I am not a parent, I am a child. You say This post is not for you as a parent, this post is for you as a child and I am commenting as such.

I have one parent left. I am aware and grateful for what I have received, and for what I see as their sacrifices. They did their best and they did it with love, regardless of how misguided and deluded I may consider it now. A lot of what I have learnt is a result of realising what I did not receive by way of emotional/psychological needs. I went through a period of anger and I am past that now. I accept and I forgive.

What has been difficult though, is not getting acknowledgement from the parent of their role in this process - ie the emotional issues that the parent has not dealt with will inevitably be passed on to the child. When the child becomes and adult, and if they start doing self-work (psychological or some other form of conscious healing), issues emerge which they become aware of and would like to discuss/confront with the parent. If the parent is in denial, this is a major problem as it can come across as a further rejection (in reality the parent is shit scared!) and may remain an issue until the child accepts that this is not their responsiblity.

Sentimentality over parenting overlooks some basic dynamics, as penned by Philip Larkin:

“They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.”
― Philip Larkin