The "conversation among men" - father and son

The "conversation among men" is much more than just a phrase, which is smiled mildly now and then. It is the basis of the relationship between father and son. It not only shapes mutual understanding, it also affects the future. And that to the father and son.

It takes many years for a little boy to become a man who makes his or her own decisions and, at some point, even passes on his or her experience to the offspring. Until then, the father plays an important role in the son's life. The conversations between father and son not only prepare the child for later life. They also shape his self-image, his image of women, yes, in fact, even his worldview. Just as the mother plays an important role for every boy, the father fills his own. Both should stand side by side without evaluating each other.

When is man a man?

With his hit Herbert Grönemeyer succinctly put it succinctly. For a long time, maybe even always, thinking revolves around the question of what constitutes a man when a man is actually a man. Genetics and education play just as important a role as the behavior of the media and the messages of the advertising industry. But for a boy, there is only one man at first: the father. He demonstrates how a man is, at least for the son. For children it means a lot to learn from the behavior of adults, and so the son also imitates the behavior of the father and takes his views. Your son will be watching closely how you treat your wife (as well as how your wife deals with you). He does not make that out of a need of control, but because he learns from you, in the truest sense forms a woman's image. Because, first of all, your son does not know when the man is a man.

Time. Time. Le Temps. Tiempo.

It is the same everywhere, in all countries of the world - children need time. And sons need time with their father. To talk to him, to listen, to tell something, sometimes to just play and romp or be sad. They learn to lean back, but also to delineate their own personality. The role of the father is enormously important, so the time factor is so important.

• Spend enough time with your son. Take two hours of time, which are only for your boy, as more often once "in between". Because only if you take the time can arise conversations that bring something.

• Do not be the "over-father" who has an answer to all questions. Your son may (and should) learn quietly that you do not always know what to do or what answer is the right answer to a question. You can also discover or develop answers together with your son, if you like, this is the first "teamwork" for your boy.

• Hold back with criticism. In everyday life, this is not always possible because, after all, borders must be kept. This often does not work without criticism. But the conversation with your son is another frame. The point here is to show understanding, to actively listen and to show better solutions than to force a certain behavior of your son. In the best case, you even encourage him to look for solutions, together with you.

Totally of the role

Once your son is in adolescence, in most cases your hands are tied because the hormones determine where to go. Teenagers are often completely on the role when puberty comes. Nevertheless, and for that very reason, it is so important to build up a good and intense relationship with your son before that. Everything you did right in the first few years will help you in the difficult time of puberty. You will have to learn that communication is changing. Your son speaks differently, sometimes it is difficult to understand that the word "bad" means the exact opposite. Her attempt to adapt to the language is a dance on thin ice. And supposedly "loose" phrases like "What's up with a girlfriend?" Do not necessarily promote the relationship.

• Even in the puberty of your son take enough time for him, but without imposing himself.
• Especially at puberty, your son needs to feel important and being taken seriously. Criticism can have serious consequences, as many children tend to lose self-confidence during this time. Listen, ask your son how he feels, and help find solutions and boost self-confidence.
• Give your son the time to deal with the topics that you have discussed. He often takes a while to talk or talk to you again. It is about your interest in the interests of your son. On the other hand, asking too often will certainly not get you to the destination.

The "conversation among men" is only a reason for a mild smile or even meaningless if it does not take place. It forms the basis of the relationship between father and son. A life long.

Did I forget something? Can you think of any more points?
I´m looking forward to your experiences and additions.

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