On God's Existence

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Ever since I was a kid I have always wondered how GOD would look like. In the cartoons that I used to watch they always portray HIM as a voice beyond the clouds or a ray of light beaming down to earth. I even have this notion that HE was a real big alien giant that has the power to hear our thoughts and see our every action like we were under HIS giant microscope. To add to my confusion in one bible story HE was portrayed as a burning bush. I once asked a priest why GOD does not show himself to me he just told me that if I saw GOD I will surely be dead because of his majesty. I didn’t follow what he was trying to say. I just concluded what he meant was to see GOD I must be dead so that I can go to heaven and see HIM. I thought it was unfair he totally missed my question.

Throughout the years my perception of GOD evolved, from the big alien giant to a genie who grants wishes or an invisible best friend who always finds time to listen. There was even a point in my life that I have liken GOD as a make believe character made for kids like Santa Clause or the tooth fairy. Of course as I grew older I have resigned myself to the notion that we can never know GOD or even prove HE really existed. A friend of mine once asked me did GOD made man or it was the other way around. She reckoned that that if there is no man there is no GOD. As a rational being her argument totally made sense to me. She further added that man created God so that they can hold on to something when they are in despair. Then she asks me to prove that God exist. Show to her or describe at least how GOD looks like. I had no answer and just brush her question off as nonsense. I thought to myself maybe she’s correct there is no GOD. I kept this believe a secret. Our family is not that religious type but anything as absurd as saying GOD does not exist is totally taboo. Surely I’ll get a good whacking from my grandma if she ever finds out what I thinking. I just went on with my life doing the mechanical process of going to church every Sunday and observing the many traditions the church requires as doing.

All of these changed when I met my boyfriend. One time I confessed to him that I do not believe that GOD exist. He looked at me and smiled. Then he asked me why. Using the same line of arguments my friend told me years ago I told him my reasons. I even told him that the Bible was a bunch of books gathered together by man and those books were written by man and not GOD. I thought he would just brush off my arguments and tell me to stop being silly. But instead he replied: Faith Seeking Understanding.

He told me that before we can discuss about GOD’s existence there must be Faith that seeks the truth that is GOD in order to understand. If there is no Faith therefore there is nothing to discuss. You cannot see GOD because you are already expecting there is nothing to see. What do you expect to see he asked? I don’t know I answered. Then how do you know you are not seeing HIM? We do not comprehend the very nature of GOD that is why we seek understanding and we have faith that there is something to be seen, we just do not know what is yet. You have faith and you sought to understand what did you understand about HIM? I asked. I don’t fully understand yet either, but other great minds have thought about it and gave compelling evidence of HIS existence he said. They said that if we look at the tiniest thing like the atom and look at the night sky and see the galaxies we can observe order as if someone has designed it and that designer must be GOD. If you look everywhere there is motion surely there is an original mover that set off these movements that first mover must be GOD. We are familiar about the notion of being the best or being perfect. Therefore we have a sense of degree of goodness. The ultimate goodness will most certainly be GOD. As you can see HE is everywhere we just don’t understand it yet.

What are we talking about? He asked. GOD I answer. If GOD does not exist why are we talking about it? We wouldn’t have this conversation about GOD in the first place. The very moment that we are thinking about HIM he already existed. You said the Bible was not written by GOD? What is the very first thing that comes to mind when I ask you what is the word of GOD ? The Bible I answered. Then he smiled again. He then reasoned that we must be crazy if GOD did not exist because we would have been talking about nothing the whole time. If you really want to find HIM and if really want to know HIM then go and read the Bible- the word of GOD. He has always been there talking it is just a question if we are ready and willing to listen.

Wait I complained. We are just going circles here. Ah that’s it! He exclaimed. You have just discovered one of GOD’s nature. HE is the beginning and HE is the end. The alpha and the Omega. At this point may head is was getting really heavy and I am experiencing a headache. He laugh then said if we were talking about nothing you should not be experience information overload. Just imagine if just thinking about HIM is making your head explode what would it be like in HIS awesome presence. I would have been dead I said, and that is why HE does not show HIS full grandeur to us he quipped. Go ahead read the bible if you want to know HIM. Remember read it with Faith, seeking the truth about GOD and try to Understand he reminded.

After that mentally exhausting discussion about GOD I went to bed to take some rest. Beside the bed there was this little bible that I had been keeping due to sentimental value. Then it dawn on to me that very person that gave me that bible was the same person that convince me that there is no GOD. Odd isn’t it. She gave me the Bible because she has no use for it.

I read the Bible presupposing that GOD does exist but by reading it that way has brought more questions than answers. If GOD truly exist HE, as the Bible says is the source of all creation and HE is Good all the time then who created evil. Another question is If HE made man and woman In HIS own image and likeness then why there is much ugliness and evil in man or woman? Why did GOD made man or woman it the first place. Why do I exist? What is my purpose? There is so much affliction in this world that maybe ceasing to exist is the best option. I went back to my boyfriend and shared him my thoughts. He and hugged me and told me that everything is okay. That it is natural. That is the searching part. Now I have to work on my understanding. But how? I Asked. Read the Bible again everything is in there but to help you understand you have to experience HIM he answered.

As much as I would want to share my understanding and answer on those questions I would be doing a great disservice to all if I try to cram everything here in one reflection. With that I end my reflection and I will share you my thoughts about those questions some other time. Good bye for now and I hope this sheds some light on the question about GOD’s existence.

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@mers
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