My Creative Journey 46
How do you start a post you know no one will ever read? How do you get up in the morning and work on things you know no one will care about? How do you fight past crippling self doubt, emotional and physical exhaustion? What do you do on those mornings where all you want to do is walk off into a forest and forget that society exists?
The same thing you do on the mornings where everything seemed great.
You start typing words, reciting mantras, and fight through all that doubt. You focus on those moments where you saw the light, when people were patting you on the back, and hope shit will be get better. Because the one thing you do know, is that if you do nothing, nothing will happen. And, even if you're only able to do a little on the bad days, at least it's a little.
Trust me, it adds up. I'm having one of those mornings and all I want to do is hide my head under the covers, but, instead I'm here doing my best. Why would I bring something like this up on my art blog? Because if you're trying to do anything outside the norm, you will probably have a lot of days like this. And, as a creative, it most definitely is a part of the journey.
Am I doing the right thing? Will anyone ever give a fuck? Is this stuff shit, or gold?
A vicious cycle that wears on the psyche. But, you can't let it kill you. You can't let it slow you down. That's how people succeed. They don't ignore what's going on in their head. They acknowledge it, seek to understand it, and find the cracks in the armor of our enemy, doubt.
Do I suck?
Hell no. I have friends hitting me up all the time about how awesome stuff is beginning to look. I even have friends buying me art supplies, making sure I have what I need to grow. How cool is that? Am I the best? No...but I've only been doing art for like 4 or 5 months. Seriously...if I keep up this pace I sure as heck ain't worried...but...
Does anyone give a fuck?
Only if I tell them to. Why don't more people know about me and my work? It's because I'm not marketing myself right...or marketing enough. If I want people to see me, I have to let them know I'm hear. Which means learning and implementing the right strategies. It's not that they don't give a fuck, they just haven't heard about me, yet.
Am I doing the right thing?
I don't know about you, but I can't stand the thought of not creating. What would I do in my free time if I had any? Create. If I was rich, what would I do? Create. If I had one last day to live, what would I do? After getting a hooker I'd probably create up until the last moment.
Bad days are bad days, and they will happen. You just gotta muddle through them as best you can. And, most importantly, not give up.
So, enough of that, let me show you want I created last night.
It was a pretty productive night.
These were done after I spent a couple hours doing the sketch and erase thing. I wanted to see how the new kind of practice with charcoal would affect my ink work. Overall, I like what it did for my outlines. Scratch that, love what it did. They're still pretty rough, but I think the images feel pretty alive. The way the lines give them energy in different directions, how the line thickness changes to accent different things. All very subtle, all still very rough, but thinking on some of the permanent marker drawings I did like a month ago, way improved. I'll do another couple hundred and see what happens, hehe.
And, yes, I did another skull. Mainly to flip the vibe for a second.
I'll show a couple of the sketch and erase figures I did as well. Practice, practice, practice, hehe.
It's a tough morning and I'm fighting negative feedback loops, but I'm going to do my best to follow my own advice.
...A friend walked up as I was/am writing this, and he saw some of my work that I have laying out. Turns out he was watching my Instagram Live show last night. Yes, I do these live online pretty much every night. It was cool to hear from someone who actually watched, and to get some feedback. More proof that I'm on the right track...hopefully, lol. So, I'm going to get back to the fight.
Thanks for stopping by! This journey is going to be a long and hard one and I appreciate others being there along the way. I hope y'all have a great weekend!
Wessel
Previous posts:
My Creative Journey 45
My Creative Journey 44
My Creative Journey 43
My Creative Journey 42
My Creative Journey 41
My Creative Journey 40
My Creative Journey 39
My Creative Journey 38
My Creative Journey 36 + 37 + Watch me Paint! Ep. 16
My Creative Journey 35 + Watch me Paint! Ep. 15
My Creative Journey 33 + Watch me Paint! Ep. 14
My Creative Journey 32 + Watch me Paint! Ep. 13
My Creative Journey 31 + Watch me Draw! Ep. 7
My Creative Journey 30 + Watch me Paint! Ep. 12
My Creative Journey 29 + Watch me Draw! Ep. 06
My Creative Journey 28
My Creative Journey 27
My Creative Journey 26 + Watch me Paint! Ep. 11
My Creative Journey 25 + Watch me Draw! Ep. 05
My Creative Journey 24 + Watch me Draw! Ep. 04
My Creative Journey 23 + Watch me Paint! Ep. 010
My Creative Journey 22
My Creative Journey 21 + Watch me Paint! Ep. 09
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Keep on keeping on my friend. I personally have seen some great art you have done over the last couple of months. No question you got the talent :)
Hehe, thanks! :) I may have the seed of talent, but there's a lot of work I need to do to make it grow...and grow properly. Thanks for dropping by!
Had me worried at first, thought it was going to be a negative, whine post.
But, not. Going through the motions of a typical day often gets you back to a comfortable pace and you just move on from the negative. Pick up the momentum from yesterday.
Everyone is creating something. Not always a natural , developed skill or talent to be shared with many.
Creating a home, a sense of security, an atmosphere of love, a smile or hope all take extreme efforts as well. Often, without a circle of support. Those that create through their work in science, medicine, technology, etc., are improving a multitude of lives and lifestyles. With only a paycheck to show for it.
Altough you forge ahead I have an impression of turmoil. Trying too hard can also turn negative.
Lecture from @nananini is over. Like you really needed a Steemit lecture from a grandma today, lol.
I am having a great weekend, nothing special, a do what I want weekend. Need that occasionally.
Heheh, yeah, started it that way on purpose. Because that's how I really feel. It is frustrating, but I can't focus on that, because that's not the stuff that matters. A couple cents here or there? Not really something I should think about.
As for doing all that stuff with only a paycheck to show for it...well, it would be nice to get a paycheck every once in a while. Been following the creatives path for almost 8 years now and I've come to realize everyone wants, loves, and appreciates creativity, but no one really wants to pay for it. And, life is always going to be a balance between time and money until we realize we don't really need money. That's when society will really leap forward.
Hope you have a great Monday!