GONG DEEPER WITH PAPA-PEPPER: The Husband
Being a husband is my second most important identity.
Amazingly, @mama-pepper and I have been married for almost 10 years already! It's amazing how time flies, but our marriage is stronger than ever and we are more in love each day.
Somehow, it seems that marriage is becoming a little rarer these days, especially just being in one marriage. Obviously everyone is free to choose how to live and how to love, but those choosing to make a monogamous lifelong commitment to one another are fewer and farther between. Personally though, I wouldn't have it any way.
My previous love life may be similar to many others. When I was young, I was in a very serious relationship with a girl that I really fell for. Unfortunately, when you take a relationship to more of an adult level physically when you only have a childish level of commitment, often your hearts are hurt. Those young hearts bleed a lot and scar hard, leaving a mess of serious emotions in the wake of the destruction of the relationship.
I know that many others have wound up in similar situations, and had similar effects on their life afterward. When I went through it, I went farther into drugs and alcohol, and cared far less about relationships. They became more physical and less emotional, and when one went sour, I would simply move on to the next, not caring too much.
I think that rather than waiting to be serious and sexual until we grow and develop to a level where we can make real commitments and deal with a relationship emotionally, we live in a society that encourages us to try what we can while we can. Sex matters so little anymore and in a lot of ways isn't anything special or cherished. It's just another "fun" activity to engage in when we are bored, often with whoever we can find.
Thankfully, this is not the case for everyone or every relationship, but it is more and more common each day. Kids are acting like grownups physically and their young minds and hearts are often warped or scarred for life, and that life becomes filled with lame attempt after lame attempt to heal the hurt. These, of course, are just my perceptions, and I reserve the right not to be accurate, but at the moment, I believe them to be true.
Anyway, when I met @mama-pepper, I was still living a alcohol-fueled, drug-laced, carefree, promiscuous lifestyle. Life had become one giant party, and I hoped to die by thirty. I was deep into all that I was involved with, and my "recreational" drug use was basically all day, every day, so life had become "recreational."
When I first met @mama-pepper, I wasn't too concerned... until I heard that she was interest in me. She was young and naive, and getting involved with me would have been the biggest mistake of her life. Yet, she found me to be interesting and thought that she could make me happy.
I WAS TERRIFIED!!!
Why the terror on my end? I knew that I could really go for her, and that I could fall for her. Falling in love was NOT something that I did anymore. To fall in love is to expose yourself to a whole world of emotions that can turn terribly painful in a moment, and I had become wiser than that. It was better not to feel love than to feel love that could turn to serious pain, so I avoided it at all costs.
Still, this young woman wanted to get to know me. This meant that she would follow me to after-work parties. I would be chain-smoking, guzzling beers, getting high and snorting certain substances; and she would just watch and try to talk to me to get to know me.
Once, she asked me while I did all those things (the drugs and alcohol.) I basically told her that the world was a terrible, messed up place. I guess I missed how terrible and messed up I had become, and that I certainly was not making anything better!
Anyway, I excused myself from the "relationship" that I was in at the time and asked @mama-pepper if she would be my girl. That was September 22nd, 2006. One year later, we were married. Thankfully, marrying me did not prove itself to be the biggest regret of her life, though it would have been if it were not for one key thing.
The "thing" that happened was that we both received Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior in pre-marriage counselling. This began my exodus from a life full of crime, lies, drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and all sorts of other self-destructive activity.
If it were not for this event, I know full well that I would be divorced by now, and who knows what would have happened to my children. There would certainly be fewer of them, or, if I still had as many, they would not all be with the same mother. I am also quite certain that there is absolutely, positively NO WAY that I would have been faithful for all these years. That alone could have ended our marriage. Yes, thankfully the cheating and lying are over with these days too.
Anyway, when I now consider who I am as the husband of @mama-pepper, it makes me extremely grateful for the life that I now have. What a gift all of it truly is, her included! These days, I love spending time with one woman, my wife, and she fulfills all of my needs. With the emotional and physical relationship that we have, and the commitment to the Lord and to one another that we share, our marriage is a very rewarding and satisfying place to be.
By investing year after year in the same relationship with the same person, you can reap a lifetime of returns on that investment, and that is my goal.
I'll share more about marriage and my role as a husband as time continues, but I thought that it would be good to give you all a little more background on our relationship. You guys get more of the current events some days, so I wanted to back things up a bit.
Just know that "husband" isn't just another name assigned to @papa-pepper, it is one of the most important roles that I have, and being a spouse is really a lifestyle in itself. Thanks once again for your time, and I hope that you have enjoyed this series sharing more about who @papa-pepper really is. Below are the links for the previous posts in this series.
STEEMIT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!
TO CHECK OUT THE PREVIOUS POSTS IN THIS SERIES, CLICK THE LINKS BELOW:
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: INTRODUCTION
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: THE WILD-MAN
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: THE GARDENER
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: THE ENCOURAGER
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: THE HOMESTEADER
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: THE LYRICIST
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: THE DEEP THINKER
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: THE PAPA
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: THE HUMORIST
FOLLOW
Being our 54th anniversary today may I suggest that iit will only get better for you. As they say "the first fifty years are the worst, then you get used to it ".
That's great news!!! I'll tell @mama-pepper tomorrow!
You just keep it up and we won't catch up!
Happy Anniversary :)
That's awesome that you shared all of that! I had a similar background. I still have a lot of improvements to make, but the Good Lord is working on me and helping me out. Somehow, my wife has stayed with me for eight years.
Most of all, I want to thank you for openly declaring your faith in Christ. I know that Jesus isn't popular, but believers like you and I have to go on proclaiming His name, regardless of any consequences. It's not an easy task in a fallen, ungodly world, but it is what we are called to do. Take care!
Well said, from ICP to JC, we sure have some similar times in our lives!
Indeed!
Pouring that heart out. Thanks for keeping it real because being a Spouse is a lifestyle.
Indeed and agreed!
I'll keep it as real as I know how!
Great True Story.
Thanks, and I am glad that you enjoyed it @awgbibb!
All those years before meeting @mama-pepper was practise for when you met Mrs right :)
what a great wedding photo and beautiful couple
Thanks, it was a happy day to be sure... looks like we crossed posts!
Great posts. When do we get to the really fun times long term couples have?
That looks like a good start!
wOOOOhOOOO
If that's the case Steemians have some fun times ahead with you.
UP the Votage > We can take it.
Great love story, @papa-pepper! Thanks for sharing your marriage and your faith with all your readers. May you and @mama-pepper have a long, fruitful, and joyous life together! Along with lots and lots of @little-peppers. 😄😇😄
Thank you so much for that!
It just goes to show what the love of a good woman can do ;-)
And from what little you have said about @mama-pepper, she is amazing!
I'm coming up on five years married so an amazing woman myself, so I know what it's like :-)
I'm very glad life has taken the turn it did for you, and her, and that you are now in our lives. You are a marvelous role model and a shining light for those who can't see a way out of their situation.
You are living proof that there is a way, it can be done, it can be incredible.
You just have to believe.
As my dad said above - 54 married years to the same woman, and still going strong. You have all that to look forward to :-)