Useful tips P.2 : The importance of independent professionals (such as psychologists)

This is the second post of my series with tips when dealing with CPS

In the first post with useful tips when you have to deal with CPS (Child Protective Services), I wrote some things about documentation. If you want to read that post, you can find the link on the bottom of this post, including all my other posts regarding CPS.

This time I would like to give some tips about CPS or any other youth care agency regarding your children, and they want you / the children to speak to a behavior scientist or psychologist or any other professional of that matter.

At a certain point CPS may want you / your children to see a professional like a psychologist

This can be due to an investigation that they are going to start, or maybe while your in a women's shelter with your kids. Maybe this is because they believe you have mental problems they want you to deal with, or maybe they don't see any other way to make money on you, that they would like you to be marked as having mental issues !

When I had to move to the second shelter location the procedure was that every candidate was mandatory to take a psychological test. This was a sort of screening they like to do, and if they can mark down some symptoms for borderline for example, when the results come in they will tell you that they want you to take a bigger test.

What they don't tell you on forehand is, that you are free to refuse this, and that almost 95% of the women there is marked as having borderline disorder.

I discovered this before I moved there, and I thought it was remarkable that it almost seemed that this insinuated that these women there were the bad guys instead of the monsters they fled from.
I did the mandatory small test and I asked the psychologist that took it, if I could refuse further testings, and she answered yes. I believe she didn't see it coming when I asked her, because I guess she wasn't suppose to tell me this.

This was a psychologist that worked for this women's shelter (in-house)

After I found out that all my previous reports in the shelter I came from had been signed by a behavior scientist that I never even met, I was learning to pay some more attention to who I was supposed to speak to, and even more why this was always someone working for them.
These professionals are not independent, so they always will decide in favor of the organisation they work for, that was obvious to me at that point. **The goal is to make as much money on you and your children in this vulnerable situation you're in. **

This seems pretty off to me, because we are talking about women in need for help and guidance that are being profiled by those professionals for further actions to be taken.
When we had a meeting with my ex (this always was hard for me) there would always be a behavior scientist there since I moved to that location. And let me tell you, that wasn't in my favor, as soon as the conversation started to get nasty due to my ex his behavior, it almost seemed as if they had played out the cards on forehand how this meeting would go.
More reasons to get more alert about who I was supposed to talk to, and what the benefits for me could be, or in most cases, the benefits for the shelter / CPS etc.

My daughter needed play-therapy they said

At the first location everything went pretty well if we look at how they judged me being a mother for the kids. It almost seemed like they were searching for things to shine a light at. So they did a little conversation with my then 5 year old daughter to see how she was coping with everything. At that point things weren't that rough as they would get 6 months from then.
And of course, there were some vague things they noticed, so they suggested her to go to children's therapy (play therapy). I agreed, because I didn't see any harm in this, and I was still believing they were there to help us at that point.

But the waiting list was at least 6 months they said. And then the issue around my ex making me believe that the children were being sexual abused came up (see link below this post if you didn't read it). And we actually thought this was getting serious so this play-therapy must start soon. And it did, but you know what? During that whole time she was going to play-therapy weekly, they did not investigate this part (sexual abuse) they just never spoke about it again as soon as we lost our house!

I tried to get a my own information from that children's psychologist about the therapy

But this women was only allowed to speak with us directly when this was in their report that they set-up before starting the therapy sessions. All the time I hoped and thought this would take some time to get to this delicate subject, but it just never happened.

They won't fool me anymore with their so-called help of professionals!

When I started to make my "game-plan" for when my time has come to fight to get the children back, one of the first things I decided, was to find my own independent psychologist and any other professional that might be involved to help you get a stronger case.
It has been proven several times in my case that afterwards you see why they got involved, and was only and I repeat ONLY in their advance. Not because my daughter had benefit the sessions at play-therapy, I simply did not notice any difference in her behavior, she was just my smart 5 year old, as always.

And then that psychologist that took those mandatory tests, of course she benefits from the fact when she can mark you down as having a personality disorder. I can tell you that I don't fit the typical norm for a person with borderline disorder, but they tried to give me that mark in the files anyways. That would have meant they could fall back on that 1 test I took to keep saying that I needed professional help (from their in-house psychologist). And once you are marked that way, and you don't agree and step up against them, they will mark you as being out of control, and you aren't able to see the consequences of your action long term.

So whatever you do, if you think you need professional help, because you believe this will benefit your mental state of mind, you should absolutely do this! I am all good if you believe you need this, and not if THEY have told you you have this or that disorder and they believe you need it. You are in a very delicate situation and it is not weird you have mood swings after you fled your violent husband (or something similar). Of course it needs a bit time to cope with this situation..
You are human not a robot.

Even though they might not like it, you can tell them you want an independent professional

They will try to convince you that they have good ones on the job, but don't let them fool you, you have rights! But always use well-founded arguments when you are putting your feet up against them. And especially, keep repeating them whenever this is spoken about.

I can tell you that I am saving money now to go to an independent psychologist before I will go to a lawyer to let this person study my complete case. Why on earth would I do this? It has been proven that a person simply can't tell the same detailed stories about what happened all these years without being discovered as lair. So back in Holland CPS and the others did not want to examine all my Gigabytes of evidence. Simply because they saw an opportunity to make money of the back of my children and me.

We are several years passed that moment that CPS was interfering, and I want the European Court of Human Rights to go after the government, this will include an independent report of a psychologist that confirms (one forehand!) that CPS was ignoring the sings when presented to them that spoke against my ex, deliberately to make sure money was made. Therefore my whole family got ripped apart...

I don't want them to get the chance at that point to send their own psychologist to study the case, I want to present the judge several independent reports by pro's that it is simply impossible to go into these details over and over again without them being true. If they will they can even put me on the lie-detector. I will save funds to pay for these investigations myself! No government interference needed, I will be the full independent mother they want me to be! But it will be a good known professional that is not an idiot and not to be fooled by lies!

I know it will be a fortune to get these things done, as my case is so very complicated, but that's why I am here spreading the story. I want to help those others in need to open their eyes to be careful with CPS and government agencies, but I also need my children back with me. And the sooner I am ready to start these investigations to put in my self written report about what rights are violated, the sooner I will get them back.

Good work takes a lot of time though, but now you have a bit of insight about what I need to do before going to court again.

On behalf of me and my children, thank you for your support since I found the courage to start writing here on Steemit!

Special thanks to @familysupport for setting up this initiative to help family's in need. Please visit their profile to read what the familysupport tag is about. If you write under this tag, please donate a bit of your earnings back to the community

I write a lot about my period dealing with CPS, feel free to read my stories linked in this posy below.
Let's not be silenced anymore, and gather our strength, thanks for reading this little part of my story..

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My previous posts

Introduction of Anouk Nox

An introduction of Anouk Nox, I will not be silenced anymore! This year I will make a difference!

About being homeless

I was homeless a few year ago
How to get back your inner strength (part 2 from my story)

About domestic violence

Why you should always report domestic violence if you see this happening

How the police let me down from the first time I called them for help

The first days in a women's shelter with my 2 oldest kids, fled for their violent dad

How my kids and I fled to a women's shelter for their violent dad

About the narcissistic / psychopathic games my ex played

My ex made me believe his stepfather was sexually abusing my 2 oldest children

Tips dealing with CPS / youth care / government agencies

How I learned to speak up when disagreeing with social workers / CPS workers

[Some very useful tips for when you have to deal with CPS (lessons I learned the hard way P1 - Documentation)] (https://steemit.com/familyprotection/@anouk.nox/some-very-usefull-tips-for-when-you-have-to-deal-with-cps-lessons-i-learned-the-hard-way-p1-documentation)

Open letters series by Anouk Nox

Open letter to my oldest daughter, who I haven't seen in 2 years

Feelings, thoughts and things on my mind

Tears seem to be endless today, missing my 2 oldest kids

To vaccinate or not to vaccinate