Mental Health - "I am stronger now...because I talked about it"

in busy •  last year  (edited)

This following motivational, life coach type message, really resonated with me yesterday.
It's from a conversation I had with my new found friend @meno
https://steemit.com/@meno

'Regardless of our understanding of pride
let's pose the hardest of questions?
let's say, that you spend the rest of your life
protecting it,
making sure that you never disappoint yourself,
that you stick to your guns, and never show weakness!

Lets imagine you do that...
.....

When the time comes... when it's over
when you had to eat emotional shit with a silver spoon
to play that game, and you are getting ready to say bye to this world,
Who brings the trophy?

Who says... hey Mr Bloom.. here you go mate... good job
your ego/pride was intact your whole life,
in the 2 minutes you got left to bask in the knowledge, you earned it.

Spoiler! no one... no one does...
Not even you!
The most liberating thing we can do my friend, is let all that go.
We only get one shot... let's have fun and laugh as much as we can.

Wise words from a very good human being!
Author - @meno

And my other music mate @Krystle for her input.
https://steemit.com/@krystle

The biggest issues with mental health, is knowing there is a problem but not knowing what to do or where to focus your energies - mental health is hard for some people to talk about, so thank you for stepping up and sharing your personal experiences with us.
I have found with my own struggles, it really works best for me to do what you did, focus on family and the things worth fighting for - they are the reason to wade through all the shit and find a way to make ourselves feel whole again, it can take time, but with support like you obviously had from your partner it can be done.
You can come out the other side, and having that knowledge is power! knowing there can be an end to the internal struggle and sadness - once you have that, you're really on the way, even if it happens again, you now know what you need.

Thanks also to my musical mate @Krystle for her superb input!

'The biggest issues with mental health is, knowing there is a problem, but not knowing what to do or where to focus your energies - mental health is hard for some people to talk about so thank you for stepping up and sharing your personal experiences with us.
I have found with my own struggles, it really works best for me to do what you did, focus on family the things worth fighting for - they are the reason to wade through all the shit and find a way to make ourselves feel whole again, it can take time but with support like you obviously had from your partner.
You can come out the other side and having that knowledge is power, knowing there can be an end to the internal struggle and sadness - once you have that, you're really on the way, even if it happens again, you'll now know what you need.
Author - @krystle


During March-April of 2013, I wrote my first 5 track EP 'Never Grow Old' which was due for general release later that year. The songs almost wrote themselves and sprung out of me like an emotional whirlwind of emotive feelings and memories of past events. It was a year that saw me play over 50 gigs, various folk festivals and a few radio shows here in England, to promote the pending release of this physical and digital CD. It never really made it further than the few hundred people who bought it at one of those gigs. They were mostly signed copies, so I really hope they're worth something one day....


image.png
Derby Folk festival - October 2013 -


The next part of this story is quite sad, But I feel very passionate about 'Mental Health' issues and just want to try and put an end to this overly 'Taboo' subject of Anxiety, depression and mental health that so many of us struggle with, and try to hide or act like 'Nothing is wrong' the tears of a clown syndrome, as I like to call it. I can only speak from experience and share my thoughts on the matter, and hope that I can reach out and help some of you reading this right now.

I'm lucky that I have music to channel my energy and a loving and supportive family that understand my little quirks and triggers. I'm a very lucky man in that respect but, I fear others are not so lucky , but I want them to realise that, THERE IS always someone willing to listen...Be it 'The Samaritans', Your neighbour, a Teacher, Friend or total stranger... Just talk to someone and don't feel ashamed of how YOU are feeling.


Samaritans.JPG


Contact The Samaritans - https://www.samaritans.org/ - UK
Contact The Samaritans - http://samaritansusa.org/ - USA

It sadly culminated in my huge breakdown that November. A feeling of utter disappointment that I hadn't hit the 'Big Time' came crashing down around me, teamed with huge anxiety and fear of never achieving my musical dreams and goals!
However, intertwined within all of this chaotic unchartered territory that I was experiencing, came an extremely beautiful and positive moment in my life. A few weeks before, at the end of October, our beautiful daughter was born (second child) which I swear, kept me strong and saved me from completely sinking into oblivion! My son was only 4 years old at the time, and didn't really understand why 'Daddy was so sad' Thank goodness....I'll explain to him one day when he's old enough to understand, and I'll also let him know how much he helped me to realise how fortunate I really was to have him, his sister and mum.

We can analyse the causes of our mental health issues until the cows come home, but we just need to accept them for what they are, random and sometimes completely Irrational thoughts.


image.png


Source - https://me.me/i/the-best-seven-doctors-stuff-1-sunshine-2-air-3-10495328

I had failed my family somehow, maybe it was the aftermath of such an amazing summer?, or the fact that I had finally addressed a lot of heart ache and bad feeling towards certain people?, or maybe, just maybe, some self realisation that I had messed up so many things in my past relationships, with my Ex girlfriend and estranged mother.
When I say 'Messed Up' what I really mean is, letting THEM control MY feelings towards THEM and strive to make them happy or accept me for who I am! but you know what? we should never let anyone dictate to us in this way, force us to accept their love, time and energy or indeed , control how 'they want us to be.


image.png


Source - http://www.lovethispic.com/image/161159/i-am-happy-to-be-me...

By the following April I had undertaken Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Counselling sessions to alleviate those anxious feelings, thoughts of being a failure or third rate citizen, and it REALLY helped...
Months and a few years ticked by and I slowly managed to drag my self away from that mind-set, with the help of my now partner and close family members! It's been a bumpy ride full of tears and laughter, but now, mainly laughter and happiness.


family.JPG


My Family
The Rocks - The Ones That Hold Me Up
-

You can hear 2 tracks from the EP here on Dsound:
Stay tuned for the next track which I'll be posting soon...

'Never Grow Old' - https://dsound.audio/#!/@mrbloom/20180225t213501250z-never-grow-old-original-music-by-darren-claxton-aka-mrbloom

'Was It Right' - https://dsound.audio/#!/@mrbloom/20180222t100741110z-was-it-right

Thanks for taking the time to read this short post and for listening to the songs.
Stay safe and remember, someone is always listening.
Much love
@mr bloom - aka - Darren



This is the smile I try to wear now! Not the fake one I used to know, wear yours with pride too -

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The biggest issues with mental health is knowing, there is a problem but not knowing what to do or where to focus your energies - mental health is hard for some people to talk about so thank you for stepping up and sharing your personal experiences with us.

I have found with my own struggles it really works best for me to do what you did, focus on family the things worth fighting for - they are the reason to wade through all the shit and find a way to make ourselves feel whole again, it can take time but with support like you obviously had from your partner.

You can come out the other side and having that knowledge is power, knowing there can be an end to the internal struggle and sadness - once you have that your really on the way, even if it happens again you now know what you need. <3

·
  ·  last year (edited)

Absolutely spot on @Krystle
I will embed this comment and credit you as #author into my post, as I feel it has lot's of worth and weight on the subject.
Thanks for being an absolute soldier and wading through the quagmire of shit to get where you're at today!
Much love
Darren

Huge respect for writing such an open and honest post. With platforms such as these, I think it's more important than ever to discuss these matters openly and support each other. They provide some fantastic opportunities but also can really damage your sense of worth and value when you see ´BarbieGirl17's´ photo of her lunch worth $150 and the track that you've spent many, many hours on and poured your soul in to is worth 5c. I worry that this may push some folks too far. We need to watch out for this and get ready to catch them.

·
  ·  last year (edited)

Hey @gjart I certainly did spend quite a few hours pouring my heart out and openly shared my experiences...But how do we value worth? with $100 , $150 or $1.17 like this post has...it's annoying but kind of irrelevant.
What really matters is that people share and talk and open up to one another to help with their mental health issues, just like we are doing now.
Thanks for reading and supporting the cause, it's very much appreciated!
PS. The post you mention ABSOLUTLEY GRINDS MY GEARS AND MESLTS MY CHEES!! it's actually ridiculous, a mockery and worthless to this community and maybe we need to be more proactive in flagging and down-voting such crappy content!
There's nothing we can really do but to ignore it I fear.
Hey, but that's just my opinion and perhaps for a discussion another time! LOL...
Kindest
@mrbloom

Thanks for sharing! I also had a lot relief starting to talk about my mental health issues and people actually told me that my courage to talk about has made them seek help!

·

It feels great to finally release it all doesn't it?
Just keep writing those great songs man!
Cheers

Bravo for working through the hard times! It is not easy, this I know all too well. You have your music and the love of your family. There is nothing more important than those things, especially if you top it off with good health. Money, fame and adrenalin never last and you always need more! If you are happy with the blessings around you, the rest will come regardess and you won't be chasing the 'dream' anymore, you will be living it :) kudos for opening up in public, I think this blog will help other people to do the same!

·

Thanks for your kind words @beautifulbullies
I completely agree, although I've not had any fame as if yet! I'll let you know how it feels when i do!
Kindest
Darren

Thank you for this honest and sincere post! You're so lucky that you have a wonderful family that stood beside you through those trying phase in your life. I agree that writing or speaking about it helps. I have used Steemit as well as a way to share my emotions because it seems to be a taboo topic in my real life environment. And I'm glad you also have the gift of music where you can channel all these overwhelming emotions. :)

·

Thank-you kindly!
Like I said to @atomcollector I meant every word and really want to shed a bright light over this darkened subject!
I never realised how amazing my family were until I really needed them. Their support has been my foundations to living with Mental Health issues, because, they are issues, not problems or a disease!
I just ride the waves now!
Some days I'm on top and riding the tube like a pro surfer and others, I'm bobbing up and down in an ocean of anxiety trying to keep my head above the water line, to avoid drowning in the shitty thoughts and feelings I have!
The more we talk, the more we help and the happier we'll be!

Kindest
@mrbloom

·
·

Thank you again @mrbloom! This is inspiring for people like me who also has issues to express myself and talk :)

This was really a good post!
Depression and anxiety are difficult beasts to deal with, but they can be worked through. My depression is reoccouring clinical depression, so I've had to deal with it frequently. It, and the anxiety are more controllable now than they used to be because of the help that I've gotten over the past 10 or so years.

·

I'm so glad I've reached out to you and others with this post.
Getting the help, support and medication you need, really is half the battle won!
The other half, is your endeavour, resilience and self realisation that, it CAN be fought!
Well done you! for soldiering on through the quagmire of debilitating thoughts and feelings!
Stay safe...
Kindest
@mrbloom

  ·  last year (edited)

This is a very wonderful, open and honest sharing, so thank you for that. Many of us who have a creative drive are faced with that 'wish to succeed' it is a strange mental process which dictates that we seek 'outside' recognition in order to feel good with.
Thank heavens when we reach that point where we see this is simply not the case, and just the ramblings of a busy mind. Not always an easy place to find, and as you rightly say reaching out is a wonderful way along the path to that discovery.
I am sincerely hay for you. And admire you talent - not that you need my praise to be just exactyl who you are.
Big thanks much love to you and your family .

·

Thank you kindly my friend! It was written sincerely and openly! Those of us that have these issues need transparency, trust and understanding when reaching out for help, and I'm happy that you've picked up on that. I want to also thank you for your very kind words with regard to my 'Talent' although, I never really think of it like that, it's just something I submerge myself into, and fully embrace my weirdness, creativity and love for sound!
Kindest
@mrbloom

The power of a true smile, warming from inside makes wonders. It cannot be faked, it curves your lip and grows from there into something that comfort the spirit. Wear it proudly.
I deal with anxiety, random, I am not so brave still to talk about it openly here but music also helped me, also to convey. And air, sun, mother nature , music and the warmth of a true smile. Wishing you the best.

·
  ·  last year (edited)

Thanks for your truly poetic words of support @yidneth
You CAN talk about it, it's fine, I'm listening and have all the empathy in the world!
Keep making beautiful music and writing spiritual words!
Oh and, SMILE.......Kindest
@mrbloom

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  ·  last year (edited)

Thanks for discovering this very important post and getting it out to the Steemit community.
I hope it will help some of the users here in their daily struggles with their Mental Health issues.
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You should be commended for your bravery in sharing this story.

Without knowing you have probably helped many people now and in the future who stumble upon this heartfelt story and can identify with it.

I have been lucky not to suffer too seriously but I have certainly felt myself close to the edge sometimes and music has been very cathartic for me.

Someone very close to me suffers from Bipolar so I have also seen the devastating effects that mental illness can have on people.

The more we can raise awareness the more people will understand that it is something to be taken seriously and that the happy face that is in front of your may not belong to someone who is as happy as they seem.

I hope you don't mind me sharing one of my songs as it was written about exactly this subject.

"they are the beautiful ones and I wanna know, do they suffer like me?"

Huge respect to you!


Add dsound & Musicoin tracks and get more plays!


Follow @JuxtaMusic for More Of My Music

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  ·  last year (edited)

Thanks my friend! I meant every word and really want to shed a bright light over this dark subject!
The more we talk, the more we help and the happier we'll be!
Nice track by the way, like the dark 80's synth-pop feel to it created with guitars! clever stuff.
Kindest
@mrbloom

SteemThat

I'm glad that you were able to find support. I don't know how is the deal there - is CBT something you could get through insurance or National Health, or was it something that you had to pay from your own pocket?

As @krystel said, "The biggest issues with mental health, is knowing there is a problem but not knowing what to do or where to focus your energies". I can imagine, if upon that, you would also have to pay lots of money, a lot of people would not be able to afford that, and unfortunately, might hide as well so they avoid the responsibilities of going to therapy. Of course, therapy is not the only option. It's great that you are generating a discussion. For me, during my depression, at times talking to a stranger felt much better than talking to anyone I knew.