Do you ever have dreams of friends or family who have died?
Introduction
Death has been in my thoughts a lot recently.
I have previously discussed the issue of post bereavement hallucinatory experiences (read the post here).
There is another bereavement related experience which I seem to experience quite often.
Some of my other family members have also mentioned having similar experiences.
I frequently have dream encounters with friends and family who have passed away. I'm wondering how common this is?
My Experience
I had a very close school friend who passed away in his early twenties (I wrote about it in one of my older posts) and I frequently seem to have dream discussions with him.
We were both car and tech nuts, so as an example, we might be sitting outside having a discussion about a new car or piece of technology. Other times we are just talking about life in general.
Interestingly the discussion is usually about contemporary events and matters that happened after he died.
Qualitatively the dreams have more clarity and less of an ethereal or fantastical nature to them than usual.
This is not the only person I see either. Though not as frequent I also have similar dreams where I am talking to my maternal grandfather (also deceased).
The basic elements remain quite similar and they often seem to happen when I am at a metaphorical crossroads in my life - when I need to make a big decision or I am going through some sort of stress.
They do seem to be helpful for clarifying my thoughts.
Even when they do not appear to discuss the exact matter at hand directly the discussion seems to be relevant in some metaphorical way.
The weird thing is sometimes I ask them "Aren't you dead?" or "How come I am talking to you here? I thought you were dead."
In those cases either they change the subject or sometimes I just wake up.
The question is never directly answered though.
These dreams are very strange and unlike other dreams (which I tend to forget very easily) these tend to linger in my memory for longer - more like a real life experience.
My thoughts on what is happening
I am not suggesting that there is some kind of supernatural visitation occurring here - I am skeptical by nature.
I believe we are all to some degree a product of those we grow up with and are raised by.
I think these dreams reflect that we incorporate aspects of our friends and family into our own psyches.
It is likely that our unconscious minds create these "avatars" of people who we trusted during our lives to help us to resolve difficult decisions.
Anyway that is my personal belief but I would not be arrogant enough to say that it is absolutely correct or the only interpretation.
I would be curious to hear other people's opinions on this. Have you had similar experiences?
A quick thanks to the Steemit Community
Before I go I wanted to say a quick thanks for everyone who voted for my post "Value Your Loved Ones Whilst They Are Still Around" - your kindness was phenomenal.
Special thanks to @karenb54 and @sgnsteems for their direct donations.
In total I'll have about $250 to donate to charity and I will look into transferring it soon. I just need to decide which charity to donate it to.
Let me know if you have any particular epilepsy charity that you have used before and you know does good work in the comments. Thanks!
Thank you for reading!
I'm no psychologist, but perhaps you see your friend at such times because it is comforting for you in a way. At that time in your life, when he was still with you, did you feel very secure? If so, it makes sense that you would dream about someone from a time when you had a lot less stress in your life, at times when you have a lot of stress in your life...
Really though, perhaps the why shouldn't matter. What counts is that you're still getting to spend time with them, long after they're gone. So, you should try and do your best to enjoy it when it happens, and think of it as a blessing that few people are entitled to.
As for you deciding what charity to give the money to, I would like to suggest that you cut the middle-man out. Rather than giving the money to a charity, and not knowing for certain whether it actually went to a good cause.. Could you consider giving it to a homeless person, or people, that you see out and about? Or even, buy things like a toothbrush, toothpaste, covers etc, and then hand it off to homeless people?
My brother who still lives in England made up 6 huge bags with food, clothing, blankets etc, and gave one to a homeless person for each of us who live in Scotland. He did that for us, as our gifts, and it was the best one I ever had in truth.
Well I would rather it went into epilepsy research - I do normally give things to homeless people directly anyway. Good suggestion though.
@thecryptofiend goosebumps ..
. I've often dreamed talking to my both my dead gramps and granny .. but have never asked them for advice or help ... having read this I thought .. even in your dreams you're aware - you yes, you? but you were even dreaming ...
I never specifically asked them for advice - it was just a spontaneous discussion (or seemed that way) and in those cases in particular I wasn't aware I was dreaming.
In some dreams I do realise I'm dreaming though if that is what you mean - but most of the time it is like I forget really fast (if that makes sense).
The few times when I have been truly lucid it has ruined the dream and I have normally woken up.
For example a few times I had a dream where I was able to fly like superman and I had the thought - if I can fly this must be a dream.
When I started to think that I started to slowly drift down and lost the ability to fly or do anything dreamlike - it was like the laws of physics returned to being the same as the waking world and I woke up soon afterwards.
Come to think of it you gave me an idea - there may be a way I can donate it directly to the neurology department of my local university. I'll see if they have a way of accepting small donations.
That should work. I can't see a good reason why they wouldn't be able to accept direct donations.
There are always reasons lol - sometimes with small donations the bureaucracy involved can cost more than the actual donation so some institutions don't take them - that is what I have heard anyway - may just be one of those rumours that goes around.
Interesting topic, I had one time a dream like that. But a friend of mine is experiencing this a lot. She also saw here grandparents standing in here room before she recieved a phone call they actually died after she saw them. I am always interested and try to open up to her. For myself; my bf's father must have been a great man, but he passed away before I could meet him. On night; (well I think I was awake) I woke up; his father was standing next to the bed and telling me that he trusted me. He had the same voice I made up in my mind, the same lenght I could imagine.. So The next day I woke up and told my bf I saw his dad. From this day on, when the family is talking about him I can relate myself a bit to the stories. Just trough this experience. So yes, I think more people experience it. :) Thanks for sharing your story! It's good to open up topics like these.
Wow that is amazing. Thanks for sharing!
It was and still is! You are.most welcome. You're the one to open up this topic!
(sorry for my long response, I kept writing XD)
Sometimes dead relatives come to me in a dream. In a dream, I think that they are alive, I communicate with them and they say that after death they are not free, there are some rules. And here in life we are free, but do not use this freedom. It's from their stories.
Interesting - I have not heard the rules thing before.
When my mother-in-law died, she came to me in a dream, so she told me that it was difficult for her there. What they can not do there, what they want, in life it was free, but in the next world they are not free. Here are her words: "We can not do what we want, in life we were free, but then there are rules and we are not free."
And I see them all young and healthy. As if there is no old age in the afterlife.
I believe the reason your dreams didn't feel like usual dreams is that they were visits from....the other side. I've had a few and can definitely feel the difference between them and normal dreams. I've dreamt of my maternal grandmother twice where I was encouraged not so much with words but a feeling I immediately understood before stressful events occurred. I've also dreamt of an aunt and uncle but not sure why, it was quite casual. Another striking dream/visit was from a beloved staff member who died of AIDS. (I am South African). Her husband, who was a horrible person died a year before her. She had only one child (a daughter, 22years) who died before I met my her, also probably of AIDS. In the dream she was at our place of work sitting at a table and proudly introduced her daughter to me. I saw her husband in the distance, but a thick glass wall separated him from them. All these encounters didn't feel like dreams and I in my heart I know they weren't.
Thanks for sharing your perspective. I keep an open mind about things. Interesting how the husband was still there but there was a barrier.
My father passed away in 2001, maybe less than a year ago I had a dream I was at my parents house eating dinner. He was at the head of the table as usual and my wife and kids were there (whom he never met) and it was like he never left. Still hits me in the feels when I think about it. Thanks for reminding me! 🤗
Thanks for sharing:)
I think I missed a bunch of posts from you @thecryptofiend, I thought my life was missing something.. :-)
I haven't really had dreams where I was visited by dead people.
I have seen / experienced plenty of ghosts however. So I wound't discount your experience as being more than just your brain helping you work through stuff.
I think one thing you should recognize is that this does not seem to happen to everyone, and perhaps in that way you are blessed with this. It does seem a positive thing for you. you are not so much being haunted as helped. At least I hope that is what it happening.
I'll have to be more diligent in future to make sure I see your posts when they come up.
Thanks! You should definitely post about your experiences. I find ghosts fascinating.
I lived with a ghost in my bedroom in an old stone cottage in Oxfordshire for about 9 months. It was an interesting experience :-)
Hmm.... maybe I should do a series on ghosts.....
thanks for that ;-)
Definitely and let me know so I don't miss it.
This is a great article! Thanks for sharing such a personal experience with us all, dreams contains so much...
I don't really dream of dead people, maybe I should ask them if they are or not... Often, when people close to me are about to die, they come into my dreams to ask me to share messages with the people still living or they ask me for help on the path to the light. Such events are really profound and can be arrowing. Life sustains itself and, even from beyond the grave, when it is needed, some spirits stick around for as long as they need to help out. Just like a loving caring parent would do. Though they may hang out, sometimes all they want is the acknowledgement that they can or need go on.
What a magnificent piece of writing you just shared with you. I bow to your courage, sincerity and openheartedness. Much gratitude your way. All for one and one for all! Namaste :)
Thank you:)
I've had people who have died come back and be in my dreams, but I never dream of them dying, or them being dead. They just appear as characters in my dreams... and I never think of them as being dead in the dreams.
Yes same here. For me it is like they never died and they are just alive although occasionally I do remember and ask them but as I said they change the subject or the dream ends.
I hate it when dreams end!! It's always the good ones where I'm just about to score with some really hot chick!
Lol that is true!
I'm not a religious man, but some dreams are mind boggling. The night my gf passed away (didn't find out she passed away until 3 days later), I dreamt of her telling me she was cured of depression and she's finally free. A week after her passing I had a vivid dream of her touching her face in mine and it felt so real. A dream I wish lasted an eternity.
Wow that is really weird! Sorry to hear of your loss.
Sure is. I believe the world is made of energy. We can't make more nor destroy it, so it's recycled without a conscious. And thank you.
I am so sorry, My thoughts are with you
You are more than welcome, I have never dreamed about family dying but I have had plenty of visits from them in my dreams :)
Thanks! Luckily I've not dreamed of them dying either.
I think that would be horrible
Yes for sure.