Country-City Brain Drain - Freewrite Day 605 - Prompt: Moving to the City
Chicago jazz in a suburb at a brewery that celebrates its Midwest heritage
Our son the jazz bassist moved to Chicago, loved it,
then moved to New York, and loved it even more. sigh
His father and I were farm kids, raised in "depressing" isolation on gravel roads with the nearest hick-town (population 500) several miles away, the nearest city (100,000 or more) at least an hour away. We grew up with big sky, lots of space, and room for an imagination to wander unfettered.
College and careers lured us to a fair-sized city in the Midwest, where we raised all three kids, who'd visit "The Farm" (the grandparents) and wonder how we survived the desolation and lack of culture.
Live music?
Um, you mean yodeling out in the field, or playing a harmonica when nobody else was within earshot? (To be fair, my husband's mother drove her sons two hours one way to Lincoln for piano lessons, and one went one to get a master's in music from Yale. Both his sons have degrees in music; one teaches symphony at a middle school)
Our kids grew up with Show Choir, school plays, Suzuki violin, flute, cello, bass, piano, drums, oboe, and ballet, and dance recitals...
That son of ours, pushing a wheelbarrow for as little time as possible; our daughter as The Sour Kangaroo
Just when I'd grown to love the brownstone neighborhood
our son was in, and the lions next door... poof. He was in Harlem, and our youngest visited him there and said New York is the best city in America. sigh
I'm so allergic to traffic, nowhere to park, crowds and the high cost of anything you do in the city, I don't even like to VISIT cities, much less LIVE in one. And I do realize the benefits. So often, people discover that small towns and rural areas are not as friendly or tolerant as the stereotype. "Live and let live" is often much more widespread in big cities. Tolerance. Sharing space with others. A lot of country people seem to get territorial and distrustful of stranger or anyone not born in the area, and some are suspicious of their own kin. If I didn't have to drive, I think I could love city life, as long as I was within walking distance of Central Park or some hiking trail. The older I get, the more I encounter "urban rejects" and people who hate people, and for me the urge to live in a city gets more appealing all the time. (Now to get the husband on board.)
Grandpa knows "culture" and "live music" are a matter of perspective.
For him, the hum of engines hard at work
and the thrill of the wheel on rough terrain is where it's at.
Our son-in-law and our middle child with Grandpa
You can take the kid out of the country,
but you can't take the country out of the kid. Sometimes all that is best about "country" gets transferred via the gene pool. I remind our son of this with birthday cards I make by pillaging images from junk mail catalogues.
Yes, it backfired!
Of course it did! My attempt to capture the fun of the farm in this image turned corny to the point of reaffirming our offspring's conviction that Moving to the City was the smartest thing they ever did.
sigh
But I tell ya what, Chicago's Okoberfest has nothing over the Amana Colony's!
Five Minutes
to write, and 50 minutes to search the pc for all my old photos!
Our youngest is moving to Omaha next month. At least the traffic is a little less horrible than Chicago's!
Fab freewrite Carol. Great photos and gives a wonderful insight into your family. I love how your describes your children’s opinions of the cities. !tip
Thank you! (and double thanks for the tip!)
I love the way this freewrite works on multiple levels. It's an interesting insight into your the family history as well as providing reflections on social conditioning re city vs country living. Beyond all that, it just flows like I was sitting in a room with you listening to you speak on your thoughts about city vs country.... I really like those types of blog posts. There is a wonderfully flowing conversational style to this and authenticity with all the pics of your family :)
Ha ha, this made me laugh too. As I get older I find myself increasingly dissatisfied with city life to be honest. I think if I ever get out of the financial hole I'm in I may be destined to be a country bumpkin as they call 'country folk' in the UK :)
Raj!!! I thought you'd taken a hiatus from Steemit to work on your fiction.
Thank you for reading and commenting!!! You are one of the kindest, most considerate, selfless, and generous people ever to grace social media (and the blockchain). And the world of fiction. Keep writing!! As for escaping cities, my sister believes Brazil has the best, at least in a town an hour from Sao Paulo, where she can walk out the door, walk a few blocks to the market with fresh produce, hear live music (bossa nova!)... Brazil is famed for percussionists... but I digress.
Freewriting
is a great way to develop "a wonderfully flowing conversational style," so long as we remember not to overly revise and edit. When we don't freewrite, when we pause in search of the right word, we tend to lose that conversational flow and start writing stilted stuff. Freewrites usually do need edits, but there's a fine balance to strike between the flow of words and the corral of words to herd into nice sentences and paragraphs.
Great to hear from you, Raj!!!!
p.s. Even if you do go rural, you'll never be a bumpkin.
Growing up in small midwest town just outside of a slightly larger midwest town I identify with what you have written. I have been to both Lincoln and Omaha which is nothing special but knowing the areas you mentioned helped me understand better. Well done my friend.
Didn't realize we had that in common - I'm often amazed at how many writers and movie stars started out in the Midwest. That Brain Drain is real. The country may be a great place to raise children and feed their imaginations and enrich their souls... but the cities lure them away. Thanks for the kind words, Ted-Chris-Jack'"whatever works" :) !
Just in case anyone wondered what I was on about that time
I grew up in rural Black Hawk, South Dakota just North of Rapid City and South of Sturgis. We were close to Wyoming,Montana and Nebraska.
Sturgis!!! Are you a Harley fan, or have you seen enough of those to last you a lifetime (as our offspring said once when we got held up in the traffic to the annual Sturgis celebration on our way to the Black Hills)? How fun to find a fellow 'rural origins' Steemian. :)
When a townjumps in size from 6,900 to 495,000 in a few days it is not looked upon as a happy occasion by the locals.
I did buy a leather jacket there one time during the rally when I was a youngster. The motorcycles were fun to look at but I never got the "Harley bug".
Carol, I have to say that I'm having a similar revelation about big city life. I, too, was raised in the country, always said cities were not for me. After experiencing many of them over the past year, including NYC (which, btw, is my favorite American city, too,) my viewpoint has changed.
I visited Harlem a couple weeks ago but don't share Miles' enthusiasm for it. Astoria is where I'd move if given the opportunity. I LOVE the tiny little row houses with the tiny little front lawns and tiny little living spaces. Less to clean, less to mow, but parking right at the door and some even have garages. A brief subway ride and you're anywhere in the city you want to go, no tolls, no traffic--although I found that navigating the Big Apple in a car to be infinitely easier than any of the rumors suggest. I had zero trouble driving in the traffic, zero trouble finding free parking, and zero trouble getting anywhere I needed to go. New York City rocks.
I no longer believe that country folk are congenial. There are exceptions to every blanket statement, but generally speaking, rural communities are hostile, hateful, intolerant, and backward. I'm sure I'll take heaping amounts of abuse for this pronouncement, but I challenge anyone to walk a mile in my shoes down the path I've traveled. I know Central Appalachia is by far the worst rural region to live in, but I grew up in the Deep South and see shades of overlap. Not so in the cities. I am quite ready to move at this point, just not sure where I'm going.
I hear you!!!
Our son was near the Cloisters in Harlem, and it may be that you didn't see the parts of Harlem he knows and love. "The Harlem Renaissance" of the 1920s included jazz as well as art, and that's his love. Astoria? He hasn't lived there yet but he's tried Brooklyn and Manhattan, a year of sub-letting and apartment-hopping and getting to know New York. An old city (for America) with rich history and great architecture and the Best-in-the-Nation for so many things from food to music to shopping.
I'm not surprised you found traffic better than expected - you used to drive a big rig as a trucker, right? OMG, I cannot even parallel park a car. And the quick reflexes to change lanes and dodge those lane-changers who didn't see you: that's where ADHD ought to come in handy, but not my version of ADHD.
I'm so glad you have had good experiences in other places and that you earnestly seeking to relocate. The place you live may have the reputation of being the worst rural America has to "offer," but having read about hundreds of cold cases and animal abuse, murders and drug traffickers, and human trafficking in my own backyard (or within a few miles of it), I can assure you the Midwest is not all that much better than Appalachia! You may lay claim to living in the "worst" of it, and I do not dispute that. Not at all. I'm grateful that for all the mean, petty, vicious, or merely ignorant or unkind people there are, MOST people are not as bad as all that. Statistics are unreliable at determining how mean people can be and where the mean people congregate the most. It's kinda like the degrees of tragedy: the loss of a loved one is so horrible, it doesn't matter if it could have been worse; bad is bad. Cancer usually gives people time to say goodbye and get their affairs in order, whereas sudden, unexpected deaths leave chaos and shock as well as the usual grief. Losing a loved one to sickness or a car wreck is a whole different kind of loss than having some amoral a^^hole kill your loved one.
I love @crescendoofpeace - "I find kindness and compassion wherever I go" - and can only hope that the human species will evolve more people like her and weed out the selfish SOBs, but survival of the fittest tends to favor the selfish. Then again... long term... George C. Williams's book Adaptation and Natural Selection (1966) and Dawkins's The Selfish Gene would suggest that altrusim and cooperation do serve the perpetuation of the species, but I'll stop now. This comment box is full enough.
Get thee to a city asap, Rhonda! (Eh. Trying to channel the lyrical sound of Hamlet's "Get thee to a nunnery," but it fell flat.)
I may actually get me to a different country altogether. Who knows. LOL
Yes. Bad is bad. Very well said, Carol.
Bad is so bad, it can be hard to distinguish from The Worst.
I'm pretty sure none of us has ever witnessed The Worst.
Thanks Rhonda!
Another country - my sister went that route. She loves Europe. I'm pretty sure France would love you.
France is nice. But I'm not sure that's where I'd end up. Looking right now at countries with decent taxation laws, especially those that favor writers and publishers. I'll keep you posted. ;-)
Please do!
We have friends in Santiago de Compostelo, but Spain doesn't seem to be th economy you're looking for.
Italy also has tax breaks for artists, including writers, but as with Spain, their economy is a mess, and property values are still sky high.
Marek's sister Malwina has been living there for years.
We have our eye on somewhere a bit different to locate Steemhouse. ;-)
Any hints? ;-)
Posted using Partiko Android
hi @carolkean
really a beautiful story, very deep and intimate! I think there are places where we feel good, that we really feel the feeling of being at home (in the most general sense of the word) and others not. sometimes it can happen to change your mind over time, why not? we are travelling a lot, we often stay in rather isolated places or on some farm for some time and then we feel the lack of the city, of the confusion, of the people. but then we stay in the city for two days and we understand that nothing matters (especially if it is a big city) and that we miss seeing the green or the sea. I think we change every day, every day we need something different, to change. the important thing is to follow our needs and try to feel good, right?
congratulation :-))
Thank you for reading and commenting with so much thought :-))
I'm kinda stuck on this acreage because husband loves his job, and this is where he wants to stay. I'm thinking of a village with everything in walking distance on the sea coast of some tropical country but HE loves blizzards and tornadoes(and I don't mean the kind Dairy Queen sells). I'm ready for a change, but also content to be wherever I am called to be. Change is good, and adapting to our circumstances. If we're never challenged or pressured, we may stagnate. Or fail to improve. But for now, all is well and all shall be well. :-)
yes you're right, change brings us new challenges, excites us, makes us grow. but not everyone sees it the same way: if your husband is happy why change? rightly from his point of view. It can be difficult when the two halves of a couple don't want the same change at the same time, but it's not even that easy to happen !! why we are called to compromise, no? good luck :-))
Thanks!!! Someday I'll be in an old minivan or camper (spray painted matte black or whatever paint color is on clearance) driving coast to coast, and Canada to Mexico, sleeping in the back like the nomad I am at heart... but if that happens, it might mean I've lost my husband Heaven Forbid. Unless I corrupt him...
ha ha !! :-)) if you don't corrupt him, call me. I love the vision of the minivan with two old nomadic women travelling around the world !!
Ooooh yeah!!!
If nothing else, I'll live that life via fiction.
You're awesome!!!!
People tend to be city or country folk and then there are real odd ones, those that love the suburbs. I was born a city girl, I'm afraid but that doesn't mean I hate the country. No I love to go for walks in it and adore nature. It isn't an either or kind of situation. But yes, I find outside of the city people are a lot less tolerant of each other, but not always. And not all cities are vibrant and evoling like NYC. Some of them are depressing and unsafe places to be. Cities need to be cultivated and cared for. Arts and culture need to be nurtured or a once beautiful and amazing place can turn into something post-apocalytic and fast.
Wonderful post, Carol:)
wonderful reply! Thank you!
You're right - civilizations rise and fall, and so down small towns and big cities. Urban renewal and new public policy can sometimes reverse the downward spiral of a neighborhood like Harlem or Chicago's notorious Rush Street, once a den of iniquity, now an upscale neighborhood for yuppies and "The Viagra Triangle" - (I could not have made that up!).
Haha:)
Hi carolkean,
Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.
Thank you so much!
GottaLove @curie!!!!!
I grew up in a town much like @carolkean's, the largest town in the county by far at under 3000 live souls. After college, also in a small town, I moved first to Boston and then NYC for a total of 24 years of city life.
The parking and traffic jams drove me to the suburbs, where I have wallowed for the past 20 years.
I can say this much: people in the cities are far more friendly than they are anywhere else. Supportive, humorous, kind, vibrant, diverse, exciting etc. I miss city life, but know that the parking drives me insane so I choose not to live there, only to visit.
Harlem is GREAT. I'd happily live there if I could find a house with a parking place. And it's a few minutes to get out of the city from there, another plus.
Yes: people in the cities are far more friendly than they are anywhere else has been my experience too. Supportive, humorous, kind, vibrant, diverse, exciting etc. - but The Parking!!! drives me insane too.
Staci, you really are a kindred soul! And I really do need to experience LIVING in a city, not in a suburb, not on the fringe. How many of us -- writers, Steemians-- live(d)
On the Fringe | or with Rural Origins?
Beautiful piece.
I share your mixed-feelings about city life. I lived for 5 years in Normal-Bloomington and I dreaded the times we had to go to Chicago. I loved the city. I think it is one of the most beautiful cities in the States, but traffic drove me crazy.
I think you are right about the downside of small towns, although I can't complain about the college towns I lived in. I guess colleges (and all they bring) help.
You have a beautiful family. Blessings!
Thank you!
Yes, a small town that's also a college town is a step above the lonely burg on the prairie that has a Casey's convenience store and little else. In my parents' day (1950s), our tiny hometown had a bowling alley, two movie theaters, three grocery stores, a butcher/meat locker, a hatchery, a brick schoolhouse with grades K-12, the elevator, and more, but now it's down to the elevator. The school is empty. This is the fate of so many small towns. Hence, Brain Drain. And increasingly bigger cities, while towns dry up and blow away in the winds of time.
@kimberlylane commented at @joanstewart's post, ....I've lived in the hinterlands for quite some time now and I have been thinking of going to a city.... Perhaps, the grass (or lack there of) is always greener?
Ah, the stereotype of peaceful rural life and good folk who live close to the earth. The myth of busy, uncaring city people.
I'd say more, but I've given my lurker enough for one day, and my goal is to focus on the positive and all that is good, rather than care that I am under surveillance, or hesitate to use a word like "redneck" knowing that I'm being screen-shotted and reported to a person nobody at Steemit would know by name. I was venting here, naming no names, not thinking anyone here would know or care who I interact with in "real" life, but apparently I have more people paying attention to what I write than I had ever dreamed. Well, here's today's offering. Consume and share at will! I'm not going to censor myself. Have a nice day, as you like to say. And may God, or karma, forgive your trespasses as you forgive others theirs.