Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 19
Hello, my post-sharers! This is the 19th part of my series post about Filipino jokes which I have translated for Western audiences. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, and 18. Please read and pick the one you like the most. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.
There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that need translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.
Read and enjoy!
A Different Dog
Once upon a time, there was a kid who was boasting about his newly bought Pitbull breed of dog. The kid loved to scare the other dogs with his Pitbull. Until one day he saw an old man walking with an odd-looking, very thin dog on the street. The kid instantly challenged the old man.
KID: Hey, Grandpa! Can we have a dogfight? Your mutt versus mine?
GRANDPA: We better not, young man. You might regret it because your dog looks newly bought from the pet shop and looks mighty expensive.
KID: What's the matter? You afraid my dog will beat your mangy, thin and hairless
pet? You lost your war veteran spirit, Grandpa! I'll give you 20 Dollars for a match!
GRANDPA: Okay, but no regrets?
KID: Ha-ha-ha!!! Maybe you'll reget it! Okay? Deal!
GRANDPA: Okay, here goes...Go Simba!!!
The old man's odd-looking, very thin dog suddenly pounced on the Pitbull and ate the struggling dog up!
KID: (In Shock) Nnnooo!!! What kind of a dog is that???
GRANDPA: Oh, he's not a dog. He's an old lion with a skin disease!
The boy and girl
BOY: I love you!
GIRL: Shut up!
BOY: I love you, twice!
GIRL: Shut up!
BOY: I love you, three times a day!
GIRL: Shut up!
BOY: I love you every minute of the day!
GIRL: SSSHHH! Not so loud...Someone might hear you!
The reality
BOY: You got lovely lips.
GIRL: Thanks...
BOY: You have pretty eyes.
GIRL: Thank you.
BOY: Your face is beautiful.
GIRL: Of course!
BOY: Everything about you is hot!
GIRL: I know, right?
BOY: Its good that you were born good-looking. Unfortunately, I was born a liar!
Brave alibi
Two ignorant country bumpkins went to the city for some recreation. They suddently went hungry and decided to eat in a nearby small restaurant. One of them unknowingly ordered the hottest chili soup for both of them.
JOHN: (Face turning red and gets teary-eyed upon tasting the ultra-hot soup) Ooohhh...hu-hu-hu!!!
PETER: John, why are you crying???
JOHN: (Lying) I just remembered my Grandma who died several months ago! Go on, eat your soup!
PETER: (Eats the soup and suddenly bursts into tears because of the hotness) Hu-hu-hu!!!
JOHN: Are you crying too???
PETER: Yes, I'm sharing in your grief and expressing my condolences!
Mental fitness test
Meanwhile in a mental hospital, a doctor decides to examine his patients' mental health. He paints a real-like door on a wall and summons his mental patients.
DOCTOR: If any one of you feels well and thinks he's already cured, you may go out through this door and get a discharge. Now, who wants to go out?
PATIENTS: Me! Me!
The doctor was sad. He concluded that all his crazy patients were not cured yet. He notices a patient laughing in a corner.
DOCTOR: What are you laughing about? Don't you want them to go out through the door?
LAUGHING PATIENT: Ha-ha-ha! How can they go out when I have the key!
Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/
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