Memoirs: Life Insurance or I lost all my money and it was worth every penny

in #writing7 years ago (edited)

     I started into the intensive process of training to be a life insurance agent the day after I got to Spokane. There are three main barriers to entry for that job, first you must study and complete your license exams. Second, You must memorize a ten page script. Finally, you must perform the script in front of a coworker, record the 45 minute process and then review the entire thing with your boss. 

     None of these were easy and they required me to summon new levels of courage and focus to accomplish them. But I drew deep from the well we all carry and I found it in myself to rise to the occasion. I still remember reviewing the video with Brandon, I was pointing out tiny flaws left and right during the whole thing. He only ended up giving me two small things to work on. 

     But these weren't my own obstacles at the time. Every Thursday was booking night, a boiler room scenario in which we called leads and booked appointments. This is terrifying, not only are you trying to call a complete stranger and get them agree to an hour long presentation about life insurance, but everyone in the room can hear your trembling voice as you fumble through the script. It was dreadful but I kept going and eventually I got pretty good at booking, meaning when people answered the phone I tended to set the appointment. I learned to be pretty indifferent to the maniacal outbursts so common when calling strangers about life insurance. I was beginning to equip myself with a response for every objection. I'll never forget the time I booked a lady who's husband had died 3 days prior to my call, I was pretty ruthless when it came to getting those appointments.

     The rest of the week was spent doing ride-alongs with released agents.This is how I got to know the wonderful people I worked with, they are some of the most ambitious people I have ever met and they're great folks to be around. I look fondly back on those times, Tim, Nina, Joe, Brandon, thank you for giving me the opportunity to get to know you! Out of all those people I spent the most time with Tim, we got along like old friends from the start. He is a big, jovial guy with a voice that rivals thunder, a love for people, and a sense of humor every bit as fucked as mine. We both shared a passion for personal growth too. We could be making a joke about a pedophile one moment and launch into a deep discussion about the meaning of life, I will never forget the time we tried to figure out how to calculate compound interest with monthly additions in our heads, only to Google it and find its a formula so complex we couldn't understand it when we saw it. He did a lot more than teach me about the business, Tim is one of the most influential people in my life, his experiences and insight have shaped the way I move through the world. I learned to stop apologizing for my existence from Tim. 

     This training process was invaluable and I recognized it as such. But my savings were dwindling and my feet were dragging. I hadn't taken but one or two days off since I had been in Spokane, the better part of a month and a half, and I was worn out by the 12-16 hour days I was putting in. But I kept grinding away.

     Soon I finished my training and I was released into the field. My next hurdle was a big one. I had to make an entire presentation in front of Tim. I love the guy and I wanted to show just how much I had learned, how grateful I was for all his investment in me. It was because I didn't want to disappoint and I was trying so damn hard to do it perfectly for him that I was bombing horribly, stammering and losing my train of thought. Now this will make you feel sick, all I had invested, all everyone had invested in me, and I couldn't do a damn presentation to save my life. Savings gone and now I'm falling back to earth. Whistle a pretty tune on the way down Icarus. 

     But Tim did something brilliant, he could see it was him being there that was making me nervous as hell. So he told me to go to the rest of my appointments myself. The wave of relief that swept over me was tidal. So I went to those appointments, nervous as heck, it wasn't quite hell anymore.

     Meanwhile Eddie was ahead of me in the same process by a few weeks and things were going to hell in a hand basket for him. He was on tilt and his appointments were all going south, he was further up the creek than I was. I was both bummed for him and extremely worried that I was on the same track. But I trudged onward.

     I went from one appointment to the next, flop after flop. It wouldn't have been so painful if it wasn't for the fact that I was flat broke, I was running out of the rice and beans I'd been living on for weeks. My biggest splurge was a piece of fruit or two on occasion. I would always feel bad for it but I was so sick of rice and beans I couldn't always resist temptation. I did my best to keep a good attitude but things were starting to look incredibly grim. my bank account was down to a mere $7. I was almost out of gas. I hadn't eaten all day, I was out of food. I didn't make a single sale in the 6 appointments I had that day and rent was due in only a few days. So as I drove up to my final appointment I was screaming my lungs out and breathing between sobs as I watched my venture crash around me. All this work to be starving with a quarter tank of gas and an eviction on the way, I was so focused on the money. I needed it, badly.

     As I was having this crisis I entered a dialogue with myself. "You're not going to die, live the story you want to tell your kids some day."

      In the moments before I walked up to their door I let go. A dam in me broke and I was flooded with peace. Forget the sale, forget the money, I am here to take care of these people and that is the end of it. No matter what happens as long as I serve them I have done my job. I realized I was in the service industry. How difficult would it be to ask someone for five dollars? How easy would it be to give someone twenty dollars? Well, in sales you're doing both. It costs them something but you're giving them much more in return. The key is to focus on the value. The first person you sell is yourself.

     So I took care of the people. Our 8 P.M. appointment stretched toward 11 p.m. but I just patiently answered every single one of their questions. And, in the end they bought, I made my first sale. I went from a $7 balance to having my expenses covered for the month. Money might not make you happy, but not having money doesn't make you happy either. I was driving down the grassy hill their house sits atop of, screaming wildly with the windows down and all the stars winked at me. 

     As I listened to the wind whipping through my car, The Dirty White Neon or Yoshima, I reflected on the lesson I just learned: Take care of the people, and the money will take care of itself.

Hello Steemit! My name is Jonathan Turnick

I am a writer and poet based in the Pacific Northwest of the United States

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The Memoirs Project:

Memoirs: The furniture store or it's not hard to assume your life away

Memoirs: Moving to Spokane or When every day is a Season Finale

Memoirs: Losing all my money was worth every penny

Memoirs: Two Fake British Girls and a Real Russian, No ice...

Memoirs: How Molly changed my life

Memoirs: Red Rose in a Porcelain Vase


My best poetry

Butcher Block Block

Across the pale horizon

Whispered in Heartbeats

Golden Wings: An angel and her demons


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