So You Thought You Were Cool Huh? Comedy Open Mic - Round 42
I’ve been collecting pictures of the humble license plates I’m surrounded by in Los Angeles, California for a few months. A walk through any parking lot in Manhattan Beach or surrounding Pacific Coast cities and the custom, ‘look at me’ license plates are abundant. I just counted my photos and I’m already at 24—it’s time to get these things on the #blockchain.
Then, on Tuesday, I saw @creationofcare Resteem this winner’s announcement from an initiative on #steemit called @socalsteemit. I rabbit holed a little deeper and found these contest rules.
- Photos - ✔️
- So. Cal. - ✔️
- Thursday - ✔️
- 50 words minimum - Only 50?!
- 1st place = 3 @steembasicincome. Well then... Dear @socalsteemit, that’s d.a.n.d.a.y.s :wink: Did you get that COM?
Speaking of Comedy Open Mic—I don’t think turning a bunch of California license plates into jokes will hurt #socalsteemit or @mycalifornia feelings so let’s make the first tag @opencomedymic, type #punchline right here, add Round 42 to the title and double enter this article—thanks @quillfire, good lookin out! And, no, that wasn’t a nomination, Quill, I already know I’ll see you in Round 43. 👍🏿
“So you thought you were cool huh?”
Yeah, I remember back when being cool was good enough—not anymore. Nowadays, cool people have lame, factory stamped license plates and everyone else is Awesome As beeeeeep!
A lot of the license plates you’re about to see are really cheesy. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
“Who can only come from Ant Holes for a $1,000, please, Alex.”
If this person or anyone in their family has ever lost a set of keys, this license plate should be revoked because it’s false advertisement. Either that or this is the car you want to keep an eye out for in the event you lose your keys.
You know? 🤔 49 year old chicks don’t do it for me and 51 is one too many if you know what I mean. 😉 This chick does—you go girl chick!
This next car was difficult to catch for obvious reasons. Each time we got close enough to take the picture, they took off again! “No, I don’t have turbo for the 10th time, coolest person ever!! Stop doing that!” ....”richard”
This is what happens when your buddies call you ‘Slick’ and you have a really nice Chevelle that was manufactured 49 years ago. Or maybe the owner is a proud, bald guy.
I don’t know where everyone is from so I appreciate it when they #inform me before I ask. Or maybe they just like soccer?
I got as close as I could to this license plate but it didn’t matter, I never figured out who’s car it was. The make and model of the vehicle were equally elusive.
The only thing keeping this guy from elite douchebag status is the hard top. Corvette, check. Red, check. Master spy, check. Hard top... Douchebag!
I’m assuming the driver of this next car is white and I’ll go one step further and say the driver is a white Russian. I doubt they’re advertising a drink on their license plate. This person is also very proud to announce their ordeal is final!
I didn’t see either of the parenting cats but where there’s a cub, there’s a mom! Keep your head on a swivel, from the looks of the license plate, there’s at least five more of them.
I saw your car at the market the other day @delishtreats. I asked around for you but they said you’re off capturing the moment. Shoot me a line next time you’re in town, let’s d-do d-lunch!
:attention: Acura owners, to be more specific, Acura TSX owners—you may want to consider selling your car after this one because it’s just a TSX. You need to upgrade to a:
My allergies flare up as the season changes from winter to Spring, commonly known as Hay Fever. I’m an over the counter type of remedy finder, I didn’t realize all I had to do is change “hay” to #fun.
I’m not a cat person myself, I love dogs—German Shepherds. I’m not sure if this person really likes dogs or really hates them? 🤔
I shaved my face off the day I snapped this picture so I don’t know who they’re talking to—not me.
I like sweet tea, my grandmother used to make the best sun tea in the world and then sweeten it with sugar like only a grandma can, D-lish! :wink: I like peas, too, green peas, chick peas, all of them—yum! This is what happens when you mix sweet tea and peas together. Or maybe they’re just an avid Popeye rerun watcher.
This next one sent me to the research table—this is that part of the comedy performance where the entertainer you’re watching breaks away from the action for a minute, he puts the jokes on hold, and gets sidetracked on an education tangent.
I’ve never served in the military so I wasn’t aware of the term “Plank Owner.” The frame of this license plate says U.S. Navy on the top and U.S.S. Hopper Plank Owner on the bottom.
First, I looked up what a Plank Owner is and I found the following definition at https://navyvets.com:
That told me a lot about the owner of that car. But I still didn’t know what ‘Hopper’ meant nor the significance of ‘DDG-70’ so I did a background check and found this article at Wikipedia—The USS Hopper (DDG-70) is an active US Navy missile destroyer stationed in Hawaii, at Pearl Harbor and is only the second US Navy warship to be named for a woman from the Navy’s own ranks.
I continued a little further and learned DDG is a NATO standard designation for “guided missile destroyers.” 70 is the hull number which is the same thing as a serial identification number given to boats and personal watercraft.
Thanks, Honda car owner! I really appreciate the assignment, I hope I introduced you adequately, God bless you! It was fun mixing you into this #comedy piece.
This is the part where I make my transition from the research table back to comedy open mic, ready?
Question: What’s the difference between a fearless, cannibalistic tribe and a squad of fearless cheerleaders?
Answer: One’s a pack of Cunning little Runts.
Now then, about those license plates...
This next person really likes flowers, can you tell which kind are her favorite? Either that or she just wants you to know she wears tailored shorts.
I’ve heard about cloud 9, it sounds like a great place, and I’m just as guilty as you for having my head in the clouds from time to time but I’ve never heard of this one.
Fancy Audi in a hospital parking lot, parked in a space that says: “Physician Parking Only.” “Rx” is the symbol for pharmacy, I’m guessing this vehicle owner is either a pharmacist or his name is Rex Relish.
I’m not the only one who’s had the pleasure of experiencing @berniesanders flex his whale power—feel the bern. Way to lead by example, bern, your automated messages are great for the blockchain. 👍🏿 You need a license plate like this.
The cover image for this one was a no-brainer, I had a feeling it would get your attention. This post was inspired by @mycalifornia so I saved the following license plate for last. It’s missing an “R” but who doesn’t have a good autocorrect #story or two, right?
Eh, great initiative @socalsteemit, thanks for the heads up @creationofcare. Great job you guys! Click here if you haven’t heard about them yet.
@comedyopenmic @comedyschool @com-judge thanks for having me—eh, :attention: vote for their witness if you haven’t already! COM is a great initiative for #steemit and they support a whole bunch of your favorite #steemians, come on over to Discord and check us out. Next up is @thebigsweed, you got this! Everything you need to know is right here. You shouldn’t need another copy @sivehead, but Justin Bieber Case (he’s Charity Case’s brother, btw) you do, click where it says ”here.” <— there.
Click here for Wednesday.
Click here for Monday.
Hi dandays,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
Thank you @steemcomedyclub.
Lmao... it took me a while to read past the 'Ant holes' gag. Couldn't see through all the tears of laughter. Fantastic job Sir @dandays.
Thanks for the nomination too. Can't say how quick I can comply... I'm currently waiting for inspiration to saturate the gray cells.
I’m glad you liked it, those license plates are everywhere, they make it so easy. Check it out! I just got this one today because there happened to be two of them, side by side on the road. They’re competing for the coolest person of the year award.
You’re welcome for the nomination, my pleasure, take your time but try not to make me wait too long, you’re frikkin funny.
Thanks for stopping by @sivehead.
So this is the collection that you were talking about :D I love your descriptions :D I was laughing at every single one! But I still consider it a weird hobby :D But hey! We all do something weird, don't we?
It's funny to see how many people there have personalized license plates. You barely see it here..
I have a question for you.. isn't it illegal to publish those license plates? Just asking.. Here you need to ask for the owner permission before you post anything like that. In reality this is of course only valid when they would find out about your post :D Don't you worry! I'm not telling anyone :D
Don't you worry.. next time I'll let you know in advance and we can go for lunch ;) Don't forget to ask your lovely wife to join us too ;)
Thank you for a good laugh!
Good morning, I’m glad you didn’t mind the free shout out! It’s not a hobby, it was just a hobby for this particular piece. Custom license plates are everywhere, they make it easy on me. About it being illegal...
I’ve never heard such a thing. Between me and you, I don’t care if it is. 😉 Anything in free-air and within range of my camera lens is free game. Tattoos, check. Street art, check. License plates, absolutely!
Thanks a lot for stopping by @delishtreats, I’m glad you got a laugh out of it.
Hahaha, free shout outs are the best! :)
Do you think they compensate anything with these license plates? :)
I thought you wouldn't care, lol :D
What a great entry!!!! Hehehehhe!
I’m glad you liked it!
Thanks for stopping by @creationofcare.
Oh, yeah, best to link your post on the contest! Woohoo, so glad to see you doing some socalsteemit!
Ahh!! Danget! Thank you.
Hi @dandays, I'm @checky ! While checking the mentions made in this post I noticed that @mycalifornia and @opencomedymic don't exist on Steem. Did you mean to write @california ?
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!help.You’re the best checky! Comedy pieces make me sofa king nervous, can you tell? Big thanks for busting my :cough: though, good lookin out.
haha a lot of them really do scream Douchebag, don't they?! :)
And best joke ever :
Thanks for the laughs @dandays! Always a pleasure stopping by here :)
You’re very welcome, nothing makes me happier than being at the center of your jokes! Wait...
Thanks for stopping by @lynncoyle1.
You're welcome :) Always laughing with you !!
Only read the first paragraph and had to reply, looks great. This should be a ball. I'm coming from the totally opposite perspective where I feel most comfortable living in the middle of the woods. The only eyeballs looking at me are in the heads of people I have invite into my life.
Besides one of these fabulous creatures.
I guess this is the perfect City Mouse, Country Mouse scenario.
Been busy as hell lately.
I'm ready to relax for the remainder of the evening, starting with a little reading for PLEASURE.
Remember big guy, you haven't read the content yet, keep it short.
😁 funny
👀 visuals
😎just extra cool
I'm not sure what to expect, a little of each would be great.
Funny needed
Always great stuff, one way or the other.
okay back to reading.
You’re probably reading right now... that’s the first time I received a comment that explained an interruption and what you’re hoping to find. Man, that was awesome!
Since you’ve been busy, you may have missed the one where I describe your voice. 🗣
Deer like that, huh? Just stopping and posing for pictures like that? Is that Mornal?!
Thanks for stopping by @thebigsweed.
Not at all normal and it was a good thing I was only shooting her with a camera.
Hi dandays,
Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.
Curie visits suck! .....said nobody ever.
Thanks for stopping by @curie, your visits make my day.
My favorite is UPDOGGG!! Triple G because he is a triple gangster,daaaawg...
Thanks for entertaining us @dandays :)
It’s sure is nice to hear from you, Ed! Thanks for dropping me a line, when @edprivat gives a pat on the back, it must be good! UPEDDD?! Triple D <— dang!
Thanks for stopping by @edprivat, entertaining you is my PPPleasure HHHomeboy, thanks for noticing.
MY pleasure BBBRother!!!