💜💭Let's Talk About This Fear Thing... How I Overcame My Deepest Fear (I Never Would Have Guessed This Would Be The Way) 💃

in #story7 years ago

Fear is a real beast isn't it? I can tell you, I let it haunt and prey on me.

It seeks me out, smells me from afar and pounces on me like a thief in the night, I hardly ever even see it coming before it's too late. It is especially ferocious for me and it has the tendency to manipulate how I view and deal with situations that can in turn, affect me quite negatively in my life.


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Prior to yesterday, I had a incapacitating fear of flying I told you about it the other day and I was showered with lovely messages that comforted and supported me into marching onto that airplane. (Thanks guys!)

With wide eyes, an anxiously over-working mind and a mission to accomplish, I set out on my adventure. All that time in the sky got me thinking... I began to dissect the very fear I was feeling and put it into images my mind could connect to easily.

Fear drains the color from my world, making everything seem dark or light, black or white...

The plane was shaking like a piece of chicken in a shake-and-bake bag.

Was there someone bigger than us, some giant baby out there confusing us for a rattle? It felt like the wings were ripping off. I had an image of a whale, with such force sucking in hundreds of tiny fish into his mouth in one gulp... it felt like the sky was trying to suck us in, in the same way and my anxiety was rioting.

Calm down... flying is the safest form of travel... there are hundreds of flights that are in the sky, perfectly safe every day... I kept thinking about the comments you left me on my last blog.

Head pounding, worst-case scenarios screaming their way into my thoughts, heart threatening to jump out of my chest... It wasn't working.


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I could see in my mind fear as an image, as a black monster, a beast!

I continued that train of thought and in considering fear as a beast, let my mind flow into the story of 'Beauty and the Beast'. The Beast is wild, unruly, untamed, unknown. His motives and his actions are unpredictable and thus, causing beautiful Belle, to feel fear. The fear aspect is being driven from the unknown (a stranger) and is amplified by the fact that the situation (magical spell, half-man-half-beast) is all unknown territory as well, making it even more terrifying. More unknown= more fear.


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I fear the dark, as if my eyes were closed, what I cannot see and what I do not know.


In life, nothing is ever certain and uncertainty causes me to feel threatened, stimulating the fear response. However, if nothing is ever certain except that nothing will ever be certain because that's the only thing I am certain about ;) then, fear will run me over time and time again... unless I learn to view it from a new perspective.

What happens later in the famous story? How does Belle transform what once was fear and anger into love?

Belle learns to trust Beast and as she gets to know him, become familiar, the fear and resentment starts to disappear and love is able to form. Belle's heart was open to the possibility of "something there that wasn't there before," to quote Mrs. Potts. Could there be something there that wasn't there before, for me?


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Disney was incredibly influential for me growing up and I like to pull back from my early childhood years and form connections from those long term memories. The songs, story lines, characters are perfectly etched in my mind and therefore are very effective to use as learning tools for me now. Memory connections are strong when associated to an image, a song, a mapped gateway to finding what you're looking for. I learned how to remember sequences by creating mind maps from my long term memories and so, why not try it with this? With this theory, I could associate my fear within the story of Beauty and the Beast and walk my mind through it every time I began to feel this fear.

Historically, I have been viewing flying as something I fear, something I "hate." Now, I have always known better than that, but yet I kept doing it, amplifying the fear in my mind, granting it power over my thoughts and emotions. Telling myself that it's this monster trying to consume me! No wonder why flying was such a dramatic experience for me. No one is really keen to get eaten are they?

If Belle looked at the Beast the same way I have been looking at flying for the whole story, her heart never would have opened up to him and she never would have been able to see what he really was.

Her shield of rejection and denial would have consumed her and she likely would have locked herself away to starve like Beast threatened. (Notice how Beast challenges Belle to change her opinion, her disposition to save herself from her otherwise doom?)

Belle has a choice to make (just like I do.)

On one hand she can succumb to her fright instincts, live her days in dismay, allowing fear to have power over her and hold her captive or she can release her mind from those unhelpful thoughts, give herself a chance and power through her mind, break open her heart and through that find freedom and love!


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I much prefer freedom and love over pain and imprisonment.

If Belle would have chosen option one, we all would have missed the beautiful ending resulting in.... love. What is love? Acceptance! What's that opposite of? Rejection and uncertainty! What's fear based off of? Rejection of the unknown.

I've been sabotaging myself this whole time!

I could be dancing with fear in the ballroom, free from it's grasp, living alongside it in harmony instead of hiding from it, locked away in my room crying about it.


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Well, now I just feel silly for all that wasted time!

I found myself singing these lyrics in my head, a perfect fit to my new perspective...

"Bitter-sweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong"

Now, whenever I feel fear in the shadows, lurking behind, tempting my senses to start to excite... I will remember that I want to be freed Belle, empowered Belle, who we all love and adore... not chained up, begging for life to show her mercy in a tower, Belle.

Fear is designed in my mind's eye, what we create is what we experience. Like a switch of a button, I am set free by these words "I am BRAVE!"

XO,

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I know what you feel, because I've had anxiety attacks. When fear hits you, close your eyes and picture the Jolly Pirate holding your hand and sending you a ton of love, take a deep breath, relax, and smile.

I love your new avatar @drakos, it's so epic! It's like shooting awesome-ness at me :)
I will hold this picture in my mind if I get scared on the way back ;)
Hopefully I can use my new technique to keep me calm! Thanks for the support 💜

Also try some chamomile or green tea before your flight, it will calm you down.

Green tea? I never thought of that since it's energizing! Chamomile would be nice though mmmm :) I actually did really well this time, got myself some new tricks- maybe I will actually be able to get back to Canada at some point after all ;)

Tea contains caffeine, a stimulant, BUT green tea contains more L-Theanine than black tea, which is a calming molecule that counters the effects of caffeine. L-Theanine is even sold as supplement to fight anxiety. One 200mg pill and you'll feel like a hindu cow for the rest of the day! And it's a natural molecule without any side effects. If you drink green tea for a few days, you will feel a big difference.

Hahaha like a hindu cow! I love it- sign me up! Thanks @drakos :)

Hahaha! You made my day by this quote : The plane was shaking like a piece of chicken in a shake-and-bake bag.
So glad that you made it safe and sound @heart-to-heart!
Cheers
@progressivechef

;) Thanks chef, safe and sound- now just have to do it all over again tomorrow! AHHH! Hopefully my fear stays at bay :)

You are such a brave girl @heart-to-heart! After that small inconvenience, all will be back to normal! I'm so glad for you!
Have a nice flight dear!Lol!

Chef! I survived! I am alive! I am so excited to be back on land (and back in Bali) now I just have a bunch to catch up on buttt I got some really yummy health foods so I can play in the kitchen again ;) We should start our own competition soon! Singing in the kitchen with chefs :)

Oh my dear, I am so glad to read back from you! You got a lot to catch up I'm sure!
Take your time to settle down again then we can talk more abt it!
I'm really very happy!
Cheers

Hi, such a inspirational post! Thank you for writing it and good job on overcoming your fear! :)

Hi @mialinnea :) It was my pleasure to write it, I really found a lot of help in this perspective. I am happy to hear that sharing it is inspiring people- that makes me want to share even more! Hope you have a great day and that no fear is holding you back!

Yes, putting words on feelings and explaining them to others is a great way of processing fear :) I am just waiting to get my tooth pulled out, trying not to feel too stressed :D

Oh my goodness! Well, I hope you're not too scared! I will be thinking about you! I really don't like dental experiences either! I wish you the best with it! Take care and recover quickly! 💜💜💜

Hi, thanks! :) It went quite quickly and painlessly and doesn't hurt anymore. Was definitely not fun but not as bad as I had imagined it would be :P

Awww I am glad to hear you're doing just fine then :)
Enjoy the weekend :) 💙

Omgsh! Great post. I actually just posted about my fear of writing. I find it amazing that fear is usually stemmed from insecurities or just purely thinking of "what if" scenarios​.

Absolutely! We can always come up with the worst case scenarios in our minds but rarely are those ever going to be the case. I hope you're able to conquer or at least manage your own fears and that you find a way to continue writing :)
💜

Absolutely! Thanks for the sweet comment :)

Hey, of course! We can encourage the fear away together! :)

your topic is very good , thankyou for sharing @heart-to-heart, i like it
plis vote me back
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@ril21/5xm89f-introduce-my-self

It's so Refreshing to read Your Post voted.I tried some poetry hope you like it @funnystuff

I love this so much. It is so awesome to people like yourself that don't let fear dictate their lives. Most people don't realize the word "fear" was made up by the elites hundreds of years ago to stand for "false emotions appearing real."

Glad to see someone else who knows this, keep doing great things soo... :)

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Hi @chiefmappster, of course I accept! Thank you so much for checking it out! I love that you mentioned "false emotions appearing real" I keep coming back to that in life and yet something keeps making me forget (until I get scared again and have to remember again) ;)
It's always good to have a reminder, it forces us to grow and learn! Thanks for reading this! =D

Ayyyyyy that warms my heart to hear. Keep it up you are progressing at a rapid pace and the universe is noticing, keep doing great things crystal soul :)

Congrats again :)

Me? No way! ;) I am just over here at the campfire telling crazy stories and singing songs about Steemit ;)
Thanks for coming by and blessing my page with your wonderful-ness :)
I'll have to stop messing around and get back to posting here at some point! My Steemfest video took me over for a bit ;)
Thanks for making me feel like a million dollars!
💜💜💜

Awh shucks :)

And that sounds like the dream right there o weeeeee lucky you :)

Thank you for your words they warm my heart namaste

That's great that you have been able to go on this journey, thanks for sharing it so maybe other people can find freedom from the fear in their mind. Your doing a great job on steemit, following for good content, thank you.

I would love it if I could help people with their fears- fear has been such a negative influence in my life. It's kept me in compromising and challenging positions for years. I hope through sharing it can be a bit motivational and that we can work together to get past these things that hold us back knowing that others feel the same! :)

Thank you so much for saying that, I really want to promote love and inspiration around here using my heart as the influence for that. Thank you for noticing and following along. I am happy to have you here and I hope you have a wonderful week! XO

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