How I edit my own work - Plus a story to read too - 12
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
If you'd like to read the story in the edited format rather than comparing the 'before and after' versions, feel free to just read the left hand side version.
Images from Google (free to use) and Pixabay
I wrote this story hot on the heels of Deadlier Than The Male because I was never confident that my first book's success wasn't some sort of fluke.
Re-reading this, I'm still not convinced I didn't just get lucky with my Werewolf story.
Daughters of Le Fey has been put away and not touched, certainly not added to, for six or seven years. My mother-in-law read it (or as much of it as I've written) and she has always encouraged me to continue with it.
I've had the plot rattling around in my head for the past seven years and I know where it's going but I can't get it out of my head yet.
I'm sincerely hoping that, like Ash's story, because I'm working on it every day, it will start to get a life of its own again and I'll be able to progress.
I'm not there yet, I still have some editing to go, and I'm using this editing process to refresh my memory on where the story came from and hopefully that will help in forming where it's going to go.
I think, because it's set at a more gentle pace, I'm having trouble with describing the people and their actions. I'm used to action-driven storylines. I may yet have to rip it apart and start again...
Not so much to do today... A few pieces taken out and some added...
Katherine travelled upwards in order to watch the progress of her new little friend and her governess.
Over the next few weeks, Katherine visited the child on numerous occasions, sometimes watching as she studied and other times sitting rapt by her side as she learned to play her instruments. Katherine was aware that she was beginning to grow very fond of the little girl who had no mother and whose father all but ignored her very existence.
But Katherine also knew she needed to find Dominic’s new self. It was difficult to keep track of him, the spirits moved him on often and when his body died, it could take even a number of years before he was reborn.
One winter morning, Katherine awakened Elizabeth.
“Kat? What is it? It is early yet.” The little girl said as she rubbed her eyes and tried to focus.
“My Lady Elizabeth, it is not Kat, but Katherine. I have come to tell you I must go away. I will return to you, but it may not be for a long time. Please do not forget me.”
Elizabeth sat up in her large bed, ignoring the chill in the room despite the fire, which was still in from the previous night. She held her arms out to Katherine and held on tight as they embraced.
“Has my father sent you away Katherine? He always sends people away.”
“No, Elizabeth, your father does not know of me, only you do. I explained that to you.”
Elizabeth nodded; tears emerged at her eyes, but did not fall. “Do you promise to return to me? Not abandon me?”
“I promise. I would not go, but I must. Be brave little one, you have a great responsibility ahead of you. More than you know. Go back to sleep now.”
Katherine left the little girl and with great sadness in her heart began her search.
After what appeared to Katherine as only a short time of searching, she felt a pull on her heart; the sensation was faint yet unpleasant. She had not yet found her husband’s new incarnation and was beginning to become frustrated and so began thinking of calling for aid from Morgana. In order to distract herself from this notion, she followed the unpleasant sensation.
As Katherine floated above the earth, trying to locate the source of the powerful and unpleasant tow, she eventually saw a large house, surrounded by forest but with a small town close by. As she approached, the house looked more to be a number of separate buildings that happened to be joined together. It did not look as though this building had much planning prior to its construction, indeed, to Katherine; it looked as though many of the parts were after thoughts and with some time between their constructions.
Katherine went to the ground and approached the house - from which direction she had no idea - for it could well have been the side and not the front. Towers and chimneys reached upwards from the building. Turret and portico were dotted about, as were window and buttress. A most confusing array of building styles met Katherine’s awe. But in the window of a gatehouse, she spied the cause of her discomfort. Elizabeth! But she was now a young woman. Katherine remembered the warning her mother had given about time passing swiftly.
Katherine appeared at Elizabeth’s side, where she was leaning on the sill of the window, carving in a diligent and absorbed manner.
“What are you carving, My Lady Elizabeth?” Katherine whispered and was startled when Elizabeth jumped with a violence that spoke of constant isolation; the girl had not expected interruption because she was never interrupted.
Elizabeth dropped the delicate knife she was using and turned around. “How did you get in here? There are guards posted all around at all times. Are you come to assassinate me?”
“No, Elizabeth. It is Katherine, your friend from your childhood.”
“Yes, I remember you Katherine, but you left such a long time ago. You promised you would not desert me, but I needed a friend so many times and you were not here.”
“I cannot explain to you why I was absent from you, I cannot comprehend it myself, but it felt as though I were not parted from you for so long, but it seems I was wrong. Why are you imprisoned?”
“My sister’s followers thought I had been part of a plot to oppose her. A rebellion that included plans for my marriage has been discovered and prevented. Although he who raised the rebellion has been sent to his death and he declared most emphatically - so I am told - that I am innocent and a loyal subject of the Queen. That, with the obvious lack of evidence against me has saved me from execution; I am nevertheless, imprisoned here, in this dire place, surrounded by a hundred guards. I carve, therefore:
‘Much suspected by me,
Nothing proved can be.’
Katherine moved up overhead in order to watch the progress of her new little friend and the unfortunate governess.
Katherine visited the child often. She took particular delight in everything she did. Every new experience, every lesson. Watching as the little girl studied or sitting rapt by her side as she learned to play her instruments, Katherine was aware she was growing fond of the little girl who had no mother and whose father all but ignored her very existence.
Katherine also knew she needed to find Dominic’s new self. It was difficult to keep track of him, the spirits moved him on often and when his body died, it could take a number of years before he was reborn. It could never be described as exact science.
One winter morning, Katherine awakened Elizabeth.
“Kat? What is it? It is early yet,” the little girl said rubbing her eyes and trying to focus.
“My Lady Elizabeth, it is not Kat, but Katherine. I have come to tell you I must go away. I will return to you, but it may not be for a long time. Please do not forget me.”
Elizabeth sat up in her large bed, ignoring the chill in the room despite the fire, still in from the previous night. She held her arms out to Katherine and held on tight as they embraced.
“Has my father sent you away Katherine? He always sends people away.”
“No, Elizabeth, your father does not know of me, only you do. I explained that to you.”
Elizabeth nodded; tears sprang to her eyes, but did not fall. “Do you promise to return to me? Not abandon me?”
“I promise. I would not go, I don’t want to leave you, but I must. Be brave little one, you have a great responsibility ahead of you. More than you know. Go back to sleep now.”
Katherine left the little girl and with great sadness in her heart began her search.
After only a short time of searching, Katherine felt a pull on her heart; the sensation was faint and unpleasant. She had not yet found Dominic’s new incarnation and was frustrated. So began thinking of calling for aid from Morgana. In order to distract herself from that notion, she followed the unpleasant sensation.
As Katherine roamed above the earth, searching for the source of the powerful and unpleasant tow, she saw a large house, separated from the small town by a dense forest. As she approached, the house looked more to be a number of separate buildings that happened to be joined together. It did not look as though the building had much planning prior to its construction. To Katherine, it looked as though many of the parts were after-thoughts with some time between their constructions and probably as many different architects as there were additions.
Katherine descended and approached the house from the ground. She had no idea whether she approached the front, rear or side of the building. Towers and chimneys reached upwards from the building. Turret and portico were dotted about with no sense of rhyme or reason, as were window and buttress.
A most confusing array of building styles met Katherine’s awe.
In the window of a gatehouse, she spied the cause of her discomfort. Elizabeth! The girl was a child no more, she had grown into a young woman. Katherine remembered the warning her mother had given about time passing swiftly.
Katherine appeared at Elizabeth’s side, where she leaned on the sill of the window, carving in a diligent and absorbed manner.
“What are you carving, My Lady Elizabeth?” Katherine whispered and was startled when Elizabeth jumped with a violence that spoke of constant isolation. The girl had not expected interruption because she was never interrupted.
Elizabeth dropped the delicate knife she held and turned around. “How did you get in here? There are guards posted all around at all times. Are you come to assassinate me?”
“No, Elizabeth. It is Katherine, your friend from your childhood.”
“Yes, I remember you, Katherine, but you left such a long time ago. You promised you would not desert me, but I needed a friend so many times and you were not here.” Elizabeth didn’t seem tearful. Though she was clearly upset, she had an air about her that told Katherine she was used to being upset and had trained herself to not let it show.
“I cannot explain to you why I was apart from you, I cannot comprehend it myself, but it felt as though I were not gone from you for so long, but it seems I was wrong. Why are you imprisoned?”
“My sister’s followers thought I had been part of a plot to oppose her. A rebellion that included plans for my marriage has been discovered and prevented, I am pleased to say. Although he who raised the rebellion has been sent to his death and he declared most emphatically - so I am told - that I am innocent and a loyal subject of the Queen. That, with the obvious lack of evidence against me has saved me from execution. I am nevertheless, imprisoned here, in this dire place, surrounded by a hundred guards. I carve, therefore:
‘Much suspected by me,
Nothing proved can be.’
This story has it's own twists and turns...very good.
Thank you :)
It would seem almost that Elizabeth is losing her sanity after being locked up for so long, I guess most of us would. I am curious as to what Elizabeth was carving? have you thought about giving us a clue or reworking it that: "Katherine watched Elizabeth carving a "Bishop" for a chess set.."why a bishop Elizabeth..." Elizabeth was known for having one of the most strategic minds of her time. Maybe we will get to see what she was carving in next bit. Thank you.
She carved these words in the windowsill:
‘Much suspected by me,
Nothing proved can be.’
I believe the windowsill was rescued and preserved when Woodstock Manor was demolished to make way for Blenheim Palace.
Oh now I understand, I thought she was "Carving something, I missed that the carving was in the window sill." Must read more closely. Sorry I missed that.
No, not at all. I haven't made it clear enough, I should make sure it is... Re-edit! :)
👍
Awesome post !
hello, @michelle.gent
![re-steem.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmXaMasHrdJnSQuJ5sS1j76nJpGLsV752BXi7629BfUV3q/re-steem.jpg)
This story has it's own twists and turns...very good.
thanks for posting
Do me a favour and don't bother voting on my work any more. I'd really appreciate it because you upvote my post at 1% which takes 2 hours to prepare and post and then you put a copy/paste throw-away comment and upvote it at 20%
I don't need your 1% that bad. Cheers, thanks... bubye!
mohammedfelahi upvote @michelle.gent/how-i-edit-my-own-work-plus-a-story… (1%)
mohammedfelahi upvote @mohammedfelahi/re-michellegent-how-i-edit-my-own-… (20%)
Oh and for the record, I see your 20% upvote on your comment and raise you a 20% flag
You are just to much sometimes. That had me laughing . We all need a good laugh at times.
I say it as I see it :)