing normal, and nothing unnormal. It all depends on our perception and the place we are standing on. Our morality plays a big role in human interactions but if we look at nature, nothing is good or bad, everything just is.

“Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.”
Charles Addams

We NEED contrast

There would be no light without darkens, and no darkness without light. Things in contrast define each other. Even though it is sometimes painful, every experience has its value, and not just the educational kind. A lot of people, me included, often say that every experience is a teaching opportunity and that there are no failures, only lessons. I still stand behind those statements but I will go even further by saying that we need contrast to build ourselves. By having/seeing/hearing/experiencing what we don't want, we learn what we DO want. There are some philosophies and spiritual paths that talk about circular life and balance between being satisfied and unsatisfied with our surroundings and how it is normal to have a cyclic change in our appreciation. If things are going really good, they will get worse and vice versa. Other spiritual paths talk about negative and positive peaks on the curve of our experiences and those that say nothing good comes without at least a bit of bad. There is good in everything bad, and there is bad in everything good. A yin and yang sort of balance.

My opinion on this is somewhat similar to all of those, and yet, with a little twist. Our desires are constantly being born, and they are being born from every situation and experience. We always want to be more. More happy, more satisfied, more... It is in our nature to expand and grow. By our expansion, the Universe expands. By our growth, everything grows. That need is greater and bigger when we are dissatisfied with something. Great breakthroughs have come out of great troubles. We can talk and theorise about this but there are also simple, daily things in our lives that show us how contrast is needed and should be appreciated more often. Every time you taste something you do not like, you are closer to finding out what you do like, and every time you feel bad about something, you are on your path to feeling good because now you know what you want.

By knowing what you don't want, you are closer to knowing what you do want.

Having diversity and contrasting experiences in our lives is a blessing. You should keep your smile on, a genuine smile, and see every experience as an opportunity for your expansion. You are an incredible being, capable of incredible things, and only you are in your way of achieving them. You have all that it takes to be the best version of you. The world is not against you, it is giving you everything its got, showing you everything and providing you with everything. There is truly an abundance of everything. You are the one who needs to sift and sort through it all and find the things that are best for you. That sifting and sorting is a wonderful part of our journey.

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with them.”
Steve Maraboli

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Just dropping in to say that literally every single one of your posts is stellar. You write so conversationally, yet so readably. Diverse topics but always thought-provoking and relevant. I thoroughly enjoy your blog!

Oh... You are making me blush :) Thank you for your kind words, I am happy you approve 💚

I resonate with all of this, such a great article its so true. We have to have experiences in life to learn what we do not want, to give us the appreciation when something we do want, and like comes along 😊

So happy to see you here Happy :) I am glad you liked the article.

I agree, I mean really agree with what you wrote. I try hard not to judge a circumstance as good or bad, just let it play out and see what the result is.

I also believe there is a certain randomness to the Universe. Every now and again that randomness jumps up and bites me, good and bad. It just is, with no explanation that will fit. Random chance.

Comes from a theory that was advanced when I was young known as the 'Stray Angry Bullet'. I have refined it some in the 40 years since I first read it :)

Thanks for another thought provoking post. I really do appreciate them.

Trying is all that matters. We all have the tendency to get mad once in a while and that is normal, it is in our human nature to have all sorts of emotions, but what is important is to try and understand why did we get mad. That is the first step in knowing ourselves and the Universe. Trying not to judge will eventually end up in not judging :)

You nailed it! I agree with everything in fact. Guess we have a similar mind flow. xD

This one is the best formula for a great life! Too bad a lot of people don't realize it.

By knowing what you don't want, you are closer to knowing what you do want.

I guess we do 💚

Even though I hate to agree...it is exactly like this.
In Sweden [close enough to where I live] they have the highest rate of suicides even though they're considered 'happy' people - and now I'm realizing why: 'cause of the lack of contrast. Their lives are so perfect [fact] so they just...choose death! Insane huh?
As Amelia already said, your writing is impeccable and super amazing - always! :*

I have been thinking about Sweden, and Nordic countries in general, on an off for a couple of years and this could be one of the reasons for that problem. The other one could also be the lack of Sunlight, but then again, contrast. It does sound insane but yeah, the lack of contrast leads to lack of excitement towards life.

That's why I like Drama in my life :P No drama, no excitement - no excitement, no fun... Booooriiiing :D

Hahahahahaha, yeah, no excitement - no fun :D

eh eh true story! :D

You have been upvoted by the @sndbox-alpha! Our curation team is currently formed by @anomadsoul, @GuyFawkes4-20, @martibis and @fingersik. We are seeking posts of the highest quality and we deem your endeavour as one of them. If you want to get to know more, feel free to check our blog.

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Thanks for honoring one of the most precious @steemsugars guys :))) (or in this case just Guy ahaha ! :* )

I was able to liken your post to painting also. what makes a painting stands out is contrast, you have the light, shadow, highlights, and lowlights. all these factors make the whole picture to become more appreciated. thoughful post.

Painting is, I think, the best metaphor for life. That is why I chose this photo and I was wondering who would notice it :) Thank you for your lovely comment 💚

Very interesting and though provoking article, I think you a correct as well when you say we discover the things we do like in life by discovering first the things we do not.
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Thank you for stopping by and leaving your lovely comment, it is much appreciated 💚

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And here is the connection to your previous theme Taboos. The problem is when your ego is attacked and you don't except other colors. You find them as a threat. This is why you need to be open for all colors. We artist understand this, but some people sadly don't and for them is all difference threat.

Yeah, those two posts are connected, this can even be considered a part two :D I am glad you noticed the correlation between the two posts.

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