Some very useful tips for when you have to deal with CPS, lessons I learned the hard way.. (P1-Documentation)

My boyfriend told me from the beginning, that I should document everything that happened, and make sure I could find back the evidence I collected. I did for a while, but when things seemed to calm down, I forgot to do this more often. I kept every recording, mail, text etc but I forgot to organise this, so when I needed to collect everything it was days work even finding it. I know how hard it can be going through all the evidence, as it throws you back in that moment reading/listening it, so my first tip is:

1.1 E-mail: Save every e-mail on your computer / USB stick / harddisk (If possible make copies)

This tip is about every person that you have e-mail contact with about your children like your ex-partner, social worker, government agencies, psychologists, school, pediatrician, caseworker, lawyer (you name it)! Some persons may seem trustworthy in the beginning, and willing to help you, therefore you may not think about needing those e-mails later on, but trust me when I say that you may need more of those documents than you think at first. Don't ever trust any person connected to your case by their pretty blue eyes when they say they have the best interests for you and your kids. Please, keep this in mind, always! Better safe than sorry.. 

As soon as you recieve an e-mail, download this email on your computer, name this file including the sender and date with the subject in the name so you can easily find it back afterwards. You can divide the emails by person, month, year the way you think it will be easiest for yourself. 

Do the same for the emails you sent yourself, that have important information in it, regarding agreements, or everything about your case. Don't forget that it's better to save some e-mails that you may never have to use, than finding out afterwards you don't exactly remember what was said how and when. I recomment (especially in the beginning of your contact with CPS) to save all e-mail traffic back and forward.

Please don't think like I did, I will do this later it will be fine. Because you will forget it, or if (like in my case) you get hacked and you can't acces the account anymore, you don't have the proof you may need in the future. I had this problem several times myself, and it's really frustrating. Because then it is your word against theirs. 

Be aware that you will probably be dealing with another caseworker in a few months (at least that's how they work in Holland) and they will make mistakes during transfering the case to the new person. You want to have the things discussed with the former caseworker as evidence if needed. And always keep in mind that even when you do find a good caseworker from CPS or any other involved agency, that the chances are higher you will get a not so willing to help person next time. I know an examples of a case dealing with 22 caseworkers from CPS due to foster care, and only 2 of them were dealing in the best interest of the children, they were also the ones that quickly stopped working for CPS because they could not deal with the corruption. 

This is not to scare you, but I want to warn you for this, because I learned the hard way. I put my trust in those people for too long, and by the time I understood what they were doing I allready was too far in to get things turned around. Please please please take me as an example I can tell you at least 100 examples where I should have, could have, would have, but I didn't... And always listen to your gut feeling to be extra alert!

1.2 Whatsapp / Viber / Text messages (or any other sort of application)

Nowadays it is likely that you have contact with the other parent, family members, social workers etc via any kind of application by telephone. But many people forget to make backups. Teach yourself, that whenever there is a conversation with any of the people connected to your childrens case, you make printscreens or a copy of this. I prefer printscreens and to put them with other corresponding files on the computer. But you can do this any way you like. Remember that when you have to search for it, and you don't know when the conversation took place, it is more difficult to find back. And scrolling back and forward is not a nice task. If you remind yourself to make a copy/printscreen/backup every time ther is a conversation about it, and you name the file correctly including date and name of the other person, it will save you so much stress.

1.3 Telephonecalls (Record them!)

Because my ex had a hand of it to make agreements (and not follow them up) or started fights by phone, I decided to start recording this. You can easily find recording applications in the Play store of your phone that can record your calls. Please test them before you use them for important calls that may serve as evidence later on, because I one time had installed an application that I didn't check, and my ex could hear beeps during the call. That's alarming. I know you can't use this call as evidence normally, but the police officer that put together a big stalking case after years, took them as evidence anyway because when it gets out of hand, they will listen to them. But even if it is not used in your case as evidence, it is good for yourself to know what was said, because otherwise you will forget things, and the context things were said in.

File them on your computer/usb stick etc with name and date and person that you were speaking with. Make a same notepad document next to this file (with the exact same name as the recording) In this notepad you can put the time when something important is said and behind this the name of the person speaking, with the written text that was spoken in the call. This way when you hand over evidence it can be read first, and they know on what exact moment what is said. This also makes it so much easier for yourself, because you can find things back without having to listen to the whole recordings.

1.4 Appointments with CPS, caseworkers, therapist, schools etc (Record them!)

Yes, I know most of the times you will need to tell them you do this, but I know they will not give permission. But I also know how emotional things can get in appointments for example with CPS if it's about your children, especially when they seem to work against you instead of with you. This gets frustrating, and you may get emotional. Especially when the demand you to come alone (forbidden, but they forced me to leave my boyfriend outside!) and you have no back up person that can confirm things been said. While they make sure many times there are 2 persons from CPS at once, so that they can confirm eachothers story. Always, always, I repeat ALWAYS record this with your telephone. Don't ask permission, if you do and they refuse it will be difficult. You don't have to use this against them, but I found it very frustrating that I forgot half of the things said because my emotions got the best out of me. Do the same thing as described above with telephone calls. Listen them afterwards, and write it out in a text file. Save it with the recording on your computer.

Extra tip: Tell them you would like a report by email from them afterwards to confirm what was discussed, and make your own report also. So if things don't seem the same, you can immediately let them know you don't agree with what is written in the report. This is a part I didn't do and afterwards I could kick myself to the head for not doing this. Because when I asked for the whole case on paper to see what was said, many things were not as agreed or like we discussed. It sometimes only takes a scentence with a little off-tone in the writing for the next person that reads it to be blown out of proportions. Many of them are bad listeners, trust me.. It is a bit of work, but it will save so much work later on, and especially stress. 

1.5 Pictures / Video's that can be of any help in your case

Make copies of them and file them with all the rest of the documents including time/date/info. Don't let them wander in your telephone between 2000 other pictures, it may get lost or something. 

1.6 Get all your documents about your children's case in order

I understand this is not a thing you enjoy doing, especially dealing with bad people, when you fear them or they don't seem to listen to your side... But if you order things from the beginning it will be a routine, and it will be just like putting your groceries in the kitchen after you went to the supermarket. If you think some things will be needed in court for your lawyer or to defend your case, print them as soon as you can. It also is good to let them see at appointments that you come with a big pile of documents, all in order, numbered etc. They may back of a bit, because they actually SEE you have something against them. I always SAID it, and then they didn't want to see/listen/read the evidence so they thought I was just talking bullshit. 

1.7 Make photocopies of police reports 

When you had to go to the police to fill a report, you get this home printed on paper. Always make a picture of this and also save this on your computer, because it may get lost or something can happen to the paper, and then you don't have this report anymore. When going to the police multiple times, you may forget the timeline of when things happened, and they may question your story if the numbers don't add up. So be sure you can always find these reports back when needed.

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This was my first post with tips that can help you a lot if you are in a battle for your children. I will make more of these posts with other tips. Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way to do these things above, I thought if a person said they were helping me, they were. But they actually showed true colors after a while, and I was not prepared then. 

I hope to inspire some persons to follow up these tips, so you will have less stress about this part of the case, and you may have more time to enjoy the children if they are still with you. 

If you think this post was helpful, upvoting and resteeming is very much appreciated!

AnoukNox