What is happiness?
They say happiness lies on the moments, on those little everyday things that we consider non-important and yet influence our mood and life. This is a post about happiness, in a try to define what it really is.
Happy cookies at a bakery in Rome
What do you personally consider a happy moment?
Is it a nice cup of coffee?
Maybe a cool TV show?
A coffee break with a dear friend and nice desserts?
Or even alone?
Perhaps doing what you love, like painting as I do sometimes?
Initially translation of the Greek 'eudaimonia', Happiness basically means 'good life' or 'well-being' as mentioned in Psychology. It can also mean, 'quality of life' (therefore 'good'), contentment or satisfying way of living. Sounds simple? Well, it's not - because even the simplest 'happy' sides of everyday life, sometimes it's hard to get.
As the dictionary defines, Happiness the quality or state of being happy and or good fortune, pleasure and joy [http://www.dictionary.com/browse/happiness] So, how do we really get all those in a simple everyday life and a boring routine? Is this why there are only happy moments and not really happy life? Is that even true or are we doing it all wrong?
The 1998 movie 'Happiness' [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0147612/] with the lovely (and unfortunately late - so young :/ ) Philip Seymour Hoffman, focuses on human connection as part of happiness. Indeed, maybe happiness has to do mostly with our inter-personal relationships and love. On the other hand, all kinds of different religions focus on a pretty much 'content and non-sinful life' or -even worse- a life as such that will lead to Paradise, after death...
So many books written about it, plays, art works inspired by it, blogs keep mumbling on about it as if it's something we can grab, just like that. Can we?
Denmark is repeatedly stated as the (or one of) the happiest nations in the World. You know where they base that opinion? On statistics. Yes, you heard me. In Denmark, there's a low unemployment rate, free (most of the times) education and free (again, most of the times) health care. So you have to be happy, right? Well, no - I don't think it works that way. There is even a Happiness Research Institute based -guess where- in Denmark [https://www.happinessresearchinstitute.com/] and one of the frequent asked questions on their webpage is "Why does Denmark often do well in the happiness rankings?", where there's the report of those results about the -supposedly- 'Happy (and very often divorced) Danes'...
Fellow Steemian @outerground recently wrote about the Meaning of Life. And yes, maybe if we focus on that, and we realize how small we are in the Universe, we might appreciate our moments. But, searching for the magic recipe of Happiness? I don't think we'll ever find it, simply because we are all so different and unique, so the notion of happiness varies for each one of us.
A quick Google search on Happiness will give you an idea of what's out there, but no, it won't answer the question of what it is (or how to find it) per se. There are tests to measure your happiness [http://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/science-of-happiness/happiness-quiz/] but they don't really respond to what to do if my results come back negative. There's no remedy for unhappiness or medicine to become happy now is there? As a challenge I will take this test though, and if any of you does as well, can't wait to hear about what you got out of that.
Browsing around to find my answers I bumped into this movement called Action for Happiness which is composed by "people committed to building a happier and more caring society." As they mention on the homepage their goal is "to see a fundamentally different way of life - where people care less about what they can get just for themselves and more about the happiness of others." At http://www.actionforhappiness.org/ there's also the option 'Unhappy?' - I clicked on it to see what's this about and apparently there you can find all kinds of support and ways to 'conquer' Happiness. Is that all it takes?
Then again, this is how positive psychology was born in the first place - in the chase of Happiness.
I'm sorry if I'm not giving any concrete answers of what happiness is or how to get there, but that wasn't the point of this post to start with. It is just food for thought, exchange of views, and a weak effort to define it. Maybe though, the answer lies in Ancient Greece and what Thucydides, an Athenian historian, once said:
"The secret to happiness is freedom...and the secret to freedom is courage"
Did Ancient Greeks had it figured out hundreds of years ago and we're just struggling for nothing? If so, why our 'free' country is now falling apart?
Again, food for thought...
Until very recently I used to be one of the most positive and -yes why not?- people I knew, but then life happened and lost some of my positivism and hopes - maybe it is time to recover though, and that goes to whoever feels in the same place. What do you say? ;)
I hope you enjoyed this post, long and complicated as it was, and I'll use once again my steemit moto, more powerful and relevant than ever: Don't forget to smile!
*All pictures were taken with my LG Spirit phone and to some I added filters. A few of them were previously published on my instagram account, which you can check out if you like - I post different stuff than here ;) @photography_nomad Penny D :)
https://www.instagram.com/photography_nomad/ But this post wasn't about the pictures anyway ;)
"happiness lies on the moments"..So True !
The problem is many people dont have the time to even recognize this little moments, cause to busy, to much in need to get the rent and living together ( or paying the loan rate for the car...lol )..
AND you have to accept that Hapiness is not a concept that will last for ever, it goes up and down like the cryto currencies markets...Haha
The last very very happy moment I remember was, when I was at a party at the beach in Sihanookville and regognized all people danced like crazy in THEIR FligFlops, like me...That Flip Flop Dancing Moment was soooo nice..
And this is my 1984th post, important number for me since it's the year I was born, and I wanted on purpose to comment on this last so I get my 1984 ;)
Yes, I completely agree with you. Drowned in our everyday problems and routine we often forget (how) to enjoy the simple pleasures in life - which is sad, but usually happens.
Ahahaha the comparison to crypto is the best and yes, this is how it works! You can't be happy all the time unless you're on drugs or something... (not the best solution haha)
I'm trying to picture it and it does seem nice :D See? That's what I mean, little stuff, cute stuff, that we still remember though and they don't just pass by like that ;) Thanks for your comment fellow gypsy, let's all work for a happier world (and a steemit without spammers :P ) ;) Enjoy your weekend!
So, update! To all of you upvoting and commenting on this post, I took the test I'm mentioning here and I didn't get much interpretation of the results:
"You have collected 62 out of 115 points.
You are practicing many life skills that contribute to your happiness.
The great news is that, by learning new skills (and a little work can go a long way), you can make yourself even happier."
<3
I remember once seeing a few children coming down mangos passing branch and branch all dirty and wearing clothes worn ... The mom shouting them to get off because they could fall !! I don´t know how many times I thought that those children were experiencing true happiness without sometimes having to eat or to dress ... while I get closer to 30 years old I only see myself with my laptop, my suitcase and some clothes and nothing else, And in a country where I still cannot get out ... I'm always the object of mockery in the sense that I'm not waiting to find a girlfriend I'm not interested in doing what Dominicans do, I always think of everything I experience as a child Running alone through the mountains every afternoon and looking for new places to discover ... I sat down to eat Cashews and could read biology books that were the only ones we had .. so what is happiness? I saw my uncle very sick and stressed because he could not have more than 3 cars because he didn´t have to have his luxuries ... sometimes our same way of thinking creates the parameters of happiness .... happiness is so close but To be really happy you have to live and suffer too ... what is happiness for me? Freedom ... and true love? Offer freedom ..... the small moments like painting, have coffee are incredible even write you this comment made me happy and I don´t know when I ceases to exist.
One of my dearest Steemians... Thanks for this comment @yusaymon ... I'm glad you liked it and that it made you happy reading it! I wasn't that happy writing it, rather sad, but I feel a bit better now, seeing this!
Indeed, through everything you describe (and similar or not so similar stories I could tell) we can see, as another friend of mine commented, that happiness is very personal, very unique for each of us, it's not a labeled milk carton you just go and buy at the supermarket. Happiness for me -as silly and altruistic as it sounds - would be to see everyone happy! But when, my closest people are not, how can I be? :/
Happy Cookie
and Heart in Coffee
<3 <3 <3
Hehe, this equals happiness right? :D
Not Only Happiness
This is Life
Little Things that makes on Happy and Joyful....
Yes,
This Exactly is Life :D
Very positive and minimalistic -just like your pictures ;) Thank you for that :)
Where do you get all this energy to type this fast...
You are making me catch-up too...
haha
Energy Transfer?
ahahaha I'm a fast typer, guilty as charged ;)
maybe maybe! Here's some energy - there :D
Thank you.
And I thank The Stars for "Replies Notifications are back" and my timeline is "Lively Again".
maybe too lively :P You know, women, I was whining when there were no notifications, now I'm whining because I get them all and it's too much :P I don't know what I want, how can I ever find happiness hahaha!!!
Buddha said something along the lines of 'attachment is the root of suffering' which means desire, wants etc. 'I want you, without you I can't be happy', 'I love you, if you leave me, I can't be happy', 'Without an ice cream from Nyhavn, I can't be happy', I was hurt as a child, so I can't be happy'
There are many types of attachments but essentially say, 'I can only be happy if some condition is met'. The problem is that we have conflicting desires. I want to be independent/I need to be loved. I don't care what people think/do you like my hair? I love this feeling, I don't' want it to end but, I want to do something else.
Silly examples but these competing desires mean we are in a constant battle with ourselves and even if we satisfy one, we then crave the other. This is why Happiness is when thought, word and action align. It is an internal process only and tied specifically to the moment as in the next, thought, word and action change again without any resistance to hold on to the old, or expectation of the new. Sensitive only to the moment.
Desires though are never in the moment. They are past or future based. 'Something happened I will hold onto' is past. Something I want to happen, future. Essentially though, the past and the future do not actually exist, they are an illusion of the mind.
So, happiness can only be found in the now as that is where there is no past or future desires. In the moment, even in very bad situations, ask yourself 'Am I okay now?' The answer is nearly always yes because in the now, there is no electricity bill, nor abusive father from the past etc.
So, whatever happiness is, it is not found in the getting of stuff or even achievement of 'success' as that gives pleasure. It is not found in the memory of good times either but that may bring comfort. It is not found in security as there is no such thing. So, if not past or future, it can only be in the now.
The hard part is practicing how to be 'present' and ignore all of the meaningless distractions that society sells as must-haves.
:)
Wise answer as usual and of course I didn't expect anything less from you!
I do have trouble living in the present that's why probably I never feel what we call 'happy'. Joyful moments maybe yes, but lifetime happiness is a long way.
Did you use the ice cream from Nyhavn example in random or because you know I live in Copenhagen??? :D
I'm taking a Psychology course of Wesleyan University in Connecticut, about Memory and how it works, and indeed most of our possible future as we see it, is basically projections of what happened to us in the past - and it's normal, but it can destroy and future with great potential.
No, I just really liked having ice creams there :)
It would be interesting to learn how memory works because ...I can't remember what I was saying.
Happiness I think is more of a symptom of conditions. Create the environment that supports it and it will be the result which is most likely removing attachments. It doesn't mean that you can't buy or enjoy material things or other people, it just means that you do not identify yourself with them. You are you, with or without them.
It sounds harsh but it is actually the nature for love also. Condition-less. When you need someone to be there for your happiness, you will do whatever is required to keep them. That includes lie and manipulate.
My God how do you know about ice creams in Nyhavn haha!!! I never tried them -quite yet ;)
Memory is such a complicated issue. I'll make a separate post soon and let you know ;)
It is a symptom of conditions, I totally agree!
I am a material girl in general but, as in the movie, for me happiness lies mostly on human relations and love - I'm a love person, guilty as charged...
But yeah, I hear you about the lies...and manipulation...I'll go into your Violence post soon, can't wait to read it! :)
I have played games and even danced in Bakken and had a drink (only a drink) in Freetown. I get around ;)
I guess in Christiania there are more interesting stuff than drinks ahahahaha!!! Seriously, there's a café where they make the best chocolate cake! (yes,I mean actual chocolate cake, the dessert :D) But yeah, you seem very knowledgeable ;) Haven't been to Bakken either yet :/
I thought Bakken was where all the locals go.
My wife ruined Christiania and then Amsterdam too ;)
Ahahaha good job!!! :D
Yeah, the locals do go but it's kind of far so busy bees stay in the city and go at Bakken Bar in the Meatpacking District, in the city center, instead muahahaha! :D
Besides, I'm not a Dane - I live here for the last 3 years so I don't know how much I count as a 'local'... ;)
100% upvote & a resteem. Excellent quality post on what is happiness. I think you're right. we're a society obsessed with happiness and I was listening recently to a talk by someone who was in the field of developmental psychology and she was saying that so many times when she asks people what do they want for their kids.. they always say "I want them to be happy" and she never heard what she thought was the right answer. I want them to be able to feel confident in their decision making abilities and stand up on their own two feet believing in themselves. because it's a road or a path towards or away from .. the idealism of happiness. Happy is as happy does. It's more often expressed by the lack of ability to reach out and touch it. what makes you happy. a very complex blend of neurotransmitters responding to an unending cacophony of ideas & influences which science barely understands. good health is a kind of happiness and so is love, purpose, belonging, community, relaxation, holidays, achievements, friendship, art, discovery, adventure, comprehension, mindblowing facts, new moves, a new skill perfected, good food, beautiful music.. all of these things can create in their own way a contribution towards a state of positive feeling..
and remember, it's also a choice. we can co-create happiness, Penny between every single one of us, we can make happiness come true :) if we remember we are an important character in a thousands plays, novels, films, not just the star in our own one.. that to me is the essence of discovering one of the meanings of life and that is tantamount to happiness
Thank you for this answer! You got the essence of my post! (not that I ever had a doubt...)
You said the magic phrase: The idealism of happiness! Indeed! It's like 'The One' for women, that non-existing perfect man... Same with the perfect life and perfect job and perfect house and so on (@tarazkp made a similar post today that we talked about already, on perfectionism).
I don't know how much is a choice...but then again, as a natural Drama Queen (and redhead haha) probably I do choose the Drama over happy moments often... (@creutzy knows what I'm talking about...and I thank him for his patience with me...)
But yes, I guess if we really want to we can create it...and what the hell, we will! :D
the funny thing is there is a perfect house and perfect job and a perfect partner; a perfect life. If I listed all those things out millions of people would chop off their left arm to swap with me, I know that.. and from a perspective of making choices and a bit of luck, yes I do have the perfect life, I am very happy and it's mostly down to the 3 amazing women I live with, the amazing parents who raised me, the amazing siblings I've got and the amazing opportunities I've had to live the life I've had. and believe me, you can never truly appreciate the notion of JOY if you've never been really SAD.. a relative concept of experience. lefties are generally extra sensitive to it !
I totally agree - you certainly have to pass through the rocky road to appreciate the calm beach after that...I don't know if the term for the beach is 'perfect' but it sure is 'matching' for you, personally.
Also, what you mention in the end, very important, and most people -including me - often forget about it: Be grateful for what you have.
When you put it this way, I am grateful for most things in my life. My family, my friends, my boyfriend... but then the routine comes and we tend to put aside things we take for granted and whine for the little stuff (at least we women do that a lot :P )
You know when my wake up call comes? In 2 cases: a. when I lose someone (literally - death - or metaphorically - breaking up/moving away) and b. when I see someone, whichever age or situation, on a wheelchair. Especially in the 2nd case, I feel like stardust, as you said. I feel so small, so worthless, so 'stop whining you idiot about your stupid life which is perfect and look at this'... But unfortunately this doesn't last long, clearly...nothing does... But here we are, trying to make the world a better place :)
even simpler than that perhaps is that every moment you've experienced (so far) is the sum total of so MUCH energy expended, pain, sacrifice the WHOLE OF THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE has experienced just so we can walllow... nah, the point of my story about the history of the universe was really an attempt to point out how much has been done for us to just experience this that any thing less than your full 100% appreciation for our lives would seem rather contemptuous, no matter how difficult it might seem !!
I think very few people appreciate the sum of energy of the whole universe assigned to them, specifically. But if I haven't done it so far, I'll start doing it more now for sure ;)
I don't think you can truly define happiness. To each their own. But money and services sure help.
For me, it's going out with friends, enjoying some good (for my tastes) music or movies, playing an interesting game, or reading about some cool new discoveries or tech.
That's the struggle isn't it? There's no concrete definition, that's why it's difficult to achieve it!
As a fellow Steemian said, simple stuff...is it there where happiness lies there when I'm looking for the impossible?
We're all different. It can be difficult or not depending on what your wants are. But anything once reached, you'll want something else... So it's endless ... so in that sense... sure it's difficult, hell, impossible :)
Vicious circle, I know right? Yep, I hear ya and completely agree... F*** that :(
Or just don't overthink it. Be happy and enjoy what you have :)
Always strive for more, but don't beat yourself up about it
Easy to say, hard to do, but excellent advice :)
I know it's not easy. Life ain't easy. Just saying, seems like a good mindset :)
Agreed! I'll try to apply that starting tomorrow :)
A great post happiness I feel is almost impossible to define as what brings happiness is dependent on the persons what may bring happiness to me may be boring to someone else
But I think many miss it focusing on money or the big things in life and I feel often it comes from the smaller things in life that many miss
Thank you my dear and yes, I totally agree on that - there's no such thing as 'objective happiness' - Happiness is different for every one of us as we are different from each other and unique ourselves. Money is a big trap when talking about happiness. They say 'money can't buy happiness but it can rent some' - and yes, that is indeed true. But when you're at the bed of pain and death, does your bank account really matter?
We keep missing joyful stuff every single day so the best thing to do is focus on those little things you say! :)
I did enjoy that post. Thucydides knew secret...that's it and we all make it so much more complicated. Hugs
It seems so right? :) I think I actually need to start seeing it this way and then everything will become so much simpler! :) Hugs back, from Denmark!
I could write a novella on this...so many thoughts!
But firstly, I agree that a baseline for happiness requires that our most basic needs are met - food, health and shelter. Without these it's very tough to get out of desperation.
Given this, then next are the also basic needs of love, community and meaningful purpose in life and this is where contemporary life falls short. We think that finding the love of our lives will give us that happiness we've always wanted, that the perfect job will fill the void, and if we just had a better family etc..., but I believe that this misses the point. In order for any of these things to bring happiness, our relationship within ourselves must be alive, growing, healthy and resilient. Then yes we can love more freely and fully, give more fully to our life purpose, and enjoy liife more!
Lastly, happiness is usually defined as a feeling, but I think it's an action (not passive). We create happiness via engagement with ourselves and our lives!
Anyway, today that's my thinking but it's always a work in progress!
ps. my family is Danish and I have always been suspect of all the happiness research about Denmark. Danes are bouyant and chipper but that's not the same thing as happiness if you know what i mean and I suspect you do given what you've said here, but that's another conversation.
Thanks for the thought provoking post!
I'm enjoying your mini novella comment right now! :D Thank you so much for that!!!
I like how you put priorities - that's the secret of being happy actually. First, the necessary, then the pleasant and then whatever else comes along ;)
You are completely right that happiness is an action more than a feeling even though we think we feel it! It is certainly an active chase of what we want in our lives!
You family is Danish?!?!?!? :D :D :D My God, how many more things am I going to love about you!!! I think you did mentioned something about Denmark but vaguely! And yes, I get what you mean...I live long enough here to starting to understand a bit how the Danes think...
Provoking in a good way I hope haha! :D
And listen, I still want those mugs!!! It doesn't matter when they get here :D :D :D