Chlorophyll Is Thicker Than Water

For some abnormal reason, I really like this contest @derangedvisions. Typically I excuse myself from the room when all of you get to talking about family. Conversations of such substance just means we have zero in common. But I didn’t leave the room this time, hence the “for some abnormal reason” line I opened with. I’ve learned by removing myself from these discussions I also remove my instinctual reaction to become angry and judgmental. Before I forget - Thank you for Resteeming this contest mrs. @foxyspirit, otherwise I would have missed it.

This one begins on Labor Day weekend. It’s the year of the Zodiac Rabbit, according to Chinese astrology, 4:58 ante meridian. A single woman, three weeks shy of her 20th birthday, barely recognizable through her broken nose, two black eyes, fractured skull and missing front teeth just gave birth - It’s a boy! Welcome: @dandays. “Well this sure is a weird start!”

The man I’ve never met was adamant about deleting my arrival. My mother was made aware of this shortly after learning she was pregnant with me and consequently chose to live in hiding for the next nine months. According to both of my uncles, that man found my mother the night before she had me. The story I was told is they got to him just a few minutes after he found her. I guess he didn’t have time to finish what he started. He and my mother were both admitted to the same hospital that night, each with similar injuries. My arrival was scheduled in just a few more hours and that’s the closest I’ve ever been to the piece of sh... (That’s what I meant by the angry/judgy thing)

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One was enough for her. Maybe it was the nine months leading up to that night, I don’t know. I never really heard anything about life prior to my conception, maybe that’s why she decided one child was enough? I know the night she had me must have been terrifying, something I never thought to talk to her about, but for whatever reason, she stopped having children after me. God bless her!

The man I never met got me on the phone one time back in 2008. He managed to conspire with a couple of people and after a group effort was conducted, I was ear to ear with him on the phone. I’m certain that conversation haunts him. But he did manage to get me the message he so desperately wanted me to receive. He told me about another son he had 10 years after me, Shon. This is a good time to delete that man from this story.

My mother arranged a meeting between Shon and I a couple of months later. He’s big, huge! And I thought I was big. That blood relative of mine is 6 foot 6 inches tall and ten years ago, when I met him, he weighed 215 pounds. He’s the biggest junky I’ve ever seen! Yeah he’s a junky, heroin, poor soul. That’s the only time I met him. We hung out for about 4 hours but he is in a world of trouble battling his demons. His dad ruined him. I tried keeping in touch with him but it wasn’t possible. That was a one time deal, I haven’t heard of or from him since. I just continue to pray for him.

My mother was the youngest of five children; two brothers and two sisters. The five of them had the coolest parents in the world - My grandparents! They were perfect:

World’s greatest grandparents

What happened to their five kids is still in the jury’s hands, as far as I know, they’re each just as twisted as the other. The only reason I say “as far as I know” is because I never really got to know my mothers middle sister. I would see her on an occasional Christmas when I was a kid but that was the extent of our interactions. She has two kids - I don’t know anything about them. My mothers older sister, oh man! My own personal judge. She and my uncle have three kids - They don’t know anything about me.

Both of my uncles were consistent figures in my life. The oldest of the five left a little over two years ago and the second brother just left last year. Both of those guys welcomed me with huge arms and loved me every day of their lives. They never acted like my aunt. Had you met them, along with my aunt, you would never guess they’re related. God bless both of you Hells Angels, I miss you all the time!

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I don’t have any pictures of my uncles

My mother isn’t here anymore. She got a headache back in 2013 and never woke up. 13 has been a particularly favorite number of mine ever since. I dedicated an entire post to her not too long ago. Click right here if you’d like to get to know a little bit about the coolest mom ever:

Sheila Jo

Alright, so why does this parentless, no sibling having, childless person call himself ‘the luckiest guy I know?’ Easy! Because I’m the luckiest guy I know.

Every single thing that has happened in my life had to happen exactly the way it did in order for me to be living in this moment right now. I am blessed and I’m thankful for everything I do and do not have. Where am I now? I’m surrounded by the coolest friends in the world. I’ll get to them in a minute, first is my wife! Oh my goodness gracious, God gave me a 10!

I thought I had the ultimate fantasy girl all figured out - On paper, of course. I was single for most of my life because I couldn’t find her, I assumed I had checked too many boxes. Then I finally found her a couple of years ago and to my surprise were a lot more checked boxes. Boxes I didn’t even realize existed!

If you want to see my wife smile, simple, just make me smile. My happiness is what makes her happy. She laughs at all of my jokes and I suck at telling jokes! I told you guys about my dirt bike injuries awhile back but what I didn’t tell you is my wife has magical hands. She rubs my bad wheel every.single.day. She’s the first one to hold me up when my cerebellum does its chiari malformation thing and attempts to render me unconscious. She’s my non-colorblind eyes when I want to draw in color. Her shoulder is my cane when I can’t walk. She tells me: You’re handsome, you’re smart, you’re charismatic and then goes into detail the definition of charisma. Oh, and she’s gorgeous!!

See what I mean?! I’m the luckiest guy I know. I heart you all the time @puravidaville. Thank you for hearting me back.

But that isn’t the ending. My wife is the beginning, my friends - I have the best friends in the world. A person who doesn’t have blood relatives has an advantage over everyone who does. The person who does not have gets to hand pick their family and bypass the setbacks and disappointments that only family members are capable of executing.

My brothers, figuratively, Jaru and Zuck are brothers. We’ve lived together as children and as adults, we grew up together, we call each other cousins to bypass the long, detailed event that led to the three of us meeting nearly 40 years ago. They’re only a phone call away, I can count on them answering the phone every.single.time I make it ring. I don’t know many people with brothers like that.

My friend Jearcy is well aware of my T-word woes and opened a bank account for me, in her name, several years back. I operated daily spending, bills, rent, etc. out of that account for more than five years. She would sign all of the checks in the checkbook for me and I would use them to feed the mailman. I don’t know many people with friends like that.

Another buddy of mine, tone, towed his RV clear across the state of California for me one time just because he wasn’t using it. And he didn’t even have time to hang out when he dropped it, his now wife’s grandfather had recently passed away and he had to get back to the memorial. I wanted to take him and his wife out to dinner, at the very least, but they didn’t even have time to get out of the truck, they had to make the eight hour drive back home before sunrise. I sent him money every month and he never cashed a single check. I don’t know many people with family like that.

My friend J-J-J cancelled his Memorial Day plans the year I had to empty my mothers house. He hitched a ride to the hospital she died in, too, several hours away in another state, without me knowing. He just ‘showed up’ with two other friends of mine who just ‘showed up’ - That’s just what my friends do. And then the four of us stayed at another friend of mines house, Dela P. He happened to live near that hospital which was in a different state. He only purchased the house a few weeks prior. He not only opened the door to me and three strangers, he gave each of us keys, he also went and purchased a brand new bed for me to sleep on. I don’t know many people with roommates like that.

The chef, my buddy @chefcory. Talk about a cool dude! I’m glad I met his niece, it would’ve sucked not knowing this guy. He’s the first person to travel by plane to come get one last visit with me before I hop a couple of borders. The last thing he said to me is “I just updated my passport!” I don’t know many 5-Star chefs that’ll do that.

There’s the friend who taught me how to go to work every day, man that was a big one! I really had a tough time comprehending that one. He’s @carklevicci actually, last I heard, he cut off his Steemit account. Most of my friends don’t make such drastic mistakes but hey, he taught me how to go to work! He and my grandmother got along really well too. I don’t know
many mentors that do that.

I could do this for a long time! To all of my friends who do not get mentioned here, you know you make this world turn, don’t take it personal. Last one:

Joddy, hey this guy right here is that one friend that everybody needs. And if you don’t have a friend like him, you wish you did. This dude didn’t tell me any of the typical ‘I’m sorry’ when my mom left. He cornered me and said “I’ll handle your services for you. Write it all down, whatever you want, I’ll make sure you’re given a proper service, nobody else is around now to do that for you, I will.” I don’t know anyone who’s had a family member or blood relative express such deep concern.

I’m sure a lot of you reading this have five friends you can count on that’ll fly around the world right now, should you make ‘that’ call.
You can count on one hand the friends that will fly first and ask questions later. I’m sure I’m not the only one. I just rattled off 11 and I feel horrible for the 20 I left out! Plus everyone brings their five, plus their five, plus their five and the branches extend farther than I can see. Farther than I’ll ever know. My family tree is perfect - I wouldn’t change a single leaf.

Thank you for creating this challenge @derangedvisions, as soon as I saw it I dropped what I was doing to compete. I enjoyed it! And good call on @curie as a witness, too!

Click Here if you missed Monday: