DAD-Chronicals : The fatherly education - better, worse or just different?
The fatherly education - better, worse or just different?
It's amazing how little the wise researchers have so far brought to light about the importance of the father in favor of his child's development. Although the myth that mothers are more important than fathers, the scientific basis has long been withdrawn, but he persists stubbornly in the mind. For a long time even science assumed that the male parent only needed to be guided by the behavior of the mother, then everything would be "in butter". An absolute nonsense, as we all know today.
From the beginning on the spot
There are several studies that show that as many as 65 percent of expectant firstfathers experience the same gestational symptoms as their better half. For example, headaches, mood swings, and dubious eating behaviors are such signs. And no matter what we think about this number, it impressively shows that many men are plagued by the same emotions or fears during pregnancy as their wives.
Many fathers are present at the birth of their child these days - another indication that they want to be on the ball right from the beginning and take their role as father seriously. About 90 percent are currently cutting the umbilical cord of their offspring themselves. Ascending trend.
Strong fathers
But what is it exactly what the fathers can do better? Or is this question completely wrong? Should there be a subdivision into "better" or "worse"? The main goal of all parents should be to complement each other and not to outdo (unconsciously). Maybe it makes more sense to talk about the strengths and weaknesses of parents. Ultimately, it's all a question of definition. Nevertheless, we prefer to talk about the strengths of the fathers.
It is hardly surprising that most fathers act a little wilder and more physical with their offspring. Numerous studies prove this. They play more challenging and can come up with surprising game variants again and again. For the benefit of the child. Because even the youngest learn to cope quickly and well in unexpected situations and to find imaginative solutions. Above all, it is the fathers who create new games and usually use more themselves than any toy. They play more stimulating and often more exhausting.
In a two-and-a-half-year research paper, two-thirds of children favored their father as playmates. Perhaps children of this age intuitively feel how important this type of support is for their development. So it is not surprising that there is a growing scientific assertion that fathers are even more important than mothers in educating their children in some phases of their development.
It is seen as a secure realization that fathers use the free time with their children more for motor activities. Various ball games, running, swimming, throwing and much, much more - the paternal entertainment palette is wide-ranging and almost inexhaustible.And overall, the paternal share of the educational work seems more exciting than that of the mother. While the feminine part focuses on more everyday and calmer things, the dad's more adventurous contribution comes from it.
Many fathers also believe their offspring more. Raising a child on a bicycle after it has fallen, encouraging them to climb trees or take their first swim, just to name a few examples. Risk-taking and self-reliance of the children are thereby highly promoted. Mothers are usually a bit timid in this regard.
Sons and daughters
In many cases it is the mothers who treat their sons and daughters in a relatively similar way. With fathers, a more gender-specific approach was often observed.
For example, boys are usually much more demanded and disciplined by their father, whereas girls are more positively confirmed by them in their characteristic female role. Many fathers allow more emotionality and closeness in their dealings with their daughters than in contact with their male offspring.
In contrast, mothers are often the better communication partners for confidential matters. The fathers are allowed by young children less often insight into their innermost world of thought. In many cases, the fathers appear a little more detached and sometimes less empathetic. But that also leads to less controversy than with the mother. At least tend to be seen.
However, several surveys have shown that fathers, like mothers, are capable of giving children not only physical but also necessary psychological closeness.
Better, worse or just different?
Today, it is considered a secure realization that there is no more important or unimportant parent. Both parents are equally important for the child development. And even if children do not often see one of the parents, through work or separation, the education of one must not be less valuable.
The only thing that matters is that you bring your strengths into the family as well as possible and work a little bit on the weaknesses. And if both parents take this to heart, not only will they benefit, but children will benefit first and foremost. And that's the point. That's why we became or want to become parents.
Fathers bring their own abilities and approaches to child education. They demand and promote their children differently than the mothers. Not better, not worse - just different! In fathers' research, too, there is an increasing realization that the influence of the father on the child is greater if his behavior in education differs from that of his partner.
And for those who would like to cling to the terms "better" or "worse" of our initial question, let's just put the following on the path:
"Better" is the one who has understood why children in certain situations are the way they are. And above all, to cope with it without manipulative measures.
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