Buddha said something along the lines of 'attachment is the root of suffering' which means desire, wants etc. 'I want you, without you I can't be happy', 'I love you, if you leave me, I can't be happy', 'Without an ice cream from Nyhavn, I can't be happy', I was hurt as a child, so I can't be happy'
There are many types of attachments but essentially say, 'I can only be happy if some condition is met'. The problem is that we have conflicting desires. I want to be independent/I need to be loved. I don't care what people think/do you like my hair? I love this feeling, I don't' want it to end but, I want to do something else.
Silly examples but these competing desires mean we are in a constant battle with ourselves and even if we satisfy one, we then crave the other. This is why Happiness is when thought, word and action align. It is an internal process only and tied specifically to the moment as in the next, thought, word and action change again without any resistance to hold on to the old, or expectation of the new. Sensitive only to the moment.
Desires though are never in the moment. They are past or future based. 'Something happened I will hold onto' is past. Something I want to happen, future. Essentially though, the past and the future do not actually exist, they are an illusion of the mind.
So, happiness can only be found in the now as that is where there is no past or future desires. In the moment, even in very bad situations, ask yourself 'Am I okay now?' The answer is nearly always yes because in the now, there is no electricity bill, nor abusive father from the past etc.
So, whatever happiness is, it is not found in the getting of stuff or even achievement of 'success' as that gives pleasure. It is not found in the memory of good times either but that may bring comfort. It is not found in security as there is no such thing. So, if not past or future, it can only be in the now.
The hard part is practicing how to be 'present' and ignore all of the meaningless distractions that society sells as must-haves.
:)
Wise answer as usual and of course I didn't expect anything less from you!
I do have trouble living in the present that's why probably I never feel what we call 'happy'. Joyful moments maybe yes, but lifetime happiness is a long way.
Did you use the ice cream from Nyhavn example in random or because you know I live in Copenhagen??? :D
I'm taking a Psychology course of Wesleyan University in Connecticut, about Memory and how it works, and indeed most of our possible future as we see it, is basically projections of what happened to us in the past - and it's normal, but it can destroy and future with great potential.
No, I just really liked having ice creams there :)
It would be interesting to learn how memory works because ...I can't remember what I was saying.
Happiness I think is more of a symptom of conditions. Create the environment that supports it and it will be the result which is most likely removing attachments. It doesn't mean that you can't buy or enjoy material things or other people, it just means that you do not identify yourself with them. You are you, with or without them.
It sounds harsh but it is actually the nature for love also. Condition-less. When you need someone to be there for your happiness, you will do whatever is required to keep them. That includes lie and manipulate.
My God how do you know about ice creams in Nyhavn haha!!! I never tried them -quite yet ;)
Memory is such a complicated issue. I'll make a separate post soon and let you know ;)
It is a symptom of conditions, I totally agree!
I am a material girl in general but, as in the movie, for me happiness lies mostly on human relations and love - I'm a love person, guilty as charged...
But yeah, I hear you about the lies...and manipulation...I'll go into your Violence post soon, can't wait to read it! :)
I have played games and even danced in Bakken and had a drink (only a drink) in Freetown. I get around ;)
I guess in Christiania there are more interesting stuff than drinks ahahahaha!!! Seriously, there's a café where they make the best chocolate cake! (yes,I mean actual chocolate cake, the dessert :D) But yeah, you seem very knowledgeable ;) Haven't been to Bakken either yet :/
I thought Bakken was where all the locals go.
My wife ruined Christiania and then Amsterdam too ;)
Ahahaha good job!!! :D
Yeah, the locals do go but it's kind of far so busy bees stay in the city and go at Bakken Bar in the Meatpacking District, in the city center, instead muahahaha! :D
Besides, I'm not a Dane - I live here for the last 3 years so I don't know how much I count as a 'local'... ;)
Oh, that's right. Was it Polish? I can''t remember. Perhaps after you write your post on memory it will come to me :D