Reclaiming My Time: Introversion and Authenticity on the Blockchain
![thought-catalog-214785-unsplash copy.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZbfrhzbqHxtiHDWhKrYqXXJu5PjXWTK2RK9yx4aML5CA/thought-catalog-214785-unsplash%20copy.jpg)
Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash
I’m a deep thinker. I like to ponder things, weigh my feelings and values, consider other’s words, and respond when I fully understand myself in relation to the context at hand. If you ask me a question, I will respond in the fullness of time, but I do not like to be rushed.
I often refer to my writing process as “percolating.” I take in information, watch it swirl and settle in my mind, examine it from many different angles, shuffle it into my existing worldview, let it shake things up where necessary, pull it apart, put it back together, filter out what is unnecessary, and then I write. It’s not a fast process, by any means, and if I feel at all pressured, I grow flustered and impulsive. I say things in haste that I later regret, because these things don’t reflect my values or beliefs—they are often only what I think others want to hear, or else peevish words snapped in frustration.
This poses a problem when trying to engage with a massive community like Steemit. There are so many great posts, and so many Steemit and Discord communities to join in and support, each of them deserving of full and authentic engagement. However, reading posts, processing them, and responding with a well thought-out comment takes time and energy. I am excited to participate, but there’s only so many hours in a day, and only so much I can do before it feels like my brain has turned to mush and dribbled out my ears. (Ew.)
So what do I do? I have finite energy. If I push too hard, I will burn out, and then I’ll need to disappear and be useless for days on end. I want to engage and sometimes I can’t; the key is admitting just that. There are a lot of people who promote ways to be successful on Steemit, most of which are geared towards a more extraverted process. Many recommend posting every single day, which is totally impossible for me. I need time to think, to ‘percolate’ my ideas, and I need above all to be true to myself—posting every single day is just way too much for me.
When I come here, I bring my whole self, which is the only way I know how to exist in the world. I’ve been focused on powering up my SP, because the value of this platform (for me, at least) lies in compensating the intellectual and artistic work of others. This is what I want to do with my account.
Tomorrow I’ll have been on Steemit for a month. My reputation score is 47. I’ve started an ongoing fiction story via the awesome #freewrite community. I helped judge a feminist writing contest. I’ve met some wonderful Steemians. It’s been amazing, and it’s been exhausting; a lot of work, requiring a lot of recovery time.
I’m still considering how best to engage with folks moving forward. In the meantime, I’d like to share just a few of my favorite things, apps and such that make my life a little better and help me recover my energy. I’ve also included a list of other introverts who I think bring great content to Steemit.
![jen-p-541459-unsplash copy.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmYc5Jx8qgdAeFnPCaH4QJyvzFSqHjNPsqpVjrVPTGqY1g/jen-p-541459-unsplash%20copy.jpg)
Photo by Jen P. on Unsplash
Introvert joys:
Girls Night In Club: a weekly round-up of good reads, fun tips, and relatable content for those of us who like to stay in. (This is a referral link.)
Spotify: in particular, my ‘Chill Vibes’ playlist—this goes perfectly with some tea and a good read.
MyNoise: this website/app is a sound generator. It allows you to customize sounds using a variety of slides, and even to combine several boards into a 'multigen'—for instance, I have combined 'Cafe Restaurant,' 'Furry Friend,' and 'Irish Coast' into a multigen I titled "Petting a cat on a rainy day in a cafe on the coast." MyNoise is highly customizable, and I love to use it for creating soothing background noise when I'm feeling anxious or upset. The app is free (I have it on my iPad), but a one-time donation ot support the developer unlocks all of the sound boards, and any future sounds created. I donated ages ago, and it was totally worth it.
mint truffle hot cocoa: the comfort of a mug of cocoa can really lift up my mood if I’m feeling a little stressed. It’s nice to treat myself when I’m feeling battered by the world.
Kindle for iPad: I’m currently working my way through the Collected Poems of Sylvia Plath, Wuthering Heights, and Diasporic Africa: A Reader. A book for every mood, eminently portable. Love it.
Fellow introverts:
@maverickinvictus shared a post the other day about being an introvert: Misconceptions on being Introverts | My life as a wallflower
@rachelhanson10, “a self-described introvert, channels her introversion to help others build sustainable lives that recognize the needs of the individual as well as the needs of the group”—she’s a totally chill, super supportive person in several Discord groups, and I’m glad to know her!
@bestowingfire, another really awesome and selfless person I know, is the one behind #shareinspireconquer, and has written about introversion on his own website in the past: http://www.bestowingfire.com/struggles-introvert/
@idenkcall, who says this about being an introvert: “Sometimes we push our boundries to the limit. It doesn't help that the extroverted world does as well. Sometimes you need to step back from the art, writing, or laptop; take a well deserved break, Or, treat yourself to those mediums. Your choice”
@aislingcronin, who is such a sweet, compassionate person, recently wrote about introversion in the context of animal rights activism: https://steemit.com/vegan/@aislingcronin/how-i-became-vegan
![toa-heftiba-449816-unsplash copy.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmRzFmtQDyinvn9z6jBwN34FwwfFTfzen3YHKzwHVd4DGv/toa-heftiba-449816-unsplash%20copy.jpg)
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
Ultimately, I guess the answer to how I get through this is still being true to myself. I love what I’ve seen of Steemit so far. People seem to be building community and supporting each other, especially through the Discord servers. I’ve had great interactions on the @teamgirlpowa server, in Steemit LGBT+, in the @isleofwrite, and on @thesteemengine. I haven’t engaged much in some of the other groups, but I’m looking forward to finding my own way of participating that allows me to protect my energy while building relationships, finding and creating value, and being my whole self.
I don’t know what this will look like tomorrow, next week, or next year, but I want to stick around. And if I disappear for a little bit, I’ll be back—I’m just taking time to rest and recover, so I can come back ready to support others.
Thanks for reading, and if you're an introvert doing your thing here on Steemit, drop me a comment—I'd love to chat!
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Thanks for picking my post to include, and for the great work you're doing to create real connection and community here on Steemit!
I can relate to this. I tend to go overboard then need to retreat. Take care of you, so you can keep showing up. At your own pace. :)
Thanks. I'm figuring out my pace here, so it's definitely some growing pains, but folks have been so welcoming and great, for the most part. <3
Great to meet you tonight on Pimp Your Post Thursday
I'm looking forward to you coming back again.
Thanks!
This is a beautiful, honest, heartfelt post and I can relate to so much of what you said. I know that after writing the Granuaile post, I had to disappear for a few days. I went online a couple of times to have a quick look at things that other people were writing and upvote their posts, but I didn't feel able to write again myself until last night.
The Granuaile post was quite an emotional one for me, as I expressed so much of the heartache I had been feeling in the days prior to writing it. The outcome of that rape case verdict I mentioned in it took a huge toll on me - one that I'm still working through, to be honest!
Take all the time you need to recover and regain your energy. I'm sure that judging the history contest was immensely rewarding, but intense too. All of your loyal followers will still be here when you come back to Steemit, and we'll be excited to see what you write next! ❤😊 I always love reading your work.
Thanks. That's one of the things about writing out your pain—it can be really draining. I'm glad you wrote it and shared it! ❤️
The contest was a lot of time and energy for me, and I don't regret it at all, but I definitely need a rest.
We've been lucky to have your precious time. My hope is that we can stay focused and pleasant for you and other true introverts. Unlike shy extroverts like myself.. or idk what i am. But im grateful. Ty
I I often refer back to feedback I started getting in first grade - take your time (recorded in my journal at the time as "take my tim".).
I am so glad you're here in whatever way that means for you ❤️❤️❤️.
Thanks! I definitely do take my time. I sometimes battle shame over it, though. I'm trying to accept myself and my process as it is, instead of pushing myself to do more faster and then crashing. ❤️
The struggle is so real!
Take all the time you need, fellow introvert. All the Gods in the universe know I do. I can't take much human interaction, so I do a lot of talking online.
Just find what works for you.
When it comes to art, we can't rush. I tried it, and I'm finding that it's a terrible idea. I love your work. I look forward to seeing you more. (When you have the energy to.)
Thanks! I've been a little less active this week, and I'm feeling better for it. <3
Such a thoughtful posts. I agree too. I could not post everyday, and I struggle with the idea of every week. On Facebook, I couldn’t even maintain every month.
Also, I’m a private person in real life. So it’s fighting that idea and putting myself out there with my writing that I’ll always struggle with. I’m still not sure what I want to do with Steemit. I just see it as an “Inspiration Catcher” and an opportunity to challenge myself. But each posts is a footprint, and as unrealistic as it seems, I’d like them to be imprints I am proud of, that reflects who I am, rather than a rushed desperate attempt to be noticed. If I’m to be noticed, I want to feel enriched by knowing it’s by people who might get me or the message I wish to convey. Besides being introverted, it’s quite hard knowing you’re often misunderstood. So Steemit is an opportunity to connect with different people.
I think @teamgirlpowa and the @Isleofwrite are fabulous communities. I think at most I have time to invest in one more, but it’s finding a the right community that’s hardest for me. As you also said, our time is finite, and I feel that social media (especially for the introvert) has the risk of sucking too much energy. In the past, I’ve invested too deeply with online identities and forums, what I’ve found is that it drains me too much. So it’s continually finding that balance that still inspires and energise, rather than becoming so deeply affected by others and worrying about them. And that’s the crux of my real life introversion, I’m very sensitive of my environment and the emotions of others in my vicinity. So it’s easier to maintain distance.
Disappearing for awhile is perfectly fine and advisable. We need to always maintain the connection between online and RL.
Apologies if I sound preachy, these are just my own thoughts as I wonder the Net and self reflect on my online experiences. I very much enjoy your thought-provoking posts.
This is what it comes down to for me a lot as well. Investing time and energy beyond my ability to keep up is very draining. Don't worry, you don't sound preachy. :)
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!
Thank you for the appreciation fellow introvert and I too felt that posting once a day, all the interactions and the questions of newbies might be too much for me to handle so I have my off days in which I recharge and get my bearings.
Bare minimum engagement, skilling posting by a few hours and reading a book while drinking coffee. It releases all my tensions and after a while I am ready again.
Definitely some fellow introverts that I will check out.
Thank you for sharing! Tea and a book is my fave for decompressing.
I've been thinking of asking around to see if anyone might be interested in a group for introverts around here. Not sure what it might look like, but it might be nice to have a chill space to chat/commiserate, with no obligations.
This is a really thoughtful post. I still don't know where to put myself on that spectrum. I always thought of myself as an extrovert. I do well in social situations, but I find more and more that I'd really just rather not. I used to want to interact more for sure, but I've never been one to really want to be in social situations often. Anyway, I don't guess it matters, but I can definitely identify with a lot of what you've said. I absolutely cannot skim a post. I have to read it thoroughly, and I have to comment thoughtfully or not at all. And that consumes a lot of energy. I just can't really manage discord. Writing, reading, and commenting is the extent of it for me. Especially with the chaos of life with a partner and kids. In any case, thanks for sharing this. It's helped me think about and honor some things.
Thanks for reading and sharing with me. I also used to think of myself as an extrovert, because I took introvert to mean shy. But since I hit my mid-20s my capacity for and desire to be in a lot of social situations has rapidly declined. I have always been something of a homebody, and now that's even more true!
I'm glad sharing my thoughts about this has helped you to honor your own experiences.
It's sort of odd. I really, really don't like being in situations around people I know but don't like or feel neutral about. I am happy to be around people I am deeply connected to, and I am actually fine to be around people I don't know at all. Like I get excited thinking about traveling and meeting people on big adventures, but going to the village across the river just sounds awful. It's this odd combination of homebody who really loves adventure and travel. I just have to have a balance maybe.
My first international travel experience was a study abroad in Ghana, where I lived for four months. Go big or go home, I guess!
I get that. I'm a go big or go home girl too. Did you enjoy Ghana? My first was Bolivia which is incredibly beautiful, and the people were very, very kind.
Ghana was amazing, and I'm so glad I went. I got needed distance and perspective on my life. I also ate a really simple, home-made diet, and I think that helped with my health. Plus, everyone I met was really friendly. I hope I can go back again someday, because I loved it.
Oh my. I'm gonna have to add it to my list. Sailing to Africa has always been on my list, but as it still seems so far off, I haven't gotten super clear on where I want to visit when I get there. One of my best friends is in Guinea right now, and he's loving it.
I adored Ghana, and totally recommend it. Can't speak for other parts of the continent, though I hear nice things about Togo, Liberia, and Morocco.