My Bio - Views on Life After Surviving a Shotgun Blast to the Back

I'm Brandon. I'm a 31 year old Canadian man. I live in a small condo with my beautiful girlfriend. I have a good job, a nice truck, a relatively nice lifestyle. I love to fish, hike, camp. All that good stuff. I like to think that I see things very differently from other people. I judge situations differently, I see people and the way they act differently than most. I think I'm going to use this blog to explain that. It may take many posts but I think if you follow along for a bit, you may begin to understand me.

A couple years ago I was shot in the back with a shotgun. When most people hear that, they are taken back. They assume it was an accident and ask "wow, how did that happen?" It's tough to answer that sometimes. I still don't even know completely. 

When minutes feel like hours

I was out for drinks with some friends and went for one last beer and a little smoke at my buddy's house after. After only a few minutes of sitting down, there was a loud knock at the door. I actually remember thinking to myself that someone must have been using an object to knock on the door because it didn't sound like a regular hand or fist knocking. 

My friend got up and looked through the peep hole. It was covered. He had no reason to think anything dangerous stood on the other side so he opened the door. 

Immediately a young man pushed his way in with a shotgun held low at his hip. My friend backed up with his hands in the air and without saying a word, the guy fired and shot him in the stomach. He was blown back down the hall and slammed his bedroom door behind him. I remember thinking at this point "is this a joke?" "Was this a prank?" But after my friend took the shot, I knew it was real and remember yelling "gun!" 

I grabbed my friend and put pushed her in front of me toward the balcony. My other friend jumped 3 stories to the ground, followed by the friend that I pushed toward the door. I wasn't so lucky. Before I reached the balcony, I took a shot to the back. 

"I remember feeling like a sledge hammer had hit me. It forced me face down with an extreme force and my face smashed off the floor. I landed with my hands at my side. I wanted so badly to cover my head and 'protect' myself, but I thought I better play dead and hope he doesn't blow my head off with the next round."

 I laid there with my heart pounding and my blood rushing out of my body. Trying not to breathe. Playing dead. Praying silently that he doesn't shoot me again. The minutes felt like hours.

I heard a third shot. I assumed another one of my friends was dead. Then silence. I still tried not to breathe. I had to though. I sipped on air through my closed lips assuming this guy was staring down at me. I later found out that third shot was the shooter taking his own life. He blew his head off right beside me.

After about 15 minutes and with only a few pints of blood left in my body, the police came in. They screamed to see my hands. I tried desperately to spread my fingers. I could feel the blood soaking my hands and stomach. I screamed for them to help me. I told them I didn't want to die. I remember the fear setting in at this point. I remember the most intense pain I had ever felt tearing through my abdomen as I spoke. I was full of lead. Hundreds of tiny lead pellets from a target load shotgun shell forced throughout my midsection. The police told me to stay still. They said I would be okay. They told me help was on the way. I didn't believe it would make it in time.

When my life literally flashed before my eyes

I told them to tell my niece that I love her. I didn't think I would ever see her again. I remember what must have been the part when "your life flashes before your eyes." I envisioned myself in my backyard at my parents house. My family was there.  I was jumping into the pool and sinking into the water. It was a feeling of calm. A feeling of safety. A feeling of happiness. 

"At first I thought this feeling must have been me dying, but then I realized it was me telling myself what I have waiting for me"

I forced myself to fight. The paramedics were screaming at me to keep my eyes open. It felt impossible. I remember trying to keep my eyes open harder than I had ever tried to do anything in my life. I knew I had to do it to live. I literally had a feeling that I would pull through if  I could just keep my eyes open. So I did it. I kept my eyes open and talked to the paramedics for what felt like an eternity. The next thing I remember was hearing my parents voice in the hospital. It was two days later. I had a tube down my throat and couldn't see anything. But I knew I was safe. They gave me a pen and paper. I asked about my friends. Then I asked what the hell happened and who shot me.

Why me? 

Weeks later I found out that it was the neighbour who lived below my friend in the apartment we were shot at. He apparently had a problem with noise coming from the apartment. That was news to me. I never heard of a complaint. I didn't even know that a young man lived there, let alone had a problem with my friend and noise. 

I heard along the way that the guy had some undiagnosed mental health issues. He lived alone, with no friends, estranged from his family. He was bullied throughout his childhood. He even apparently told coworkers weeks before the attack that he was fed up with the noise at his apartment and "was going to take care of it" and that he "wasn't going to jail either." I sure wish those coworkers had said something. Who knows if it would have changed anything.

After 6 weeks in hospital, nearly 6 months off work, my spleen removed, left kidney removed, colon and bowels resected, veins and arteries re-routed, my abdominal wall rebuilt and some mental healing, I'm back to the old me, actually even better! There were some set backs along the way, mentally and physically, but I made it.

Now what? 

Now I see things differently. Not only am I thankful for every breath and everyone in my life, but I'm thankful for the little things too. That being said, I also see people differently. I feel like I understand people and their true intentions more. I feel like I can say I have been there, done that, and can see where many people are coming from in many different situations. At the same time, I dive deeper into things. I see past the outside and into the core of people, and situations. I can even now see that the shooter thought he had no options. He needed help. I wish he had received it.

I'm planning on using this blog to express these thoughts and views on a variety of topics in my life. I'm sure many of you will be able to relate to the topics I will be trying to discuss and I hope to get some good engagement and stir up some good conversations and debates. 

On the pursuit of happiness

The world is an amazing and beautiful place that cannot be taken for granted! I'm trying to understand it more each day and would love to share my journey with anyone who wants to listen! I hope to hear some feedback and am open to talking about anything!

 Let me know if you want more information or have questions about my experience or just throw some thoughts at me and lets talk about this journey together! :) 

Brandon