Daily Dose of Sultnpapper 04/18/18> “LEAVE !!!!”
I have been owing a friend of mine on here ,@ericvancewalton, a daily dose dedicated to a project he is conducting here on steemit called the Steemit Block Chain Memory Project. I like participating in things like this, but only on my time schedule, and now is the perfect opportunity to place my story I am about to share into the project.
I first have to thank my oldest daughter for reminding of this story, so “thank you, Blondie”. She was told the story by my wife, who was told the story by my mother many years ago. The story came up at this time because Blondie will be confirmed into our church in a couple weeks and so we have been busy getting prepared for that event.
Back when I was young our family was members of the local Catholic parish, and just like my two older brothers before me, once I was confirmed in the church I became an altar boy. I think back then we got confirmed around fifth grade, the catholic grade schools had 8 grades and the high school 4 grades. So, most altar boys had about a three year stint serving the church. Most is the “qualifier” in that last sentence, and I have never been like “most” my entire life, going all the way back to the day I was born, Leap Year Day.
To give you just a little background on my mother, she was very active in the church; she served as president of the ladies Altar and Rosary Society on numerous occasions. She also was on the planning and steering committee, and helped run several fund raising events for numerous years. Back in that era stay at home mom’s were the norm and volunteering was also the norm, she did both really well.
My stint serving the Lord and the church as an altar boy lasted all of about three months before I was no longer needed.
Before I get to that part though I have to tell you just a little bit about my father, he was a railroad engineer. He started railroading back when steam engines were still being used, and spent over 50 years of his life riding and guiding the engines and train cars along rails. Railroad men are kind of like sailors, except their ships are on land, and steel rails. The other similarity would be that they have quite a vocabulary of colorful words that aren’t really all that acceptable in church. I spent a lot of time with my dad when he was home, even though I was the youngest of three boys I was named after my father. We only shared the same first and last name, not the middle name, he didn’t want me to be called “junior” my entire life is what he told me. One thing about spending time with parents is you tend to pick up some habits.
Let me get back to the story now. So I’m newly confirmed in the church and now an altar boy. The church had a big fancy altar area, and the ladies of the church would always make sure that there were plenty of fresh cut flowers decorating the altar area when flowers were blooming in their gardens. No need in paying a florist to decorate when it seemed like every house back then had big flower beds and plenty of blooms to share with the church.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmQdcQPK489HsEjqoiJeX5hpiq5LCTqPviu8XSAsfFxyuN/image.png)
This church was pretty old and wasn’t air conditioned but there were plenty of stained glass windows that opened so the air flow was pretty good through the church, as long as there was a breeze. Seeing how the windows opened outward, there weren’t any screens on them. So it wasn’t uncommon to get an occasional bird to drop in every now and then.
I happened to be scheduled to be one of the altar boys for the 9:00 AM mass one Sunday in the springtime. The nine AM service was the most well attended mass for this church and I think there was probably about around 150 or so people in the pews that morning. The altar was full of yellow daffodils and some other red flowers and there happened to be some right behind where the altar boys chairs were situated.
About the time the priest finished reading the gospel and was starting to give his sermon a bumble bee starting working the flowers right behind me. I could hear him buzzing but I didn’t put two and two together, I didn’t have eyes in the back of my head and I didn’t turn around to investigate, I just sat there listening to the sermon.
The next thing I know is that something just flew in my left ear, and as I reached my had hand to my ear, I let out with, “son of a bitch”, which was one of my father’s favorite sayings when something went wrong. Well something had gone wrong; the bee had stung me in my ear. Needless to say the people in the pews didn’t know what had happened; the priest turned around and gave me a “go to hell” look. My mother was totally embarrassed; I couldn’t see how my brothers were reacting because my eyes were tearing up from the pain of just being stung.
Father Gallagher kicked me out of the Altar Boy Society and the church right then and there when he screamed, “Leave!!!” That old priest didn’t have to tell me twice, I walked off the altar and peeled off the smock thing that altar boys wore and dropped it right there at the side of altar. The church had a back door about twenty feet away and I was out in a flash.
It wasn’t but a few minutes from when I was stung to when I was standing by the family car and here came mother and my brothers. My brothers were laughing almost uncontrollably, mother got that under control quickly because she wanted to know what caused my outburst, she had no idea I had been stung. When we got home mother got some tweezers and dug the stinger out, which was almost as painful as getting stung.
My father wasn’t home that Sunday as he was working, when he got home though, he got an earful too.
My total number of masses that I worked was 2 and 1/3, I’m pretty sure that set the record for the shortest stint as an altar boy in our church.
In all honesty, I really wasn’t “altar boy material” and sometimes nature as a way of straightening things out, which is what I guessed happened that day. I’m just real glad that my father wasn’t big on the use of the M F er saying, or things would have been a whole lot worse for both of us.
Our church we attend now is the church my wife’s family help found back in the 1870’s and they have the young folks who are about to be confirmed serve as acolytes, which is the Lutheran equivalent to the Catholic altar boys. Blondie has passed me up as she has 4 church services to her credit, but she has also been warned by her father to keep as far away from the flowers as she can in church.
Until next time,
@sultnpapper
All photos are property of @sultnpapper
This was really good @sultnpapper, I was rolling. Sorry for my absence from Steemit. Internet and cell service is still very spotty on the island. This has its good and bad points. I miss interacting on here though for sure. Hope you’re well!
I am good thanks. I am happy that I was finally able to get a daily dose that fit the project model. I knew you in a suspect area and you already had voted it, so I knew you saw it. I glad that you enjoyed it and hope I can contribute more in the future.
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Boy that brought back memories. That must have hurt like the dickens. Bees and I don't mix well so I stay away from them. I seem to remember my brothers were all alter boys too and I am sure they wished for a way out...they weren't exactly alterboy material.
It hurt bad enough to let the "son of a bitch " fly and that is a pretty high level.
Hey, on your story, you might have a typo, should it be "choked" not" joked" on his coffee? I didn't want to point it out or ask on your story. It is to well done to bring up over there.
Thanks, @sultnpapper. I have a sticky keyboard and I do make typos. I try to catch them before I post but sometimes I miss them.
No problem , I try and help as much as I can and as inconspicuously as I can as well.
Oh my word mr Papper, the bee would choose your ear of all the ears in that church! I can just imagine the shock your poor mother must have gotten and how funny it was for your brothers :):) But there you were in agony!
I remember a preacher one day in our church getting so excited about his sermon, that his false teeth shot out! When I caught a friend's eye and saw her body shaking, I got the giggles and I'm sure you know how hard it is not to laugh when you're not supposed to!
Lovely memories, thank you for sharing it here, see how it brought back memories for me as well!
Thanks Lizelle, my mother wasn't very amused like my brothers were. She ended up explaining the situation to the priest and her lady friends in the church so those that were important to her ended up knowing what really happened. She wanted to try and get me back into the altar boy society and I told her that I wasn't interested even if the priest would let me back in, it was just too dangerous for me.
Memories will spark other memories for sure, and while Eric may not admit it, I think my story of why I came to steemit might have very well inspired this project he came up with. He mentioned to me that he hadn't run across anyone who was trying to leave a history of them-self for future generations and that history would include stories from memories.
Regardless of where the inspiration came from it truly is a good project and I enjoy reading your memories , his and others as well. I plan on submitting some others in the future but only when the timing works out, one post a day keeps me busy enough and I plan on being here for quite a while.
This is so funny:
I don't know how you manage to find time every day to write your daily dose, that's dilligence for sure! Always look forward to reading it!
Have a great day mr Papper...well it's a new day here :)
Thank you Lizelle. My daily dose column has kind of become like taking a vitamin before bedtime for me, I just have gotten in the routine and this old dog just keeps doing it now out of habit. Sometimes I do struggle to stay awake long enough to finish it, but when that happens I complete it and post it before I do anything else.
I appreciate your continued support. Have a great day as well.
Going to break away from my normal day and go watch Lyle ride in the reigning horse competition over in Katy TX. and visit with some other old friends from the horse business.
That sounds great mr Papper.
LOL! Good story. I know for sure i learned my first curse words from my very catholic step mom. I actually let my kids curse, 5 and 7 year sold, and they refuse to. Although my younger one was keen on flipping her sister the bird for a little while. Keep up the good work here on Steemi! See ya on Discord sometime.
Thanks 19, glad you enjoyed it. Several catholic priest have done far worse than me cussing in church that is for sure but that is for another time to discuss. That younger one of yours is lucky her bird didn't get a broken wing , I saw that happen one time in third grade when a boy gave a girl the bird, she reached right up and snapped that little bird. I never saw him flip the bird again to anyone and we went to school together for another nine years. Lesson learned I guess.
Ahahahahaha! 2.33 services? Nice record. I was the black sheep of the family church wise, at least until my brother got old enough to take his share of the load...
We didn't have altar boys or acolytes, but we did have ushers. I volunteered early and everybody was relieved that I might not be on the highway to hell, as it were.
There was a reason: About 20 minutes in we collected the offering. I could slide out for a solid 30 minutes during the rest of the service long as I was back in time for the finale. Perfect.
I'm pretty sure being an usher kept me from being tossed for several years.
Thanks for a wonderful post. And congratulations to your daughter. I actually remember the confirmation process as a hard detail.
Thanks Tom. As part of the confirmation process they have to write a paper on what the church means to them. There is a board that has four people who read the papers and the board selects from over the 100 papers, three to be read by the writer during the church service. Her's was selected by the board for her to read. The board member who notified her that hers was selected said that the entire board was in tears after reading her paper. Blondie isn't big on public speaking, even though she does it with girl scouts, so she politely informed the board this week that she would be declining the offer and for them to select another to replace her.
When the board member she informed asked her why, she said, "this should be a joyous occasion, if the whole board was in tears reading it, I don't want the whole church crying because of me if I read it out loud in church."
She then just smiled and said, "besides, there are several others that are hoping to be chosen to read their's; this will give at least one the opportunity."
She just knows how to ...
Your Blondie sounds like a real special girl mr Papper!
She is, and I'm not just saying that because I am her "father", as she calls me, all the other kids call me "dad", but she has always called me father since she learned how to pronounce the word.
We get compliments from people all the time on how great a kid she is and how caring she is with others.
That's quite a kid. Makes me proud just to be a human.
Thanks. She has a big heart.
nice read Sir. there's a lot of history there. :)
i was also an altar boy in my high school days
Well thank you for reading and commenting. Very much appreciated.
you're welcome 😊
A greta read, I to was an altar boy when I was young and for a similar amount of time, I to was kicked out for saying somehting inappropriate but i didnt have a bee to blame lOL
More than likely I would have made some other mistake that would have gotten me expelled from the group, the bee just made it happen sooner. Thanks for the compliment, maybe we should start of group of former altar boys on here, NOT.
LOL at the Altar Boy group I just dont see that becoming popular lOL
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