Create security with rituals and strengthen the family community

Especially smaller children love repetitions. Knowing what is coming and what awaits them gives them a familiar feeling and security. Self-confidence can grow from this knowledge, helping children cope better with times and situations in which they are uncertain.

What are rituals?

Rituals have existed since ancient times and in all cultures. These are familiar, repetitive processes that follow a particular form and a group of people. Who has determined the form of the ritual is not relevant. However, it is important that the ritual is known to all and repeated in certain situations.

Adults will associate rituals primarily with the church or official occasions. But when you think of your childhood, you may well find memories of recurring events that you may have been looking forward to: the Christmas tree that was decorated together, birthday celebrations with cake your mother baked, the ample breakfast on sunday with the whole family or TV evening on saturday with mom, dad and "Wetten Dass". Would not it be nice if you could also bring such memories to your children?

What makes a ritual?

For an action to become a ritual, the following points are important:

• There is a fixed process that is subject to certain rules.

• This process is always repeated in certain situations.

• The process is known and familiar to all participants.

All participants stick to it. Exceptions to the rule are emphasized or the procedure is deliberately changed by the participants.

The goal is for children to get hold of their exciting lives through rituals and familiarity with them, according to the motto: "The world around me is changing, but the ritual remains." This awareness of having something lasting in their lives gives children support and security. With the certainty that they know what is going on at home, children gain security and self-confidence, which helps them to cope better with crises. The sense of community between those who know the ritual and work together is strengthened. By the way, learning the ritual also trains children's thinking and concentration. In addition, they learn to accept rules.

Structure the day with rituals

From their own childhood, adults will first and foremost remember rituals on special occasions such as Christmas, New Year's Eve or their own birthday. These rituals are important in order to anchor the specialness of these events in the consciousness of a child. Even more important, however, are rituals that familiarize children (and parents) with daily routines and thus structure the day.

Probably the most common is the bedtime ritual, which helps children to relax and go to bed. If the procedures are always the same, children will learn it and after a while they will be able to do it on their own. Then, when their teeth are brushed and their pajamas put on, they are ready for the bedtime story that parents read to them.

Daily rituals can also be a fixed routine for getting up and eating together, or a special ritual for rest or tidying up. Important for the relationship between you and your children can also be their own rituals when saying goodbye or greeting. This gives your children the certainty that everything is as it should be and daddy comes back. Especially with families, in which the father travels a lot for work, such rituals are helpful.

What these rituals ultimately look like is up to you. Above all, it is important that they always run the same way. Exceptions - for example, if a child does not have to go to bed right after the sandman because the grandma is there - it should be emphasized.

Rituals can be changed and developed. However, you should always be aware of what they are for your child - a familiar process that will give your children security and life structure and, moreover, make your family more closely connected.

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