But the other kids are allowed to do that!

All parents will eventually face this spell. The family rules are criticized, the argument given are the rules imposed on other children. How do you behave now? "What other children are allowed, I do not care!" -That we were even as children of our parents fed.

Today, in times of authoritative education, many parents care that children understand why certain rules apply and why this and that limit is set. So declarations instead of flat feeds are announced. To "justify" one's own upbringing methods in front of children is not always easy - but nonetheless important. By the way, your child also learns something about you: to orientate yourself more to oneself and one's own life circumstances than to what others do and consider them to be right and important.

The eternal issues between parents and children
Tina is allowed to play outside longer, Sebastian got a Gameboy at the age of seven, Tobi is allowed to watch Spiderman, although he is only eight. These and similar sayings can be found in the best families. Most of the time it's about freedom and your own decisions that children want to meet, but are still regulated by the parents. The above saying that it does not matter how others do it is not so wrong, but it is not enough to make children understand why this or that is not allowed for them. Sometimes it's easy to explain things: Tina prefers to do her homework late in the afternoon, so she has to come home early, there's a lot of violence in "Spiderman", and you do not want her own child to do it sees. Your child does not like such explanations, they can understand the reasons well. It is different when you pronounce prohibitions that you can not justify yourself, or where it is difficult to convey to the child: why Sebastian, who is already eight and a half, yet have no Gameboy? Why do not you want your child to play outside in the garden at dusk? If you get stuttered or in need of explanation, when your child is confronting them with their own parenting principles, you should start thinking.

Which limits have to be?

May your son really have no Gameboy at the age of eight? Why not? Do you reject computer games for your child? If so, you should be able to explain to him in an age appropriate way why. Nevertheless, you should consider whether this game device - of course used to the correct extent - really harms. If you come to the conclusion that this is not the case, then you can easily lift such a ban, provided that your child adheres to the agreements made.

However, you should insist on adhering to the rules that are really important to you. Do you live on a busy road? Then your six-year-old can not drive to school or to his friend's bike if you find it dangerous. Your child is completely exhausted in the morning when she goes to bed after 8:30 pm and has to go to school the next day? Then this rule also belongs to those which, except in very special cases, must be complied with. On the other hand, it is nonsensical to send a child to bed at half past eight in the evening, when it will take another hour to fall asleep anyway. As a rule of thumb: Rules must be, but they must also make sense. Whether that's the case is most obvious when your child questions it.

When may one yield?

The important thing is that you listen properly. If your child makes constructive suggestions for solutions, for example, if it is still possible to drive home from the best buddy in the evening, listen and stay open. If your offspring has good arguments, then you should not shy away from it. Older children, in particular, often have good reasons why rules that may have been put in place a few years ago make no sense. So do not be stubborn! You are doing yourself and your child a favor by showing that you respect and value your opinion.

Did I forget something? Can you think of any more points?
I´m looking forward to your experiences and additions.

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