"Aliens, Crop Circles, Snack Cookies, Oh My !!!" Random Musings -by D.D. Schteinn

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It Is Possible I've Been Thinking About This A Little Too Hard

This something goes out to Steemit artist @rigaronib , in deferential response to his recent post in his Holi-Art series. Please check out these great artworks and humorous 'takes' on life and discussionary art reflecting and celebrating the sometimes absurd Holidays of the World. One (or many) for each day of the year.

His recent post, titled “Daily Holi-Art : #145: O-R-E-Oooooh...” celebrating Cream-filled Chocolates Day and Extraterrestrial Culture Day (as well as a couple of others, all highly unrelated here within this deeply thought-out, highly-researched scientific tome), really got my Science Brain cogs and wheels spinning at an incredibly high, WD-40 scorching rate of progress.

“It's All In The Design Of The Lid”

This particular post by @rigaronib today discussed the incredible similarity of the design upon the Oreo cookie lid, and his drawing of an Extraterrestrial Being from somewhere else. The artist did not say WHERE this Being from 'out there' actually hails from in the spacial realm of things... but judging by his great skills as an artist on Steemit, I figure he MUST know what he is talking about. It's obvious he knows art, and they say "Art Imitates Science", or vice versa, or something along those lines. Whatever they say...I am taking away from all of this--that he is probably well-versed in the matters of space travel, alien portraiture, and earthly snacks, as well as art.

Viewing his post really got me to thinking. And this is not just shallow, curbside-runoff-from-a-neighbor's-lawn-sprinkler-in-May sort of thinking. This is the heady, big-river, Grand Canyon-cranial-waterway stuff of deep Science.

Take A Look, Late At Night Next Time

Have you ever actually LOOKED at the outer-covering design on the roof of an Oreo cookie? (I suppose it may be the same on the bottom lid as well, I still need to check this out. Think a trip to the local BigBox store is in order, when I'm done writing this).

I must admit, I had never given this much thought, until recently. As in about 10 minutes ago. And I think I can speak for all of us late-night snack-meisters of the world, when I say, you all need to go easy on us for not noting any of this before now. After all, an Oreo cover is as dark as the darkest night. Almost pitch black.

And that is when these small, dollops of confectionery delight usually come out of the cupboard. Late at night. During major, multi-episode binge-sessions of Simon's Cat, or Justified, Season 1 through 6. And what better way to hide the fact that you are eating 3 pounds of these things from your 'better half', than to eat them in a completely darkened room. Let's face it, they're easier to hide that way. “No dear, that's just a shadow of the pillow, thrown by the TV, not a mondo pile of cookies.”

It's A Lot Like The Nose On Your Face

So no, we should not have been expected to figure this whole cookie design-thing out on our own. It's a lot like your nose. You've never actually SEEN much of your nose, in person. Yes, you can see it in the mirror. But you're seeing it backwards, and that is not TRULY seeing it. This is a reflection. How do we know what it really looks like, 'in the flesh'. To actually SEE your nose, you have to cross your eyes. And the parts of your nose you CAN now see...are totally out of focus. And it's just the sides of it. The unimportant parts that just hold up spectacles and such. This is just like that. Only in a different way. Most of us cookie consumers, unfortunately, never made the connection. These incredible ideas have been "extra-dark cookies in the darkened room." Until now.

Moving Ahead, Ever So Slowly

OK, so now I've seen the cover of an actual Oreo. (Check out the post from above (Oreo) by the artist @rigaronib , and then go buy some cookies of your own. They DO look a lot like the Alien in the drawing. Scary scary alike.) And what does all this mean? Well, let me explain it to you.

Crop Circles – Aerial Mowing The CornFields of The Midwest

I originally hail from the Midwest. And that place is Corn Country. Through and through. Yes, there are soybeans and other odd crops dotting the landscape here and there, but to coin a phrase from a local company in the area years ago: “Corn Is King." At least I think that was a real statement. If it isn't, it should be.

And crop circles were a big thing back in the days of my youth. Everyone talked about them. Hollywood made movies about them. Seems the Extraterrestrial's were always mucking about in Farmer Fred's corn patch. Randomly cutting intricately artistic, hugemongous pictures of odd things here and there, there and here, all over the fields of the Midwest. Pictures that had to be seen from space, to be...well...seen.

And if these artist folks from space were remiss for a month or three, running out of space fuel for their corn-mowers, or just becoming bored of mowing intricate pictures in the counties' patch of maze, the local high school students would take up the slack. Driving all around the countryside, bored to the land-gills, sometimes taking a beer or two with them as they wander. Too much time on their hands and a 4-wheel drive pickup later, there would be even MORE 'crop circles' in Farmer Fred's fields, come daylight.

Not sure WHAT these looked like from space, probably not too artistic. But from the ground, you couldn't really tell the difference. Again, kind of like the Nose Theory...too close to focus. And because of this, folks of the area were “just dang sure”, that the Extraterrestrials were always responsible, no matter what had transpired. Even if the Extraterrestrial folks took a break from their mowing for a month or two, the local four-wheeling yayhoos managed to keep the whole thing alive and well in everyone's mind. And also abuzz on page 2 of the local Grain Farmer's Graze n' Gazetteer.

And I believe they were dang right. I've seen pictures of these amazing crop circle designs from space on the Internet. No youth in a pickup truck can come close to these artworks, no matter HOW many beers they bring along, or how carefully the drawn-out on the truck-hood of planning and preparation was carried out. No, I'm convinced, these designs were definitely made by the these visitors from space.

But What About the Oreos?

So, this leads to the next highly scientific puzzle-piece of this incredible endeavour. Why are the Extraterrestrials, or Aliens, SO interested in the corn fields of the Midwest? Why are they always mowing them down, creating wondrous pictures from space as they go?

Well...think about it. What is the most important product that comes from the harvest of corn? High Fructose Corn Syrup. Corn is more than plentiful. And so is H.F.C.S. The stuff is used to sweeten just about everything in our grocery-store life. Cakes, pies, soda, breakfast cereals, many fast foods, regular other-foods, and Oreo's. O-R-E-O cookies. Anyone else starting to see some connection here? Let me spell it out in plane math.

A + B + C…Does Not Equal 7, Folks!!

As stated above, Oreos are made from High Fructose Corn Syrup. High Fructose Corn Syrup comes from Corn. Corn grows in Corn Fields. And the Extraterrestrials are always mucking about in our Corn Fields. Mowing them down with their high-tech lawnmowers, usually at night. Quietly, and unseen. And now, it's been pointed out that Oreo Cookies have a picture stamped on their covers that look like an Extraterrestrial. Whoa, Betty. Pass the Biscuits. Does this send shivers down anyone else's late-night, cookie consuming, Outer Limits binge-ing spinal column? The connections here are so obviously obvious.

Further Study Is Surely Needed

I would like to go out on a limb here, scientifically speaking, and suggest a study of these facts. Where do these cookies REALLY come from? Are they really delivered to the store in trucks? Has anyone actually BEEN to the Oreo factory? Has anyone actually seen when the boxes of cookies come out and into the trucks to go to the store?

Nothing in science is ever proven. It is just not dis-proven. Is there any proof that these snack cookies DON'T come to us in Space Ships? Thinking back, to the last time I drove all over the BigBox Store lot, no parking space to be found anywhere in the same County, I drove BEHIND the store, to see if I could park there. There were “No Parking” signs everywhere. Obviously, they did NOT want me to park back there. This was suspicious. There was lots of room. Why didn't they want me to park back there?

The only thing back there was big dumpsters, and a bunch of loading docks. And the docks were ALL large enough to park a space vehicle. And there were black marks all over on the cement, all around the docks. I'm not saying they were exhaust marks from Space Conveyances. But then gain, I'm not saying they weren't. Plus, you cannot see what is going on back there from Highway 66. There are too many trees in the way. Even more suspicious.

Statistical Analysis and Blind Taste Tests -- The Only Way To Really Be Sure

There is great potential for someone to address this in a Masters of Science Program, or maybe even the PhD Program at a Major University. I think more research is in order first though. Possibly a consistency test concerning repeatability dynamics on the design set, thus noted on the Oreo cookie lids. Is there a definitive, statistically repeatable, comparative dataset attainable, analyzing the patternation of the cover, cookie to cookie, in multiple, repeatable, consumptive taste tests over time? In lay terms: Is the design on the bottom of the Oreo lid ALWAYS the same as the top? I've decided to step up. I think a whole lot more research should be performed, starting tonight. I'll wait until it gets a bit darker, then commence.

~ Finto ~

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