New Story - again written exclusively on Steemit - WiP - Bouncer Part 6

in #writing7 years ago (edited)

I started a new story to share on Steemit. It's not my usual type of tale, but I decided it has legs so I'm going to let it run.

Meet Zack, my newest character. I hope you like him.

The first part was written a few weeks ago and since then, I've been mulling it over in my head where the story needs to go.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Pictures from Google free to use search

Please note: This is the FIRST DRAFT, no editing, written straight onto paper.

A little more than usual today, I seemed to have got caught up in the action... ;)


Taylor wandered back to the bar, keeping his eye on the activity.

The guy with the knuckle-dusters had been overwhelmed and lay face-down on the grimy dance floor, two doormen holding him in place.

They stayed there until everyone else that had decided to join in the free-for-all had been escorted from the premises.

Finally, three doormen hauled the guy up from the floor.

His face appeared bruised to Taylor and he wondered if someone had managed to get in a couple of punches before he went down.

They approached, the guy’s hands behind his back, clamped by Joe, a capable member of the team.

Taylor saw the marks on the guy’s face were dirt.

One trickle of blood from his cheek appeared to have a piece of glass embedded in it and Taylor hoped it stung like a bastard.

The police waited in the reception area of the club. Zack promised to call in in the morning to make a statement, but the officers assured him everything was in order. Infra-red security cameras would have been a benefit, to see exactly what transpired, but nothing else could have been done.

“Here you go, Taylor,” Deb, the barmaid said as he reached the bar. “One on the house.”

Taylor accepted the tumbler of whisky with a smile and a nod. He lifted his chin slightly as a silent question of, ‘Who am I obliged to for this?’ and Deb answered in kind, tipping her head to the side to show where the drink had been ordered from.

Taylor looked over and saw Zack’s boss. He lifted the tumbler in salute and took a sip. ‘Looks like Zack is getting his hands on my car,’ he thought to himself. ‘He’ll have to leave his and drive me home now.’

Deb tapped Taylor on the arm and pointed toward the boss and Taylor realised he’d been summoned.

He went across to stand next to the man Zack referred to only as ‘Boss’.

“How’s it going, Mikhail?” Taylor said.

“Fine, thank you, Taylor. I appreciate you stepping in just now. It saves a lot of paperwork if we don’t have a death by misadventure on the premises,” he said. His voice had a slight accent. Taylor had always believed Mikhail to be of Russian extraction.

“No problem, Mikhail,” Taylor said. “Always pleased to help, you know that.”

“I always thought it a shame that you didn’t follow your brother into door work. You have a talent for it, the same as he does. Quietly confident, I believe is the phrase?”

“Yeah, that about sums up my brother. ‘Quietly confident’,” Taylor said with a smile.

“So, why didn’t you join him in the family business?” Mikhail said after a moment’s pause.

Mikhail’s ‘so’ sounded like ‘zo’ and ‘why’ was pronounced more like ‘vhy’.

Taylor looked at the ‘Boss’, studying the man before he answered him.

“Our dad wanted more for both of us. He wanted us both to go to University but Zack’s opportunity was… lost. They both decided that was not going to be the case for my education and Zack started working the doors as soon as he could in order to make it possible for me to get my degree.”

The Boss nodded, the corners of his mouth turned-down in an expression of appreciation for the struggles the brothers had overcome, perhaps.

“And what is your degree in?” he asked.

“Law.”

Mikhail nodded again but didn’t look at Taylor. He watched Zack working the room.

Taylor looked in the direction Mikhail’s attention had veered off to and he watched his brother too.

‘Quietly confident’ was spot-on.

Zack fielded come-ons from girls excited by the action and the obvious ‘alpha-male’, with a slight smile and a nod.

They stroked his arms, feeling the muscles under his black shirt and one made a bold move to stroke her hand across his stomach, feeling his abs.

She laughed and giggled with her friends as Zack moved her hand and moved away from the gaggle of giggling girls.

Zack’s work was not quite finished. He spoke into the radio and a couple of the team wandered across the room to join him.

Taylor wondered what he’d spotted and he predicted Zack’s trajectory to look ahead to where his brother was heading.

In one corner, around one of the tall tables, two people stood in confrontation. A young woman and a young man argued.

The young man lifted his hand to the woman and she flinched.

Zack arrived and caught hold of the man’s arm before he could strike the woman.

The man turned on Zack in fury which didn’t abate by much when he realised who had hold of him.

After a brief conversation, Zack appeared to be satisfied that nothing more would come of the argument between the two and he walked away.

One of his team remained to make sure the young man did as he’d promised and he behaved.

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Great one this part 6 my friend.
Actually this part is nicely done you.

Actually I say that you create some story .
But this story better than other story .

My friend carry on your writing story always and
This story part 6 done already ..

Thanks for sharing your story in steemit .
Well done.
I wish you will success by writing story ..
I will wait for your part 7.
Best of luck....😊😊

Keep going!! :D I love writing too !!

Nice read with my morning coffee...

Awesome story..Much obliged for sharing it

Awesome @michelle.gent ,i already read your story .And always i do it. I'm really surprised to see your creativity . I am trying to write story as like you.. and already started it.
You are great than another authors❤ ...
I like you so much ...❤❤
Thanks for sharing your most important story ..
Carry on..And i will still wait for your next blog...✌✌

Best of luck my friend

You've posted another 5 parts of this story while I've been away! Superb productivity! I am gonna go back and read the second part.

I dare not raise my hand on my woman.. firstly, I will read part 1 and come back to part two.. this story is touching

Carry on your activity focus on this platform.
Well done..
Best of luck..
Upvoted and resteemed

Oh Boy here s a new story :) michelle.gent
This story is really beautiful. I loved the 6 part and waited for the rest. I hope something new happens
I have a question why I think that Zack seems he have a Mood swings?

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