Random Musings -by D.D.Schteinn ~UPDATED Post - The Need for Deep Green Velveteen Re-Visited
The Answer To: The Need For Deep Green Velveteen
Or..."JoAnn finally called. NOW what do I do?"
Well, JoAnn Called After All
Not long after my last post, I got a text with and electronic 'Coup', as my buddy Brillo used to call them in Boise. Those small, weekly newspaper books that showed up in our mailbox from Buttrey Osco, touting the newest electronica, groceries, TP, and other spurious stuff we SO obviously needed to survive another day. But this was different. This was JoAnn. And this was fabric. Fabric I really DID need, to finish my latest photographic project on Steemit. At the local store, right now. Better head right over to get it, before they close at 9:00.
I promptly jumped in the Subaru, drove over to her store, and looked and looked and looked and looked. And looked a bit more. There were rows and rows and rows and rows and rows of fabric. All colors, all types, all textures, all on individual 'bolts', with a different width and price on every bolt. I had no idea the world of sewing could be this complicatedly involved.
A Bit Of Help Please
I wandered all about, picturing exactly what I needed regarding the perfect Deep Green Velveteen fabric. I think I covered a country mile, whatever those might be, before a very nice and helpful woman discovered me in the Taffeta aisle. "Can I help you, Sir"? She soon about-faced me a mile or two in the other direction, over to the small section with the 'Velvets', where she presented the various bolts in Deep Green. (I did not mention 'Velveteen' to her, not actually sure if that is a real thing in the world of fabrics or not...)
Would You Like To Mortgage Your Home, or Just The Subaru, Sir?
YOWZA. The fabric that I so coveted for my next project of necessity, was not exactly a bargain bin sort of thing. Evidently my mental musings and visionary needs related to velvet, are exceedingly high-brow. My coveted Deep Green Velveteen was something like $39.99...per yard!!! Even WITH my 50% off coupon, this was still edging into the realm of the absurd. At least in MY world of photo-background fabricology. I'm not exactly well off, and would generally categorize myself as 'comfortable'. And when not sitting on the couch or BarkoLounger in front of the television, I don't have that much money either.
Time for a bit of higher math. The Deep Green Velveteen was about 52 inches wide. For my project, I need at least 10 feet wide, and 10 feet long. So, get out the calculator... #"$@#$@#@#()#)$*#" [Computer keyboardpeak sound effects, to represent a calculator, going at light speed to figure out all the sizes, shapes and requisite pieces of Deep Green Velveteen I would need, at 52" wide, to cover such an area.] And the resulting answer: There is no way I can afford this stuff. It would be something like a whopping $360. Velvet or no classic velvet, that was now the big question.
Du uh...
I settled for the dark green, cotton backing for quilts (can't remember what it's really called), which weighs in at $9.99 per yard, divided by 50%. No, it's not Deep Green Velveteen. Yes, I can still keep putting gasoline in the Subaru. Things may not look as good in the end as my imagined photos would have looked, had I gotten the DG Velveteen, but I figure that is why someone invented Photoshop.
You Just Can't Afford NOT To Buy It
As I was walking with the woman towards the checkout to show my coveted sales coupon and pay my bill, my phone beeped at me once more. It was JoAnn. Another coupon for -40% showed up in my texts. "Oooh, another coup". I quickly noted all the other really cool, projectural things that were now popping up like springtime mushrooms, on display all through the store as I walked. Magnifying glasses, special double-sided tape, REALLY special scissors for cutting around corners, large, thick paper for drawing cartoons, and a whole plethora of other creative play-toys, beguiling me with their artistic and now-cheaper ways.
I was mentally categorizing what particular thing might be a 'best purchase' with this second electronic coupon, when the woman abruptly stopped to go another way in the store. I asked her, somewhat absent minded-ly, as I fingered a nice, shiny new Exacto knife, whether anyone actually PAYS $39.99 for Deep Green (Velveteen). She replied back to me over her shoulder, as she headed to another part of the store..."Yes, some do." Then continued with, "But you'd be AMAZED at what some other people buy, just because they have a 50% off coupon. Things they wouldn't have bought yesterday, but now it's on sale".
I quickly dropped the nifty Exacto knife back on the shelf, headed to the checkout, showed them my electronic coupon, paid, and walked out to the waiting car. I smiled to myself, as I unlocked the door. "Hah, I wasn't born yesterday, JoAnn."
Not only that, I read on a store sign on aisleway 6, when walking about looking at things...
$$ -- Don't Miss It -- Coming Next Week: 75% OFF -- With Select Coupon -- $$
I figure I can wait them out, no one pulls a fast one on THIS savvy shopper.
Thanks for reading, and Full Steem Ahead.
Please Check Out My Other Posts, If You So Desire
~ALL ORIGINAL CONTENT~
SHORT STORY-HUMOR
Big Time Writing & HomeRepair//Merry Ne'kid Confectionary Christmas//My Career-French Impressionist Painter//True Crime @ The MGM//MicroAward - 33 1/3 Award for Followers//Cats Really Do Have It Made//Ottoman Mars-Big Game Hunters From Mars Killed Our Dinosaurs -Part: 2//The Department Of OMG-Ottoman Mars -Part: 1//A Letter From The Cat//To Be A Bee At The End Of "To Be"//Happy Curmudgeon Halloween
PHOTOGRAPHIC ABSTRUSITIES
On Comfort//"Moonrise" Over Solace, Oregon//Shoe Shots No. 1//It'sa Dog's Life-Work
POETRY/CARTOONS
One Minute Poem-Ode To The First of November//
Oh To Be A Cat Today
PHOTOGRAPHY
See Blog. There are many
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Thanks so much, I do appreciate it.
That's pretty funny. I hope your project goes well, even with your sub-velveteen fabric. Maybe you can get a small swatch of it for a tiny project someday. Or maybe they have a fabric rental program. ; )