New Story - again written exclusively on Steemit - WiP - Bouncer Part 18

in #writing6 years ago (edited)

I started a new story to share on Steemit. It's not my usual type of tale, but I decided it has legs so I'm going to let it run.

Meet Zack, my newest character. I hope you like him.

The first part was written a few weeks ago and since then, I've been mulling it over in my head where the story needs to go.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16 Part 17

Pictures from Google free to use search

Please note: This is the FIRST DRAFT, no editing, written straight onto paper. I don't know how to highlight that any more than it is. I'll NOT be making any alterations to what's already been written. As a good friend and excellent author has said, First draft is a race to get the story down before it decides to stop telling itself to you. Thanks Glenn. @alienbutt

39 pages, 16,000 words so far.


Dinner went down well, as did the Champagne and the vodka toasts.

Because the alcohol was consumed along with food, the brothers didn’t seem as drunk as they would have after such copious amounts of booze.

The party moved on into the adjoining nightclub through a private door and Zack stood staring at the enormity.

“I’ve never heard of this club,” Zack said to Taylor. “It’s fucking awesome!”

Viktor heard his exclamation and slapped him on the back. “Yes. I think ‘fucking awesome’ sums it up,” he said. “Come. I want to show you the VIP area.”

The VIP area lay behind a mirrored glass wall. Entry was by a key card, given only to members – the abuse of the privilege meant confiscation without refund of membership.

In the VIP area, the bar served Cristal, Krug and Dom Champagnes with the bar bill charged to the member’s account.

The mirrored wall was not as effective as it could have been. Turning the lights down in the VIP area made the glass mirrored from the outside, but if the lights were up, the people outside could sometimes catch glimpses.

Zack was amused by the people that placed their faces close to the glass, hands shading their eyes so they could peer in through the mirrored glass.

Viktor and other guests ignored the observers. Taylor and Zack waved at them.

The room was sound-proofed to a certain extent. The music from outside could be heard, but it was also possibly to talk over it. A perfect environment for a more informal business meeting where non-confidential matters could be discussed in relative isolation.

To ensure the membership was not abused, a doorman stood discretely to the side. He could see the key card as it was used to unlock the door and his expert eye and member-recognition stood him in good stead.

Two beautiful women entered the room using a key card that looked a little different to others Zack had spotted.

“Ah, my other guests have arrived,” Viktor said. “Ladies, this is Taylor and this is Zack. I would like you to entertain them this evening.”

Zack realised what Viktor meant and he was surprised. He looked from Taylor, to Viktor and then to the beautiful women, at a complete loss for words.

Taylor placed a hand on his arm. He leaned close to Zack and whispered. “Stop flapping your gums, they aren’t hookers.”

Zack looked at Taylor, his eyebrows flicked upwards and his head inclined in such a slight movement that unless someone was watching closely, they would have missed it. The silent question asked, Zack waited for the answer.

Taylor nodded once and grinned. Zack grinned too.

“Hello, ladies,” he said.

Zack was relieved at the end of the night when the ladies didn’t ask or offer to go back to their room with them. Taylor was a little disappointed but kissed his companion’s hand.

Viktor had gone and though he’d said goodnight, they had no idea how long ago it had been. The nightclub was still jumping as they left, drunk but not incapacitated by the alcohol.

“Viktor sure knows how to throw a party,” Zack said.

“I can’t wait for the club to open back home,” Taylor said.

“You mean this kind of thing is coming to a location near us?” Zack said.

“A location near us?” Taylor repeated. “It’s ‘The Cobalt’! That’s what all this is about. Didn’t you realise?”

“You never said as much, how would I realise? Just how many meetings have you had with Viktor?” Zack said.

They entered the elevator and Zack had to think which floor they needed. He took so much time about deciding that the doors opened and the women from the club got in too.

The women ignored Zack and Taylor and one pressed the button for the top floor. Zack reached forward and pressed the button for the floor they needed. She either didn’t recognise him or was deliberately ignoring him. Zack didn’t know which it was, and didn’t care. They’d had a good time with the girls and that’s all that mattered to him.

Zack and Taylor had to press past the girls when the elevator reached their floor. The girls still showed no recognition and as the doors closed, Zack waved at them. They ignored him, their faces stony.

“Not hookers, you said,” Zack said, laughing.

“I know! It appears you were right and I got it dead wrong!” Taylor said. “They were on their way to the top floor. Do you think it’s their room up there?”

Zack looked at his brother to check whether he was taking the piss. He laughed when he realised Taylor was indeed having a laugh.

“Good old Viktor!” Zack said, fumbling with the key card for their room. “Two at a time!”

“I’m glad they didn’t want to come back with us, I don’t think I could have done them justice,” Taylor said. He flopped onto the first bed, leaving Zack to meander to the next room and the other bed.

“I’m sure they carry a supply of ‘little blue pills’ to help out,” Zack said. “Don’t sleep in those clothes!”

“Right-o, mum,” Taylor mumbled from the other room.

Zack heard the chair scrape across the floor and knew that Taylor was at least doing as he told him, getting undressed before falling asleep.

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Its a beautiful story in the post. The girl who was ignoring Zack may be not want to talk because of their past relationship which was not good. The other thing the Zack told the Victor that undress while before going to bed. Its an interesting story. I really wait for your post to read the story. You have good writing skills. Thanks for sharing the post.

Amazing and beautiful story, Well written. You are doing a great job. Thanks for sharing @michelle.gent

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Great one @michelle.gent. waiting for next parts.

     Resteemed!

Today's part just extra ordinary...Keep it up..

This story very nice..I appreciate your creativity..Thanks for sharing this story...Best if luck.

Your way of describing actions can keep the reader interested for a long period. However, I have to say that I like your descriptions more. Cheers and keep on writing!

This is a great post sharing....... i like this post.
your writing story so good , all the best dear.........
carry on your creativity..........

Oh. I thought the last part was the first part. It seemed like that, from youR title and first paragraph. When are you beginning with an absolute new story from part 1 ? Since, I am your new fan, I gotta read it from the top !

The links are from part 1 through to today's episode. I'm sorry it wasn't clear. I hope you enjoy reading from part 1 though.

I wish to join when you begin a new one. Its already the 17th part so it makes me lazy to read 17 posts 😅Thats the truth 🤷🏻‍♀️ Dont see my like that. My words are true no matter what 🤭

It seemed like that, from youR title and first paragraph,
this photography is looking beautiful
. DQmSCGBToT4rTodJAx5MVLrRGLrVVir2js9R9DTHhmtMwPW_1680x8400.png

i #resteem your post

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