DAD-Chronicals : The first date - When children make an appointment to play
The first date - When children make an appointment to play
The first childhood friendships develop on the playground or in kindergarten. At some point then comes the desire for the "first date", a Spielverabredung at one of the children at home. The visit of friends is a new step in the development of a child and everyone involved should slowly grope here.
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The first appointment of your child with a friend from kindergarten is a step towards a new self-employment. It should not be exaggerated, however. Depending on the mentality and age of the child, it may be useful if mom or dad are on the first visit outside the house.
Home visit with parents
The first game dates are a sign of the breaking off of the parents. Nevertheless, at least during the first visits usually one parent is present. With mom or dad in the background, the child quickly takes courage and usually goes with the playmate on the nursery. Who visits whom first, you should leave to the children. Shy and reserved children usually prefer to visit for themselves before venturing into new terrain. If the children can not agree, then it is time to step in and find a solution together. For the very first visit, a time should be chosen for which both children are fit. Most of the time is after the afternoon nap or in the morning low.
During the visit, parents should be as restrained as possible. After all, the children are dating each other. With a little luck, the parents can smell and spend a nice afternoon having coffee and talking while the little ones play with each other. The first visit should not take too long, especially with younger children. Two hours are enough. You should go before the children are whining and over-stimulated. It is helpful from the beginning to make clear arrangements and insist on a speedy farewell. Otherwise your child will try to extend the visit time by begging every time.
The first time alone
If the time when the presence of the parents is no longer needed or even not desired, it also needs new arrangements. A clear appointment should be made with the parents of the visiting child about the end of the visit, furthermore, all parents should be reachable by phone. For smaller children, too, a visit of two hours is sufficient. Toddlers usually can not concentrate for a long time anyway and then usually need attention by an adult - preferably by the parent. After the visit, we recommend a short conversation with the host parents. How did the visiting kid behave? Did it make a relaxed and happy impression? These and other questions should be clarified.
May I stay overnight?
From the age of six, sometimes even earlier, the little ones want more. The first night is on. Most of the time, your child will already know the host parents before they can do so. Talk to the parents here and inform them about the specifics of your child. Does it have to be reminded at night of the corridor to the toilet or needs a very special sleep ritual, then you must communicate with it necessarily. Especially for the overnight visit: Stay in touch and be prepared that you may have to pick up your child in the middle of the night.
If children are planning an overnight stay, all adults should agree, especially for the host parents. You yourself should consider carefully whether you trust the parents to look after your child and feel comfortable with the situation. If in doubt, if your child is in good hands, then simply move the overnight visit to your home.
No matter where the match date or the overnight visit takes place, there are certain rules. So the guest children should be informed of any dangers in the house. Even clear rules of conduct may and should be set up from the beginning. This is how the child immediately learns that you as a guest are guided by the prevailing rules. You should, however, formulate the regulations as short as possible, because especially small children can not remember too much.
However, it is also important that these new experiences should be positive for your child if possible. Do your part - make sure that your overnight guest feels welcome, and, for example, serve up a children's favorite meal and read a little longer than you normally would. Your child will appreciate it.
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