Bravo for working through the hard times! It is not easy, this I know all too well. You have your music and the love of your family. There is nothing more important than those things, especially if you top it off with good health. Money, fame and adrenalin never last and you always need more! If you are happy with the blessings around you, the rest will come regardess and you won't be chasing the 'dream' anymore, you will be living it :) kudos for opening up in public, I think this blog will help other people to do the same!