New Story - again written exclusively on Steemit - WiP - Bouncer Part 8

in #writing7 years ago (edited)

I started a new story to share on Steemit. It's not my usual type of tale, but I decided it has legs so I'm going to let it run.

Meet Zack, my newest character. I hope you like him.

The first part was written a few weeks ago and since then, I've been mulling it over in my head where the story needs to go.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7

Pictures from Google free to use search

Please note: This is the FIRST DRAFT, no editing, written straight onto paper.


“He’ll wait for me, you know?” she said.

“Does he know where you live?” Zack asked.

“Well, no. He doesn’t. I’ve never taken him home,” she said, not looking up at Zack. “I… I guess I thought he’d show me up… you know, talk to me like he just did, and my dad…”

“It’s a shame it took a while for your instincts to kick in,” Zack said. “And knowing your dad, you’re probably right. He’d have kicked off if he’d heard little shit speaking to you like he just did.”

She looked up at Zack then and he thought she seemed way too young to be a student. Though, as he’d already hinted at, he knew her family and how old she was. “You know my dad?” She spoke in a quiet, diminished little voice.

“Yeah I know your dad. I also know your two brothers and they’d be as impressed as I am,” he said and smiled at her.

“Go on, grab your coat and bag, let’s get you out of here and away from that waste of skin.”

Zack walked out of the room, into the reception area. The soon-to-be-ex boyfriend stood shivering outside. The night chill didn’t affect Zack or his charge, they both had coats. Zack nodded to one of his team and the doorman stopped the abusive boyfriend from following them to the girl’s car.

“Go home, tell your dad what happened and if he needs to speak to me about it, here’s my card,” Zack said to the girl. He didn’t wait for a reply, he closed the car door and stepped back. She nodded up to him, gave a wan smile and started the car.

“Hey! That’s my ride! Where the fuck are you going, stupid bitch?” the ex-boyfriend screamed from behind the doorman as her car braked for the car park exit and she drove off.

Zack went back to the club, nodded to the doorman guarding the ex-boyfriend and he turned to follow Zack inside. The ex-boyfriend followed them both but was prevented from entering the premises by a large hand held up as a ‘stop’.

“What the fuck just happened?” the ex-boyfriend screamed at the closing door.

“What happened? Isn’t it obvious? She just dumped a chump. Go on, off you fuck and don’t bother coming back tomorrow, either.”

The doors slammed and the lad heard the bolts clunk home. The key locking the last lock jerked him out of his bemusement and he realised he had, in truth, been dumped and left to make his own way home.

He kicked and punched the doors to no effect. The doors stood solid – in fact, the thumps and bumps that did manage to come through made the doormen smile. It would take a tank to get through those doors and a tank wouldn’t fit down the path to the club.

Zack ushered Taylor, the door team, and other staff through the front door, off to one end of the building.

The Boss stood waiting to close the door behind them as the last one exited. He closed the door behind them all. “See you tomorrow,” he said, locking them outside.

“Night, Boss,” Zack said and strolled to Taylor’s car, where his brother waited.

Joe hung back as the rest of the lads dispersed. “Zack? You got a minute?”

“Sure, what can I do for you?” Zack said. He stopped walking and looked up at Joe, the biggest guy on his team, both in height and breadth.

“There are rumours,” Joe said.

Zack nodded. “There will always be rumours, Joe,” Zack said.

“Yeah, and I think these rumours are true. If they are, I want you to know that it doesn’t matter how long it takes, I’ll come to work for you if you’ll have me.

Zack nodded. He reached out his hand and Joe took it in his. Joe’s mighty mitt dwarfed the head doorman’s hand. “I appreciate it, Joe. It shouldn’t take too long. I finish on Saturday night. Do you want to come out with us all on Sunday? It should be a laugh,” he said.

“I don’t usually go out on Sundays,” Joe said. “But yeah, I’ll come for a session with you.”

“I’ll let you know what time, and where we’re meeting,” Zack said. “And I’ll not forget your offer.”

Joe nodded, lifted a hand to Taylor as a goodbye, and walked to his own car.

“I take it he’s heard about you setting up on your own?” Taylor said throwing the keys to Zack.

“I think they all have. He’s the fifth one tonight that wants to join us,” Zack said.

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we can learn manythings from this post. so thanks for the post.

thanks for new story....
i always wait for your story.....
i also wait for next part...
carry on dear
best of luck

My story is a freedom song of struggle. It is about finding one's purpose, how to overcome fear and to stand up for causes bigger than one's self.

Thank you so much for sharing. I followed you for such beautiful stories which i am reading right now. Stay blessed.

well an intresting and good story and now i leaved to read this 7 part because i missed the first 6 parts and now first i read that parts number vise and then will read it to understand all the story
good work @michelle.gent to to see this i think really you have a good skill of writing

I really like your stories ! You are very creative :)

Nice creativity i see......
carry on your writing and stay with it...
Thanks for this story

The gif reminds me of my old boss taking out the door and frame on his office one day. :)

Thanks a lot for sharing for your ew story ..You already written part 8..nicely done your part 8..
I appreciate your story..
Carry on my friend ..
Absolutely you success in this time...
Best of luck....

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