GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA-PEPPER: The Papa
If you would have told me in my younger days that one day I would have five children, I probably would have asked, “With how many different women?”
It probably would have taken some time to convince me that I would even have that many children, but one I was convinced, it probably wouldn’t have even registered that having them all with the same woman was a possibility. Or, having them all in wedlock.
With the old life I used to live, marriage was an enemy and children were an inconvenience. These were two things that I had no intention of ever allowing in my life. Relationships can be hard, so it was best not to invest too much in them, and children can be a lot to deal with.
As I reflect back on my life these days, I’m amazed at where I now am. To be faithfully married for almost a decade and to have my fifth child on the way would have been inconceivable thoughts not all that many years ago, yet, here I am, and I am loving it.
Personally, I do not believe that I can take the credit for any of this. Sure, I had a role to play in the situation, but it is Jesus Christ who made the real difference. Without Him, my marriage would already be over and without Him, I would be a terrible papa.
I know that opinions vary, but this is the honest reality as I see it. I was a very selfish and self-centered man before, and that tendency is disastrous in relationships. This is one reason that I never wanted children before. When you have another person to care for, it is harder to live for yourself.
That said, things have been quite interesting in my more recent life. First of all, I am very thankful that I have never really had my own goals when it came to children. For instance, if I had really wanted a son, then my first two daughters would have been disappointments to me. If I had wanted one girl and one boy, then my second daughter would have been a disappointment to me.
I am not saying that other people are selfish for desiring to have a son or a daughter, but when their desires get in the way of reality and little children bear the brunt of their disappointment just because of which gender they were born, there is a problem, and it is not the child.
This willingness to simply receive what the Lord will give us has been a blessing. This way, no matter who the child is that is born unto us, we can rejoice and it receive the child willingly. If it’s a girl, great! If it’s a boy, great! For those of you who are yet to have children out there, I’d recommend attempting to have this mindset. Don’t get hung up on what type of child you want to have, just receive what you are given and be glad.
This mindset has also been applied to the number of children that we have. Many people think that five children is a lot. Compared to some other families, it may be a larger number, but, then again, there are other families with a lot more children than us. In fact, we just spent the weekend in St. Louis with some friends who have fourteen children.
Some of you may need a moment to process that, so I’ll pause. The first thought that many have when larger numbers of offspring are mentioned is that is must be complete chaos. In reality, if the children are raised and instructed properly, ten or twenty can be more obedient than a single child who wasn’t. I once had someone comment that they would rather watch all of my children than one of someone else’s. More recently, a young man commented on how well behaved my children were. I told him that we had no other option.
When it comes to these little ones, some would say that because of the overpopulation of the earth, we shouldn’t have so many. I still have to personally do the math, and perhaps I will soon, but I’ve heard that if you put the entire human population of the earth in the state of Texas, it would only be as densely populated as the city of Paris. Yet, people still travel to Paris…. Hmm….
Anyway, we are still of the mindset that we will receive what children we are given, and so far, there isn’t a single one that we would send back. Ultimately, we believe that children are a blessing, and not a curse. If the only people who had a lot of offspring were those who don’t care and contribute to the problems in this world, then this world will get exceedingly worse at a rapid rate.
I know that many people worry about pollution and our carbon footprint, but just like many properly trained children can behave much better than one unruly child, if children are brought up and taught to look at things in a certain way, they can have far less of a negative impact on the world that we live in. Ultimately, it becomes more of an issue of how we choose to live our lives and what lifestyle we live, and not a matter of how many people live upon the earth.
I think that it is also worth mentioning that @mama-pepper and I have no goal to have an incredibly large family. If that happens, then it does. If not, then not. We will simply just do the best that we can with what we have.
In reflection, I must also point out that I was a dad long before my heart was really turned towards my children. Sure, there was a normal care and affection for them, but they were not as much of my focus at first. These days, I realize that my time with each of them is extremely limited in the grand scheme of things, and that right now is the only moment that I can be absolutely sure that I have to invest in them.
Regardless of what I do as a parent, these @little-peppers will be part of the next generation. It is my personal choice to determine how exactly I will interact with them. For me, I want them to have an understanding of the world around them. I want to feed their little minds and encourage their creativity. Time and time again we have gone out of the way to answer questions and explore interests that they have.
These days, they are learning many skills as well. I started gardening in my thirties. I started grafting and propagating plants as an adult. My children can now grow up with that knowledge and apply it later if they desire to. Also, the skills and knowledge that I have sped a lifetime developing I can pass onto them right now, and they can learn from my years of experience.
FINAL THOUGHTS
No matter what happens, I am now a papa. No matter what my children do or where they go, only I can be their biological father. There is a relationship both genetically and in the daily life, and I believe that there is a sobering responsibility that comes with it.
Whatever I once was, and whatever I may become, I am also a papa, dad, father, or whatever one chooses to call it. It has now forever become part of my identity and who I am.
For @papa-pepper, being a papa is not just another thing that I have to do… it is part of my identity that I fully embrace.
FULL STEEM AHEAD!
TO CHECK OUT THE PREVIOUS POSTS IN THIS SERIES, CLICK THE LINKS BELOW:
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: INTRODUCTION
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: THE WILD-MAN
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: THE GARDENER
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: THE ENCOURAGER
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: THE HOMESTEADER
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: THE LYRICIST
GOING DEEPER WITH PAPA: THE DEEP THINKER
FOLLOW
@papa-pepper
please tell my dad that hahahaha - he was frustrated having just girls ..
Yes, i think you are a good papa and so are the many others here like your twin for example and maybe many more.
I totally agree that children are blessings from God and those who go astray - psychology proves its their parents that's mostly contributed to what they became so yes parenting is a huge role I passed on a chance being one a long time ago not because I'm selfish and just want to have fun but because I wasn't sure I'd do a great job and now am not that young anymore so no thank you am fine childless - there are so many children around me to love anyway. If I were to have a child though I have always wanted a boy but had God given me a girl I would love her the same way I would have - a son.. I guess my inheritance from God comes later - and that's fine too hahaha
You just point your dad this way, I'll tell him!
Loving children is a great opportunity, even if they are not your own! I have a lot of fun with other ones too, and often, kids just need it! Excellent reply!
@papa-pepper hahaha my father is more stubborn than I am
but I can't blame him .. we're all hard headed gals so he sure had and must still be having a hard time but he's fine with it now I guess..
Yes, I love hugging kids they are very warm plus no prejudice ! Yes, most kids need that but when they get to adolescent it changes .. we did, too didn't we!
Lucky kids of yours for having such a loving papa!
Thanks for sharing this insight of your family. It's posts like this that make Steemit a community rather than a social media platform.
You are welcome, and thank you for that!
with how many women lol made me laugh and are those your dreads????
5X dreadie here!
This is a great post. I think parenthood should be talked about more often than it is - in a meaningful way. I grew up not having ever met my biological father, but was raised by my step-father. I finally met my biological father at the age of 18 - as my high school graduation present from my mother. I love both of my fathers - but although I have two - there simply is no replacement for growing up with your biological father. There are certain aspects that were missing from my relationship with my step-father, and not even getting to meet my biological father until I was 18 - left sort of a void there, too.
Congrats to you and your family - you have something really special and unfortunately becoming increasingly rare. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for that sincere, honest and encouraging comment.
Increasingly rare indeed, and it's a miracle that that's how my life has gone. We want to do the best that we can for these @little-peppers, and that certainly includes both of us always being there for our children.
That one hit home. I totally embrace fatherhood and parenthood.
It sure looks like you do! Way to go!
This post has been ranked within the top 10 most undervalued posts in the first half of Feb 21. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $13.79 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.
See the full rankings and details in The Daily Tribune: Feb 21 - Part I. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in our initial post.
If you are the author and would prefer not to receive these comments, simply reply "Stop" to this comment.
You're doing a great job :)
Beautiful Family!
Good job Papa
It was a nice story with beautiful family pictures. It was so good.
Thank you very much @bontonstory!
Indeed, raising kids is a sobering responsibility!