How to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think
Most of us are too conscious to live our lives based on our societies expectations. We don't want to be called weird, and we don't want to become deviant. We tend to follow trends because people think that you are cool when you are trendy.
We want to follow the trends even if, sometimes, we are having difficulties following those trends, we are not happy to mimic our friends but because others think that it is cool people do it anyway. Because they want to be "in." They don't want to become an outcast to societies we're in. What they want is to be accepted in their society or group of friends that they have. We try to blend in when in fact we are created to be unique. We have different skin colors, languages, cultures, and personalities but we have common interest that brings us together.
Why are we so worried about what other people think? Why is it such a big deal to us? Why are we willing to live the life that we don't want just to impress people that we don't like? What an irony!
Some says they can't help it. Other says they don't want to be rejected from other people. Well everyone of us experience rejections in our lives not only once but many times. If certain people reject you then move on and fine another one. In no time you will find the right friends, right groups, right person, right carrier, and right place for you. Don't force others to like you to the extend that you are willing to live your life full of fakery.
Here is a video of Jack Ma from Goalcast that will teach us something about rejections (credits to MBD TUBE)
After watching the video now you know that experiencing rejection is okay. It is simple as that, though it is not easy. But hey! Beginning is always the hardest. Messy in the middle but very beautiful in the end. That's what I've learned from Robin Sharma.
Anyway, let's get to the point. How can we stop worrying about what other people think? Here are some of the mindsets I learned:
"Whatever you do, good or bad, people will always have something negative to say about you and that's life."
Just imagine how miserable your life can be if you let other people control your life just because you are too worried about what other people think about you. It's not a good idea letting other people dictate you on what you should do with your life. It's your life, you should own it. Yes, you can listen to good advice especially if it comes from your parents, but not with toxic people. When you start to accept this reality in our society, the lesser it gets you. Trust me, I've been there.
"I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure that the earth revolves around the sun and not you."
Sometimes, it's just us. We are just assuming that these people are talking behind our back but in reality, they don't care about your life at all. They are just too busy minding their own business and they don't have the luxury of time to stick their noses in your business. Let's face it, we, people almost always assume things in our daily lives. When we start reminding ourselves on the daily basis that we are not the sun that the earth revolves around, we will start to feel at peace.
"It's not your job to stop them from talking behind you, but it's your job not to let it affect you."
Every one of us has the right to say his or her opinion about something and that includes who they think you are. It's human nature. Each of us was given a brain to think and a mouth to talk. All of us have the freedom to think anything that we want to think. No other person can control your train of thoughts. Most of us are living in an autopilot and they can't control their train of thoughts. So we should respect their rights and we should own our rights too. We can't control their thoughts but we have the right not to accept it. It will only damage you the moment you accept their opinion towards you. Just remind yourself that their opinion is not your reality, period.
The more you know who you are, the lesser you care about what other people think.
We should start building our own image and start knowing who we really are so we don't get confused on who we are and who other people think we are. We are too focused on knowing the people around us that we fail to know who we really are. We should start spending more time with ourselves, listen to your inner self, do activities that help you discover who you are. Spending time with yourself is boring at first, especially if you are not used to it. But as you discover things about you, the happier you will get and you will now start enjoying going out with yourself. You no longer depend your happiness on someone else. If only I can hold your attention for so long, I will be more than happy to share how I dated myself.
Thou shall focus on yourself-development rather than worrying about what other people think.
The more focused you are on who you are becoming the lesser you give a d*mn on what other people think about you. Know your goals, make a plan and deadline, do everyday activities that will help you get closer to your goals and you will start to become the person who is too busy to mind other people's business and too busy to worry about what other people think about you. As you started to grow, you will learn the art of selective listening, reflecting on the feedbacks you hear, and you start improving the things you need to improve. Those people who talk behind your back, don't hate them. Make them a tool or an inspiration to become a better person. Start to apply the golden rule in your own life. "Do not do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you." If you don't want other people to talk behind your back, stop talking about other people behind their back. If you don't want other people to comment on your life, don't give comments about their lives. Yes, it's very simple and if you apply this, it can make so much improvement in your life.
"People would say bad things about you because it is the only way their insignificant self can feel better than you."
There are people out there who live a miserable life,. They can't handle it; they can't control it, so they start to control other people's lives. They want to make you miserable too because they feel good doing so. The problem is with them and not you, so be more compassionate and considerate of them.
Know that the lesser you care about their opinion, the happier you will get.
I don't think it is necessary to give elaborations on this part. You get what I mean, right?
At the end of the day, you will end up polished.
Sometimes, people are like sandpapers. They rub you as hard as they can. You will feel the pain, you will get wounded, but at the end of the day a used sandpaper will be trash and you will end up polished.
I really hope you get as many values as I did and I am hoping that sooner or later you will learn to turn obstacles into new opportunities. Please feel free to give your suggestions in the comment section below. Thanks!
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Right on :)
Yep!
I have a lot of tools of inspiration!
Love your post here so much here after finding in the comments by @selfpluslove in Upvotable 32 that I am including it in upvotable 33 along with a full upvote and a double tip! 20
Would you please keep writing for us and share stories from your own life as much as possible because we would love to read them?
@jerrybanfield I saw the tip you gave. Really thought it was from @tipu all alone for it was the only name reflected in the notification. Read your comment to late so I ended up thanking @tipu in my today's post https://steemit.com/steemians/@iamrosallie/6-mindset-every-steemian-should-have
But as you can read in my today's post, you'll see that I mentioned you twice for I am actually your follower especially your youtube videos and I consider you as one of my favorite mentors. I will edit my post so I could formally thank you.
Yes, I will keep on writing. In fact, I already wrote 22 topic list so I will not run out of ideas. Thankyou so much for the support and kind words. It's very encouraging. Thankyou😊😊😊
Hi @iamrosallie! @jerrybanfield is sending you 20.0 SBD tip and @tipU upvote
:)
@tipU - send tips by writing tip! in the comment, get share of the profit :)Great post @iamrosallie! I am including a post that I wrote last night that is very similar to your post here. I have Followed you, Upvoted your post and Resteemed as well as posting this comment. I believe we have the same ideas and I would love to continue sharing and following your comments and hope you will return the upvote and follow me as well. Here is the link to my blog from yesterday. https://steemit.com/investment/@tavi/you-are-more-incredible-than-you-know
Stay Strong, Press On and Charge the Hill.
Passionate about your Dreams
jeff
@tavi. Hi, Jeff! Thanks for dropping by. Tried doing the upvote, follow, and resteem thing but never really work for me to be honest. I want to have an organic followers from now on. People who upvote and resteem my post because they like and they learned something from my post. 😊😊
Did read and comment to your post though. Try gaining organic followers through your content and surely you'll find the right people who appreciates your work. When I started putting passion on my writings to the topic I am really interested in I started gaining more followers and upvotes. If we focus on our content, everything will follow. Upvotes, followers, and resteem. For sure it will be hard and you need to put a lot of effort to your post but It's worth it. 😉😉
It is hard to ignore negative thoughts like this but hopefully as we get older we will care less. Maybe this is why older people seem to be overall happier.
I agree with you @timspeer about how hard it can be to ignore negative thoughts. However, consider this; the greatest power we have been given is the power of choice. We can choose to take offense to comments or leave them where they came from. I hope you will follow me, I have done the same as well as Upvoted your reply. Stay Strong, Press On and Charge the Hill! Passionate about your Dreams.
@tavi yes negative thoughts are hard to ignore and yes we do have a choice and I did chose to train my brain. It has hard at the beginning but as I begin to get the momentum, it's easier. 😊😊
@timspeer does that mean that I am old? 😂😂😂 I'm still in my 20's but I am able to train my mind to stop thinking negative thoughts. I'm not bragging though. I can control my thoughts. I can even silent my thoughts. I am aware and I know how to listen and analyze my own thoughts. I am studying self development for 4 years now and tried different things as an experiment to figure out how can I train my brain. Maybe people will find it weird or impossible but yes, I successfully done it.
By any chance, are you willing to read if I will post a blog regarding this topic?
It's the fear of being abandoned, alone and ultimately dying. (Please stay with this comment for a moment and I'll explain)...
At some point in our childhood we cried for our mothers to come to us and, for whatever reason (maybe she was in the bathroom) she didn't come, so we cried louder, because maybe she didn't hear us, but still... she didn't come. Now we are alone and we can't survive.
As very young children, we instinctively know that our entire survival is based on our mothers, and sometimes our fathers, taking care of us.
When we get a glimpse of the fact that we're not always in control of this and could we lose that control.... we have our first experience with very, very traumatic fear of rejection and yes --------> death.
People impose the trends as a source of power and control. /
People conform to the trends out of the very, very real FEAR of being abandoned, which - through their own neuron-network in their brain - they have subconsciously associated with death.
In other words - Being alone and rejected by the people imposing the trends is subconsciously associated with death.
@zero21mill thanks for the additional input. Yes, how we perceive now is based on the experiences we have in childhood. If we want to change how we perceive things we need to heal those fears and replaced it. If we associate rejection to fear then we can learn to associate rejection to something better is coming.
Tony Robbins teaches people to associate the a certain things with something to create the desired result. If we are on a diet but we are craving for an ice cream, what should we do? To stop craving for an ice cream you need to associate ice cream with body fats, vomit or any disgusting thing you could ever think and associate it with the things you don't like. Surely, in no time, you will no longer crave for an ice cream.
So we should start associating our fear of rejection to you are meant for something better.
Right.
Most very, very successful people did things their own way, so you can associate it with success.
The problem is: the way you think is like a well-traveled path through a forest. - It's just plain easier for people to take that path. It's a life-long habit in our neuron network developing since we were in the womb.
The older you get the harder these associations are to break and everything is associated to something else.
Tony is a very wise man. I met him once in Atlanta.
Yes, yes. It's very hard. Winning against myself is the hardest battle I ever been. Won the few stages already but there's more to go. It was playing Call of Duty where there are main series. I successfully completed the mission from call of duty 1-4 until modern warfare 2 but I still need to complete Black Ops to WWII. 😂😂😂 Sorry, not good at explaining. But yeah. 😊😊😊
Be what you expect of Yourself,Not what others except of you !
Nice writing sir !
Thanks for sharing a good piece of thoughts !
@qura my pleasure. By the way, I am female😊😊😊
Oops Miss* hehe
Amazing post @iamrosallie. I think everyone should read this post since we all deal with this in our lives. There was a research made in the old people's homes, where the elders were asked what were the biggest regrets in their life, and the #1 answer was that they lived for others and not their own life. They always wanted to be approved of others and live by others opinions. And that is very sad, and that is not the way I want to live, because like you said yourself, no matter what we do, there will always people disagreeing with us. Thank you so much for sharing this and like @jerrybanfield said keep on writing these amazing post. Love it. Following and upvoted because I want to see more of your posts.
@joalvarez thanks for sharing your ideas. I have a new post and I think you will love it
https://steemit.com/iamrosallie/@iamrosallie/6-most-important-things-for-a-woman-to-learn-in-life
I wrote it to empower women to become the best version of themselves. Later did I realized that the things I shared is not only applicable for women but also men and other genders. Let me know what you think about my new post. I'm interested to hear your opinions about my new post.😊😊😊
This post recieved an upvote from minnowpond. If you would like to recieve upvotes from minnowpond on all your posts, simply FOLLOW @minnowpond
Thanks @minnowpond. 😊😊
Superbly written wise words. God bless you for enlightening others
@sayee thanks for the kind words and encouragement😊😊
I'm a master of ignoring things especially rejection, been rejected many times, I stopped counting, who cares? just be ourselves and move on.
As long as you learn from every rejections and you made the effort to recognize the reasons and improved it, you're good.