Hit me with your best birthday puns, jokes, meme's, roasts, etc!

2 months ago

“There is still no cure for the common birthday." ~ John Glenn
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"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." ~ Larry Lorenzoni
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“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age." ~ Lucille Ball

In honor of my upcoming birthday on Monday, I would like all the fun and funny birthday stuff you can throw at me!

The funnier the better, laughter is the best gift you can give someone!

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And don't worry about offending me, I have big shoulders ;)

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I am in need of some good birthday fun, so hit me with all you've got!

Forget a Womans Birthday Never Kick in the Pants Belated Birthday Late  Funny LOL Happy Icon Icons Emoticon Emoticons Animated Animation Animations Gif Gifs Happy birthday photo 22f2f87d.gif

I dare thee!

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animated-arrow-image-0314 Minnows! You Have More Power Than You Realize

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I love you guys, I really do :) And I truly appreciate your support :)

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Happy Birthday! It's not polite but I had a couple beers with dinner, I'm gonna say you are now 34. So happy 34th and congrats on leveling up! Who's gonna give out the 34 birthday spankings?

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Thanks! Hmmmm..... Now that's a loaded question.....

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My favorite kind...

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I lived in TX for a few years. Everything's gotta be bigger and flashier ;)

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You know it! What part of Texas?

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I worked for a publishing company who moved me down there. But I traveled all over the state, lived in hotel rooms 85% of my time- HQ was Austin.

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I did the whole travel for work thing. One night a give start hotel, next night in a job site sleeping in my truck. No thanks...

Publishing company huh? Now I know who to send my book to when I finish it.

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It was a fun time in my life :) But not something I would have done forever.

That publishing house went under some time ago. I am strictly a writer now :)

Tell me about your book!

happy womb escape day

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Yes! Although, from what I hear, that womb is a wonderful place to be... Must be why everyone screams bloody murder upon being evicted ;)

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Happy Birthday! (That's all I got...)

Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by ArbitraryKitten from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews/crimsonclad, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows and creating a social network. Please find us in the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.

From the divine Oscar:' One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.'
Myself I have been 49 for some years now........

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I have never thought of it that way!

Good advice, I trust you ;)

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Ha ha, clever little kitten!

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Q: What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? A: Get married on his birthday.

Not true, but funny nonetheless lol

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HA! Actually, that would probably be a good memory booster...

LOL