"Free Quilly" Petition ... Entry in the 'Concoct-A-Verb Contest' & 'ComedyOpenMic #42'steemCreated with Sketch.

in comedyopenmic •  11 months ago 

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This is an entry into both the Concoct-A-Verb Contest organized by @blockurator and the @comedyopenmic #42 Contest.

My concocted verb is: followcumventing ... a combination of the verbs 'following' and 'circumventing.'

My Entry

Freedom of Speech … perhaps the most precious right of citizens in a democracy. But not all agree. Some would shackle the words of their fellows, silencing their eloquence. Just like in Orwell’s, “1984.”

Take this Contest, Concoct-A-Verb, for example:

… your task is to write a very short story (no more than 250 words) where one of your characters acts out your verb, but you can't use the verb to describe your character's actions.
If you break the rules, you get no STEEM (hear that @quillfire?)!

I’ve always considered word-count-limits ‘suggestions,’ guidelines to which you apply discretion. And, I have created some damned fine literature for Block’s contests … but at the expense of word-count (by several-thousand-percent, but let's not be pedantic). Nevertheless, it would seem that Block has decided to bring-the-hammer-down.

In earlier lives, Block was a Military-Officer and I was Other-Ranks. The Other-Ranks often know a great deal more than the officers but still have to follow their orders. After a while, though, one starts to get creative … complying with the 'letter-of-the-law' while 'skirting-its-intent' … and thereby continuing to live.

By way of example:

Most people are familiar with the Biblical story of the Tower of Babel. Most, however, are unfamiliar with the ‘Library of Babel.’

The latter is an online-database containing everything that has ever been written … or which could ever be written: From Shakespeare ... to the book you'll write in ten years.

Here’s a screenshot (top-right of screen … 3-horizontal-bars … magnify):

Entry Wordcount: 250 Words ... plus 1 Image

PostScript

For those who don't know, the recent switch in HF20 from Bandwidth to Resource Credits ... was an effort to 'force me into brevity.' Apparently ... I am the'scaling problem.'

@ned (69) . 57 days ago

Listen you dufus ... you're crippling the f***ing blockchain. Just say, "Nice Post," like everyone else. You're creating a scaling nightmare.

@quillfire (56) . 56 days ago

Ned, so nice to finally meet you. I think we should both take a deep breath and remind ourselves that we are crypto brothers-at-arms. With respect ... "crippling" ... that's a bit hyperbolic, don't you think?

@ned (69) . 55 days ago

Hyperbolic!?! What would you call a 20,000 word reply-to-a-comment?

@quillfire (56) . 54 days ago

... Chapter 1. :-)

I put in a smiley face but he didn't further respond. Anyway, I guess that's when they decided to adopt the new Resource Credit system. My apologies for whatever problems it may have caused for the rest of you.

And the artillery barrage is relentless. Check this out (Trigger Warning: You'll be flabbergasted): Jack and Jill

Look, here's the thing: I go to a lot of trouble to delight legions of readers (at least a dozen) with my seemingly unique ability to utilize ten words where one would suffice. Poetry, prose ... in posts, comments and replies. Many have queried, "How does Quill do it?" Some say it's an Art Form unto itself.

If I am reduced to saying, "Nice Post" ... won't something beautiful have died?

And equality ... everything's about equality these days, right?

On average, women speak 20,000 words per day. Men ... 7,000. Who else do you know who's doing more to even up the odds?

And hence, I am organizing a Petition called:

FREE QUILLY

The FREE QUILLY Petition, if adopted, would exempt me from all contest character- and wordcount-limits while pegging my allocation of Resource Credits to the inflation rate of the Venezuelan Bolivar.

That's fair, right?

So, if you're in support of this Petition, Upvote at 100%, ReSteem and Comment. If you're not, Upvote at 100% and ReSteem.


Quill

You guys know the drill. Be verbose ... but articulate.

And remember ...

Go Love A Starving Poet

For God's sake ... they're starving!


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Hi quillfire,

Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)

Judges:

If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here

Click To Vote @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!
Support COM Banner

Thank you to @matytan for the great banner

@steemcomedyclub,

Thanks for dropping by guys. You guys are running a great ongoing contest ... it's the most fun I've had on Steemit ... lots of funny folks.

Keep us laughing

Quill


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Your post was featured in an entry into @pifc's Curation Contest:Week 37. Posts are selected because the entrant felt you are producing great content and deserve more attention (& rewards) on your post. As such your post has been upvoted and will be visited by other members of the PIFC Community.

We are always looking for new people to join our curation efforts. This is a great way to meet new people and become part of a community that focuses on helping one another.

Want to promote a post for free and have a chance to find some other great content? Check out this week's Pimp Your Post.

The Pay It Forward community also has a Discord Channel if you are interested in learning more about us.

@pifc,

Thanks Pifc. This truly is a great initiative and I deeply appreciate the support. I'll join your Discord Community the moment after I send this reply.

Quill

nice post

@idikuci,

Thanks mate.

nice post

Did @ned make you say that? :-)

Quill

no. @nedshair won't let me near him any more

That is not on me. The restraining order specifically says 100 feet must be kept between us. Once you attain 100 human feet you can organize them however you feel and we can be together again.

haha! howdy sir quillfire! This was bloody good, hilarious and so well written, great job!

@janton,

Thanks mate. I think these Contest Organizers are deliberately provoking me into a life of crime ... they know that if they give me a rule and tempt me to break it, I will. Pretty soon, you're going to be doing one of your famous Outlaw Posts about "Quiller The Killer." :-)

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Quill

haha! Quiller the Killer! You would become famous with a handle like that! I agree, it must be their evil plot. lol. Merry Christmas to you to sir and if your daughter has the same sense of humor that you do..that would be a very fun time!

Nice...

@girlbeforemirror,

Cheeky girl.

You know, you're the one that got all this started! I've become the Al Capone of Contest Violations as the result of your provocations. :-)

Merry Christmas, Marg. Say Hi to the hubby and kids for me ... and, if you have turkey, partridge or duck for Christmas, I want a picture of you eating it. :-)

Quill

This is brilliantly hillarious, or should I say, Nice!?

Did he really say that about verbose commenters? I meaa, besides you, How many people can use 20,000 words in a comment?
I had no idea the blockchain was o weak. That would explain all this market meltdown.

I wish words could have the same effect in venezuelan politics. I lost track of how many articles we have written to make people react against the red pest. Not a dent.

Maybe those in the know should use some of maduro's strategies to strengthen the price of Steem.

About our inflation, today, as i went to the optical shop to inquire about my daughters' glasses i heard one of the employees tell a customer that they could give her an estimate valid for only 3 days. She was so happy. Most stores give you 24-hour-valid estimates.

I know now we'll get to a point when you'll ask for a hotdog and they'll give you a price that will increase 50% as soon as you're about to eat the damn thing.

@hlezama,

Hey Henrry.

You know, if you're going to do a thing, do it right. If nothing else, you've got to hand it to Maduro: He knows how to do inflation. 1,000,000% (give or take) ... that's hard to beat. If this were the Olympics, Venezuela would have so many Gold Medals that a Spanish Galleon would be needed to haul them all home.

This is brilliantly hillarious, or should I say, Nice!?

Thanks mate. Laughter is the sunshine in the eye of the storm.

BTW, rep score just turned 56 ... I'm catching up. Keep running. :-)

Quill

100% upvote ... don't ever change a thing about you! This was brilliant and oh so funny :) The bit about ned had me dying laughing. And Free Quilly, so clever; Free Quilly's Willy while you're at it! Word counts and speed limits are merely limitations put on those who are perfectly capable of thinking for themselves :)

Before I forget, I'm one of the judges in the Pay it Forward Curation contest, and thanks to @mattifer, I was blessed today with your verbosity! You should join us with an entry of your own someday; it really is a great spot to gain some more followers while doing a good thing (I'm talking about manual creation, not whatever quickly went through your head there :).

@lynncoyle1,

Free Quilly's Willy

A. You have a dirty mind
B. Why didn't I think of that?

You should join us with an entry of your own someday; it really is a great spot to gain some more followers while doing a good thing (I'm talking about manual creation, not whatever quickly went through your head there :).

Madam, your wish is my command. DM me ... and tell me PRECISELY what to do as I always manage to screw up these rule-based things. :-)

Quill

A. You have a dirty mind
B. Why didn't I think of that?

A. Yes I do.
B. I don't know. Kinda disappointing if I'm being completely honest :)

Re: @pifc
I will DM you after Christmas because I'm not sure if we're skipping a week with it or not. This is rather difficult for me to admit, but I'm only a judge and not the boss of it all ;)

This was funny...

It seems like we live in a world of idiots. If commenting too much breaks the platform, we shouldn't fix it by silencing everyone... but by fixing the platform to be more efficient, no?

Or else we'll have no problems by fixing all the near bankrupt corporations of the world... by working for them, for free.

PS: I've found your post because @mattifer featured you in her entry for the Pay It Forward Contest

@trincowski,

Thanks mate. A bit of silliness in search of a seasonal smile. Merry Christmas.

Quill

I know the quilldrill

@brittandjosie,

QuillDrill ... that's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that!?! I hope you don't mind if I steal that and add it to my taglines. :-)

Merry Christmas.

Quill

Early morning christmas present ... just wondering still 1 thing : what about thd quilT?😬

Hey, @quillfire!

Thank you for your contribution to the crowd. We are the Steemit project dedicated to empowering The Wisdom of Crowds. You can find more about us on our official website or whitepaper and you can support us by voting for our witness and joining our curation trail on Steemauto . We are also inviting you to join Crowdmind Discord server. Don't forget to use the #crowdmind hashtag and happy crowdsourcing!

@crowdmind,

Thanks folks, I appreciate the support. Merry Christmas.

Quill

Signed.

As for a smile, sorry, I am good at laughing very hard inside my mind without changing my breathing or facial expression.


Oh, alright, it's Christmas soon, so...

:)


This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.
@c-squared runs a community witness. Please consider using one of your witness votes on us here

@c-squared,

Thanks as always guys. Your support is greatly appreciated. Manual Curation is the critical element of Steemit's future success.

Quill

@quillfire,

I hereby sign your petition to be exempt from any and all word limits, topic proscriptions, and resource allocation denials. Your resource credits should simply be pegged at unlimited in perpetuity.

You really do have a gift.

Mattifer

@mattifer,

I knew you'd sign the Petition Jen ... because you're a good girl!

Take that @ned.

Long Live Liberty for the Loquacious!

Quill

@ned (69) . 57 days ago

Listen you dufus ... you're crippling the f***ing blockchain. Just say, "Nice Post," like everyone else. You're creating a scaling nightmare.

@quillfire (56) . 56 days ago

Ned, so nice to finally meet you. I think we should both take a deep breath and remind ourselves that we are crypto brothers-at-arms. With respect ... "crippling" ... that's a bit hyperbolic, don't you think?

@ned (69) . 55 days ago

Hyperbolic!?! What would you call a 20,000 word reply-to-a-comment?

@quillfire (56) . 54 days ago

... Chapter 1. :-)

I brought back to life the "hysteria" myth just by laughing the way I did at this. Great entry, brilliant humor, as per usual. Oh, and the reference to the inflation rate of my country coin... Now, that's hyperbolic!

Upvoted with 100% and resteemed! I'll let you guess if I'm supporting the petition or not ;)

Greetings, fellow writer!

P.D. Nice post. ;)

@zoexantelamv,

Zoe, great comment. You have a great sense of humor and you articulate it well. I threw in the Venezuela bit for you and Henrry ...it's called, "Gallows Humor" ... you laugh or you cry. :-)

Quill

Oh, of course! The darker the better, like chocolate :-D

You laugh or you cry. :-)

Believe me, I can do both.

Now Free Quilly is a film I'd pay in Resource Credits to see. Take my vote, resteem and comment and good luck with your quest to Orcadom (and both the contests too).

Posted using Partiko Android

@nickyhavey,

Thanks Nicky. My Quest for Orcadom ... I'm on Plan #407 ... I have great confidence that it will work. :-)

Quill

Alright, you bastard. I did not give you permission to use my brand name. I'd send an official cease and desist letter, but I have an overabundance of resource credits and it would be a shame to use them on such trivial drivel (I'm saving them up for my next response to @ned). So, instead, I decided to issue this one-off compliment: This post is an excellent piece of hyperbolic metafiction. Don't ever do it again. That's an order.

And, yes, I want fries with that.

@blockurator,

Yes Sir ... I will follow your orders ... just as I usually do. :-)

Quill

Ha! If you did, it would be a major disappointment. I love the Chapter 1 line. Hysterical!

@blockurator,

If Ned ever does see any of my baloney, I wonder if he'll downvote me into oblivion. Strangely, it never even occurred to me to try to determine if he had a sense of humor before I hit POST. This may have been an oversight ... perhaps explaining why I was "Other Ranks." :-)

Quill

I don't much think he'll downvote you into anything. He's too busy trying to figure out how to offer STDs, I means SMT's, below cost.

:-)

See, I kept telling you they dont pay by the word here lol. Now you forced Ned to come out of wherever he has been to rebuke you lol

@old-guy-photos,

... they don't pay by the word

And that's the key!!! Why don't they? Because they don't want to encourage words ... and that's their Achilles Heel.

Hence, I have developed a plan. It's called Plan #407 and, unlike the first 406, I think it will work. You see, I plan to use my loquaciousness to bring the blockchain to its knees, to overload it to the point of paralysis. Once everything has ground to a halt, I will negotiate a deal with @ned: My brevity in exchange for his permanent auto-upvotes.

It's brilliant.

Ol' Guy ... you just have to think outside the box.

Quill

Interesting entry - I hope you do well in your contest.

I found you thanks to @mattifer's entry into the Pay it Forward Curation contest this week. Keep up the great work!

Somehow (despite being tagged), I think I missed it. Hilarious though - especially the comment that made you speechless... Thanks for sharing.