To vaccinate or not to vaccinate? Our daughter only had her first 2 shots as a baby

When my two oldest kids were born they got their shots without me questioning it..

I know there's a lot of going on about vaccinations, and I am one of the persons (while I had my first 2 kids in Holland) that vaccinated them without even thinking about what was in the vaccinations. During that period in my life I never had a person in my life that brought up the discussion about the dangours of the ingredients in the vaccinations. It was the normal thing to do, and I did not even realise I had a choice. Maybe I was ignorent, maybe I wasn't but I am glad nowadays my eyes are opened.. Eventhough I know many things about the twisted world (like Big Pharma) we live in, that I'd rather not have known for my own sake..

And then there was going to the pediatrician visits where I did hear some awful things about from other parents. I never had problems with these doctors, so I just blindly did what was expected by me described in the little baby book you get on your first appointment there. I think it also had to do with the fact that I was a first time mom, and I blindly followed the crowd? I didn't know anything about weird stories of kids that were vaccinated back then.  

Behind the scenes comments in documentation when I rescheduled the appointments

I did not experience anything bad with my 2 oldest kids after them being vaccinated, only my son got some fever after a few shots. So it was never up for discussing for me not to get them in that time. What I do remember years later in the documents I wanted to have from the pediatrician consultations after I was fighting for my rights after I got homeless, was that they made several notest (internly) that the mother (me) rescheduled the appointments for vaccinations total of 11 times. (this was because I fled to a women's shelter and moved from shelter to shelter in a year time, so it was kind of a hassle to get there for me with 2 kids). And the tone of these notes gave me a weird feeling reading them. But they never confronted me about this, actually. At this point the hassle was only in the documentation. 

I was expecting child number three and was an easy target for CPS

After we got homeless and the 2 oldest were living with their grandmother from fathers side until I would find a house again, we moved to a horrible house. We had no choice, it was either this or no house at all. I found out I was pregnant, this time I did not even notice anything (it was my 3rd child) and I did not have a big belly or something. I discovered this after 19 weeks of pregancy, due to all the stress in the previous months I had no clue. I knew this house was not a place to raise even one kid, so I firmly said to myself, found a house, get things done. Because if you won't, they will try to take this baby too. Because if you are allready in the CPS system you simply are an easy target for these "so called" Child Protectors. 

I worked my ass of finding houses, replyed on them and we got many visitations to houses in other areas. It seemed to be working out. Of course we also got an investigation from child protective services, like I expected. This was actually the first person that took us seriously, and blew away all the negative things the social worker on the case of the 2 oldest kids had brought up. She actually said in other words and in 15 pages of the document when closing the case: "These 2 parents have done everything right, are working hard to get to a better place, and none of the accusations in the report are valid" . You would think this would finally change the way they treated us, right? Well, it didn't but it made sure that they did not put a social worker on the case of our unborn daughter, and she was legally ours, without interferance of those animals. (Sorry but they gave my ex the space to ruin our lives back then, and the ones I had to deal with are animals in my opinion)

A little while after the case was closed, our baby was born in the hospital and eventhough I was in severe pain missing my oldest 2 kids, that they could not be a part of their little sister being born, I was so happy with her birth. My boyfriend was such a proud daddy, it was his first own child, but he had been like a real father to my 2 oldest for a few years too. Eventhough they were leaving us at peace with our newborn, things constantly kept feeling scary, because I knew the father of the oldest two kids would keep trying to get me in trouble with the newborn. I knew it would be only a matter of time before I would be investigated again... I knew his powerful connections, and I found it hard to let go the fear. 

We allready found out what was in the vaccines, and my boyfriend spoke out against it right away

But I was too scared in our situation not to get her shots, because I knew this would raise red flags, and they would instantly report us to CPS for not giving her shots. So I decided (eventhough I was against it by then) to get the first shot. She was very sick afterwards, and it broke my heart that I was too scared to say no, but I knew we were getting a "get out of jail for free" card with the positive closure of the investigation, and we had to make sure we were out of their hands first. We were planning leaving Holland, not knowing what would happen, but my gut feeling screamed arrange this first, because when they decide to interfere you won't be allowed to leave the country!

In the meanwhile I was making arrangements, trying to leave Holland, and after she got her second shot I succeeded. We found a volenteering adress in Spain where we would get a room and food in trade for working, and we were welcome with our baby. But we succeeded to find more adresses afterwards, and stayed doing this for 3,5 months before I found a job in Spain! In the meanwhile they were trying to contact us about her shots, and I was so scared to let them know we weren't coming back. But we had to eventually. After this message I also recieved an email from the worker on our investigation that started with: "I don't know if I CAN and WANT to do something about this" (leaving Holland with the baby) This kind of scared the crab out of me, actually.. I was so scared she would (and could) really do something. I answered back then with a short mail about what we were doing, and that I found a job there, and our changes were better in Spain than in Holland (without a job and all the pain and trouble with my ex). After I forgot to send her more, and I never heard from her again..

In Spain it was a hassle to arrange documents for my daughter and boyfriend

For me it was easy getting a health insurance arranged due to my work, but for my daughter (because she has my boyfriends name and we are not married) it was a different story. In Spain they don't see you as a couple sometimes if you are not married. And after a long struggle I decided to leave it there, because as a child they would help her anyways when she would need healthcare. My boyfriend was also getting help through his European Health Insurance Card from Holland, so we left it like that. Because they made it kind of impossible for us to get it arranged. This meant, that the also left us alone and nobody bothered us about the vaccinations that she hadn't had.

And 14 months after coming to Spain, and living there, my boyfriend was offered a job in Hungary. A job that suits him well, and he would finally be able to use his skillset again. So we decided to leave Spain. Now we are here some months, and here it is the same hassle as in Spain with most things. It takes a lot of patience and time to get things done. After coming here in September 2017 we now finally will be moving in to our long term appartment in a week! And after this we can finally arrange health insurance for me and the little one. Because in this case it is the opposite way, my boyfriend is insured via his work, and we can get help trough the European Health Insurance Card until it expires (mine wil expire in a few months). 

Our daughter is almost turning 2 now, and we are talking about when she will be going to school

I knew before moving here, through some other mother online that Hungary also says a child needs the vaccinations to go to school. I didn't let this stop us from moving over here, because it is becoming a world wide problem. And children are taken from their parents due to not vaccinating them, or even questioning this. Can you imaging? You question something to be the right decision for your child, and this is a reason to abduct your child.. I am very cautious about this vaccination thing. I don't want to wake up sleeping dogs, and get ourselves in trouble! But I also don't want to just be a sheep again and give her the shots.

Today I was shocked to hear from a mother that here in Hungary children get their shots during schooltime, without the parents even being there. This scared me, I really don't want this to happen to our youngest. Can you imagine, that she is not mastering the Hungarian language yet, and they take here to a doctor that can't explain to her what is about to happen, and she will be traumatised for life due to their lack of caring. I don't want this, period! 

So what are my options? How to handle this?

I would like to get in contact with people that can advise me in this situation, while I still have time to handle it. She is at home with me now, and nobody is bothering us about it. I thought about the possibility to home-school her, because we are planning not to stay here forever, but moving in a few years again. As we want to see the world, and we are all pro for grabbing every good opportunity that comes to our path. So maybe this would be an option, but I still have to dive into the laws here in Hungary for this. I don't know if I'm allowed to do this. I have a good set of brains, so I know that if we choose this option, I will figure out a way to be a good teacher for her. I would be so happy if I crossed paths with other expat-mothers in Hungary that think the same, maybe we can help eachother out ... 

For those who are pro-vaccinations, please keep in mind that I respect everybody's choice. I will never disrespect another mother for vaccinating her child, because first of all I gave them to my oldest 2 kids also. But I would like everybody to get aware about the dangours in vaccinations, and maybe you could do your own research about it. Please stay respectfull to people that (for whatever reason) don't vaccinate. Don't judge a book by its cover without knowing the story behind it, please. 

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AnoukNox