Random Musings -by D.D.Schteinn ~ The Need For Deep Green VelveteensteemCreated with Sketch.

in #humor7 years ago (edited)



The Need For Deep Green Velveteen

Or..."Where IS JoAnn when I need her?"



Sage Motherly Advice

I recently was in the market for some fabric to use as a background for a photo post on Steemit. And looking good in these artistic endeavours is so very important. This all harkens back to one of many pieces of sage advice, doled out by my dear Mother years ago, most often dispensed whenever I ventured out into the world beyond our front door. "Look your best, looking good is important".

Well, actually, I may be paraphrasing a bit here. What she really said, was something to the tune of "Always make sure you put on clean underwear, you never know when you might end up at the hospital." I never did have the heart to tell her that the LAST thing on my mind, when I'm being wheeled into the emergency room for some as-yet undisclosed catastrophe, was that my 'unders' might not be up to the proper *N.U.B.S.M elastic criterii, or pass the Mr. Clean Whiteness test. There just might be other things on my mind at the time.

I did not ignore my Mother...I just took the advice to heart in a differing direction... and applied it to other aspects of my life. Like photography backgrounds..."Always look your best."

Applying Motherly Advice To Steemit

And now, I need to look my photographic best for Steemit. You see, I have reached another grand goal on this site. And I need to take a photograph to make a post to commemorate this marvelous milestone. (I realize this is exciting, please Stay Tuned.)

To accomplish this photo, I need a new piece of background cloth for this particular session. This is where JoAnn comes in. She is a fabric store. A BIG fabric store. With "a huge selection of fabrics, at a great price."

This all started with a Steemit post 2 months ago. (33 1/3 MicroAward). I needed a very specific color of cloth, to really 'set things off' in the photo. So I visited JoAnn. Have to admit, the fabric WAS a pretty good price, and they offered me a coupon at the counter to make it even more affordable. But there was one small catch. It required me to give them my phone number, so I could receive the discount coupon in a text.

Savvy Advertising - 101

Jump ahead, to two months later, and about 1700 new texts on my phone, touting all the "great deals" , and various coupons for "20, 30, even 50% off" my "next fabric purchase." I rather seriously discussed this with myself, and the option of turning this 'service' off, to clear my phone and maintain some semblance of auditory sanity. (My 1910-vintage flip phone continually yells at me whenever I ignore incoming 'stuff.') But alas, thrift got the better of me, and I left this activity 'on' within my phone, because you never know when you might need more affordable fabric.

I Have A Need For Deep Green Velveteen!

And this moment has arrived. This week. I have reached a new goal on Steemit. And I need a piece of fabric to background my next photographic post. Not just any fabric...I've decided I need a piece of Deep Green Velveteen. It should really artistically set things off, once again.

And wouldn't you know it. My phone is as silent as the deep ocean is dark. Where are you, JoAnn? I need you. I need a fabric. I need a Coupon. I need my Deep Green Velveteen. Where ARE you!?

I sure hope she texts me soon, and I can get on with this all-important endeavour. I will keep you posted. And then, maybe I can get posted.

Thanks for reading, and Full Steem Ahead.

- d.d.s



*N.U.B.S.M - National Underfineries - Board of Standards and Measures






Self-Actualized ~ Multicolor 33 1/3 Award for Number of Followers




Please Check Out My Other Posts, If You So Desire
~ALL ORIGINAL CONTENT~

SHORT STORY-HUMOR
Big Time Writing & HomeRepair//Merry Ne'kid Confectionary Christmas//My Career-French Impressionist Painter//True Crime @ The MGM//MicroAward - 33 1/3 Award for Followers//Cats Really Do Have It Made//Ottoman Mars-Big Game Hunters From Mars Killed Our Dinosaurs -Part: 2//The Department Of OMG-Ottoman Mars -Part: 1//A Letter From The Cat//To Be A Bee At The End Of "To Be"//Happy Curmudgeon Halloween
PHOTOGRAPHIC ABSTRUSITIES
On Comfort//"Moonrise" Over Solace, Oregon//Shoe Shots No. 1//It'sa Dog's Life-Work
POETRY/CARTOONS
One Minute Poem-Ode To The First of November//
Oh To Be A Cat Today
PHOTOGRAPHY
See Blog. There are many

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I laughed out loud more than once as I was reading this! I've got some cruise ship company that calls my cell phone regularly, but I don't know what I signed away to get on their list. I've never even asked about a cruise, let alone go on one. Hope you get your fabric at a "great JoAnn price", lol!

Six minutes before the payout and I caught it...and gave my two cents, literally haha!
Of course when you finally need Joann she's disappeared, I've found those things to be a lot like pens and lighters! My suggestion would be to click on one of the others, it might inspire them to send you one :)

Oooh, that was close ( : Thanks for the support, and your two cents. Appreciate the appreciation...and glad you saw the post. They are so much fun to write. It DOES have an ending...however happy or not quite to plan. I just put out the update.

And yes, those pesky little things we daily need DO know how to disappear, whenever we need them most. Like a mind of their own. Thanks again.

I Just Upvoted Your Post! No reason, just showing steemit Love. Have an epic Day/Afternoon/Evening! :D
https://steemit.com/life/@iloveupvotes/kindness-is-all-it-takes

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