Value Your Loved Ones Whilst They Are Still Around

in #life4 years ago (edited)

I wasn't planning on doing a post today but something happened late last night that made me change my mind.

Last night I received some devastating news. My first cousin, whom I spent many summer holidays with as a child passed away at the age of 37.

Although he had suffered from epilepsy for a few years he had been generally fit and healthy.

The sad thing is that he lived alone as he was separated from his wife and young son.

As a result nobody was with him when he passed away - although we still don't know exactly what happened or how he died.

To add to the tragic circumstances he was found by his little sister.


I am still in total shock really.

I am just going through the motions of doing things as normal because it just doesn't seem real.

We get so caught up in our own issues that we lose sight of others far too easily. Once we get into our 20s it is so easy to lose track of friends and people we grew up with.

Life is busy so we keep putting things off.

We cancel or postpone meeting up because of work or other things which are not significant in the grand scheme of things.

ThinkstockPhotos-176985842 BW.jpg

Career, work and other considerations can wait. Life and ultimately death, do not.

We all have a set amount of time and you can't really buy more once it is too late. If you have a friend, relative or other loved one that you haven't seen in a while - remember that fact.

Once people are dead, they are gone forever and you can't get the opportunities to see them or connect with them back.

Make the most of friends and relatives while they are here so you don't have regrets when they are gone. You don't want to find out they died from a Facebook update.

(N.B. - I was originally going to decline payout on this post but have decided that I will send the liquid payouts to an epilepsy charity, along with my own donation in my cousin's name.)

My condolences @thecryptofiend...
My Dad passed away all alone in his apartment.., and besides being completely devastated, I carried so much self-imposed guilt for not being there... Until, I met a very special person.., and she said to me -- "dying is an extremely personal and private thing, maybe he needed to alone." I don't know if that helps, at all -- but it actually helped me let go of all that guilt i carried with me...

Thanks mate - I can only imagine how hard it was. Right now everyone is in shock - plus we don't know the cause of death and because it is sudden there will need to be an investigation/autopsy etc. Plus this also sadly the kind of time when family feuds become even more bitter - the drama has already started and it is the worst time.

Hang in there, buddy...

I agree with what she said, and I have thought about it myself and would prefer to be alone. The best you can hope for is that loved ones die peacefully while they sleep when the time comes.

It's amazing how much that one sentence helped me...


My sincere condolences.
Thank you for the reminder how precious our time on earth and health in correlation to spent time with our loved ones is.
Mostly we are to much unaware about what we have.

Thank you absolutely agree on that. To be honest right now it is helpful to have the distraction of mundane things.

Sorry for your loss, @thecryptofiend - my thoughts are with you.

(I have nothing but respect for your decision to donate to an epilepsy charity.)

I have thought about that as well. I had some family trouble twice with health issues and I simply gave up everything and returned home. I don't have many people around me but I think family comes first no matter how primitive it sounds. They are the ones who will stand by you at the end of the day.

If it's of any consolation, your cousin most likely went painlessly after suffering a stroke. Epilepsy does that most of the times.

All best while you go through this.

I don't have many people around me but I think family comes first no matter how primitive it sounds. They are the ones who will stand by you at the end of the day.

Yes I agree.

If it's of any consolation, your cousin most likely went painlessly after suffering a stroke. Epilepsy does that most of the times.

Thanks yes I hope so.

what a sad post. but good call to remind ourselves on whats important - even the harsh way. good wake up call.

Yes I think these things snap us out of the complacency.

Very sad, I hope the community cheers you up a bit! :D

Maybe this cute guy will help!

So sorry to hear about your cousin :( Such a beautiful post though and a prevalent reminder of how precious family and loved ones really are....going to hug my kids now! Thinking of you.

That's very sad. My thoughts are with you and your loved ones. Life gets in the way all time, we never realise until its to late.

Thanks so much for the donation I will send it along with the rest:)

You are more than welcome :)

Resteemed, upvoted and donated :)

my sincere condolences

You are absolutely right. My deepest condolences.

Thank you!

I've always tried to be active with friends and family while they are alive. I have always known to try and do my best since I was younger with this aspect.

Sometimes people do not want much to do with you, friends or family, so you have to just walk away and know you tried.

I am sorry for your loss ... this hits home for lots of reasons and for most people I would suspect.

I am thinking of you man.

What an important message, Arif. My condolences.
I can totally relate. Time stands still when things like these take place. It's essential to remind that we (and our loves) have only one chance.
Remember all these moments you've shared with your cousin. In the end he will keep on living as a part of yours. ❤️

Thank you :)

Sorry for your loss @thecryptofiend
I always try to think of the good memories that live on in my mind.

I like your post! 😻

Prayers for you and your family @thecryptofiend! Such a sad & shocking way to realize we all need to appreciate how wonderful this life truly is and that it can be gone in an instant. Keep your chin up!

It is very sad that you lost your good friend.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

A good time to pray and thanks for donating to epilepsy

My condolences.
I'll try to keep this in my more. We all need to.

Nice sentiment and generosity by a family member which will continue to LIVE on the STEEM blockchain.

Our condolences @cassidyandfranks

I'm sorry for your loss. It's very true that we can at times take the presence of our loved ones for granted. Good reminder to take an extra moment while we have it.

May he Rest in peace.

So sorry for your loss @thecryptofiend

Thank you it seems a bit unreal.

"Condoléances" we say in France !!!

A wake up call for me. Thanks!

Thanks I think most of the family including me are just in shock right now.

Yes I think for us all.

Very true

Really sorry to hear.. So sad

Excellent post! I like your work My friend

my deepest prayers for you..God bless you and your family always @thecryptofiend

thats the least i can do to help my friend..=)

my condolences, my friend :(

So sorry to hear this. My deepest condolences. Hope time will heal everything.



Despite the pain you are feeling, you have opened my eyes to divert attention from problems and give time to those we love. I'm sorry for your loss.

Very sorry for your loss. Thanks for the reminder of the delicateness of life.

Thank you. I think we all forget so easily how we all have limited time.

A few years ago I was quite shock when my long time friend from universitywas lost to a brain tumour. He was only going 50. It's shocking and I agree we have to appreciate our family and friends more.

Sorry to hear that. Yes definitely.

Condolences for your loss, and thanks for the reminder to make the time count.

My condolences, I've been there myself too. It was so hard to not get overwhelmed by regrets, it's eating your soul and the one who passed away surely doesn't want that. Now I have NO regrets but only clear awareness of the consequences.

I am so sorry for your loss. You are an incredibly kind and generous person. You take so much time to encourage others. If you are this way to strangers, I can only imagine how kind you were to your cousin. Even if we grow apart as adults, nothing can break the bonds created when we are young. I'm sure your cousin cherished the memories he had with you.

You are too kind mate! I think it has hit my brother harder than me as he was closer to my cousin. It just feels very strange though.

Just telling the truth. Yeah that numb feeling at the beginning is surreal. The pain mixed with confusion and disbelief is a terrible combination. All you can do is lean on each other and let time do its job. I wish you and your loved ones the best in dealing with this tragedy. It is one of the hardest things we have to endure. Stay strong.

My sincere condolences.

Hi @thecryptofiend
This is so true, we need to make time for our loved ones,we are easily living past each other.

Im so sorry about your cousin. It was make me think about all of people around me, friends which always have a time and help me, parent and all people our love, sometime we can not understand how to value the time with them, we so busy with our life and skip the time to be with them, i can cry if i remember about my friend was died and our still in bad relation, im so regret if i remember that. Thank you for this post :')

Yes exactly. Thank you.

Thanks @thecryptofiend i remind myself of this alot now that I have gotten older, honestly I think life is sort and for some of our loved ones we have even less time to be with them as they are older, think people need to calm down with life and love those around them and not take them for granted.

I feel sorry for you and the people you love. Life is indeed to short to only work, survive and living the way others expect you to do. My condoleances. I wish you strength these days and all the days that will come after.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom just over 2 years ago and her birthday is next week. The truth is nothing can ever cure the longing but it does get easier to move on if you find ways to keep them alive and still a part of your world. Many blessings of love & light to you and yours!

Thanks and sorry to hear about your mother.

We are all sorry for the incident that happened to your cousin, may he be accepted and placed in a beautiful place by his side.

Should not our fellow human beings care for each other? Why should you thank me, will you be friends with me?

its thank you for your care of him bro

Lady Fortuna with her handful of delights in one arm and the rudder to the fate of men in the other shows us all humility at times like this - this is when the absurd nature of life overwhelms us all. I wish you safe passage at this time @thecryptofiend

Lady Fortuna never scares me - I've been absurd all my life - I know her capricious ways very well. Upvoted and RS. Look after yourself ;)

So sorry about your cousin - do seek out counselling if you feel the need, and encourage other family members to do so.

@thecryptofiend I am sorry for your loss. You are right we get so involved in our own lives that we forget about all else. We use excuses such as lack of time or how far we live from one another that we dont take time from our busy life to check on our loved ones. Take care!

I too have a brother with epilepsy. It is scary to see. I will send a donation to send with your donation for epilepsy. Thanks for doing so!

Thanks I will send it along with the rest.

I've very sorry about your cousin, @thecryptofiend and I send my condolences to your family. Your post is a good reminder for us all to value the things that really matter in life. My father was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's, this was a huge wake up call for our family. The years go way too fast. Take care.

Thank you and am so sorry to hear about your father.

Thank you!

Sorry for your loss :(

What a tragic happening, my condolences @thecryptofiend - I lost my dad last year. Very important to spend time with your loved ones.

Condolences sir

One of my friends had her brother pass away yesterday. I feel the exact same way as you right now. Going through the motions and am in total shock. Thank you for sharing.

So sorry to hear that - I think it feels unreal in these situations - I'm still getting on and doing what I do normally as much as possible and then it just strikes me.

My neice, who was a young girl, died in an automobile attack or "accident". The other driver crashed into them apparently on purpose. An angry mob killed him. Sometimes you just can't get into other people's heads. Was he sleeping at the wheel? Did he have a sudden urge to kiĺl? We never will know.

That is awful. So sorry.

Very sorry to hear, I hope you're all holding up ok
Good message to be sending out

Thank you. I'm OK the biggest worry is for his direct family - my Uncle (his father) is in very poor health.

That's really sad to hear, not much to say really
Hopefully you're all together and there for him

sorry to hear about your sad news. condolances to you and the family.
"Make the most of friends and relatives while they are here so you don't have regrets when they are gone. You don't want to find out they died from a Facebook update." well said.

Condolences for your loss @thecryptofiend

So sorry for your loss. Your post gives some of the best and most important advice any of us can receive. Unfortunately, we don't heed it until we know it's too late and then regret not having more contact with our loved ones after they are gone. We think of what we should have expressed or should have asked, so that we could know, understand and bond more than we were able to when they were with us. Thank you for your heartfelt post. God Bless.