Forbidden - 5 Minute Freewrite (Weekend)

in #story7 years ago (edited)


There I was, just standing there, when what I wanted to do was forbidden.

I was the one he'd trained, that he'd trusted. I had made a promise. Following the death of my mother in the second Pit Fall, Donja had taken me in. He taught me how the setting of wards and which shapes were best for protection. When I'd wake, sweat-drenched and shaking, he'd come and sing. His raspy voice would drift through the room. Songs of magical weavers and dancing bears would carry me softly back to sleep. Sometimes, when he was too tired to think clearly, he'd tell stories of the Make, that power that was stricken from our history.

Donja could have picked anyone else. They didn't have to be orphans. Every four years, a new child was chosen. Children didn't have the power to open the portal or any of the items in the gatehouse. The Doorway simply needed a watcher. Someone to light the fire and warn the village if its cracks were to widen. It wasn't difficult, meals were provided and there were toys to play with, books to read, and movies to watch. The Cloaks, the soldiers that patrolled the gatehouse, would occasionally stop by a window for a chat. Visitors were allowed, provided that they didn't enter and I never left. The village had done everything possible to make the watcher's lives comfortable.

But, I was still lonely. And I couldn't hear Donja sing from under the window where I slept.

“She may be young, but she is not stupid”, I'd heard Donja tell the short Cloak, Martin. “Don't patronize her and don't let the other children dance in front of her windows." His weathered hand rubbed the back of his neck. "It's going to drive her crazy not to be able to come outside so don't let them tease her."

Martin had glanced up to see me peeking through the window. I wanted to hide. If I had to be here for four years then I didn't want the Cloak to see me as a snoop. I didn't. I stared back at him and gave a wave and a smile. Donja's first lesson: Don't let them see you rattled.

He stared for a moment, then chuffed. "If it was going to be so hard on her, why did you fight for her to be a watcher?" He had put his arm around Donja's shoulders and steered him towards the village, and away from my window. "Let's you and I go have a drink."

I liked Martin, he'd leave me pictures with my breakfast. Every morning, since the beginning, there'd be a little doodle tied to my fork. Sometimes a sketch of the gatehouse, sometimes a picture of a cupcake, and once, a drawing of who he said was his friend, picking his nose. I saved them all. I liked to make stories using the pictures. They made me happy and filled my time.

Martin would be mad if he knew what I was about to do. He was a Cloak. I knew what would happen if the Doorway opened, but what about the gatehouse relics? What if he knew I could open some of them? What if he knew...

It was raining on the day I loaned Morgan 400 bucks. He'd come to the window, for the first time in months, and told me that his sister was getting married. Morgan and his sister were orphaned from the first Pit Fall, and he'd been relieved when he wasn't chosen to live in the gatehouse. He needed the money to pay for their move to the next village after the ceremony.

I'd given him the money, with the promise that he'd bring back things that I had needed. I wanted herbs, sand from the lakeshore, a picture of myself, and a stuffed animal, something cute and fluffy. He had to promise not to tell anyone, especially Donja. He started making jokes about the toy until I told him it was just a place to hide my items.

Martin was suspicious, especially once he counted the money. He wanted to know what sort of stuffed animal I thought cost 400 dollars. Once he heard of Morgan's sister though, he let it drop. I was grateful. I didn't want to lie to him more than I had to.

It took Morgan two days to return with what I wanted, what I needed. A stuffed bunny, softer than a cloud, filled with everything I needed to perform a Make.

So, there I was, ready to do something forbidden.


My Recent Freewrites

Images linked to post

Three Grapes
Pelicans in a Pink Car
Rain

Image via pixabay
For the 5 Minute Freewrite Prompt - Weekend Freewrite by @mariannewest.

The #freewrite group is a fantastic community of writers! Click the link to join in!

Thank you for reading!

Sort:  

I imagine those dancing bears to be different colors. Well done @brisby. 🐻

All were the colors of magic in my mind, or the result of strange mushrooms found in the woods. Thank you.

I leave you for some days and you: a) create a coherent world with its rules, rituals, characters, which had nothing to envy to the environment of a fantasy bestseller; b) get a deserved curie vote! At this point @brisby we want to read the book!

Grazie @f3nix! Ha! I'm always up to something when people aren't looking! Your compliment has given my face that lovely cranberry color. 😊 I'm thrilled that you enjoyed my story! Who knew that I'd be inspired by "taste of chicken"? Now I have to figure out more of the rules and get to work writing. (Here's to hoping it won't disappoint..) Receiving a curie vote was a fantastic surprise (not going to lie, I did this dorky dance in my back room... 😅) I'm touched that they felt it was deserving.
I'm happy to hear from you again @f3nix!

Your replies always make me smile Brisby 😁 I remember when I got my curie vote.. It was last October and I was at my second post on steemit. One day I woke up and, checking my article still from inside the bed, I found these lofty 70 $ waiting n shining for me..In place of a dorky dance, I heard as a soundtrack "the ecstasy of gold" by Morricone in my mind ;-P About the taste of chicken prompt, sometimes inspiration and creativity flows in the most unexpected ways .. Thinking about your Chronicles of the Pit, if you will decide to make this fantastic world come to life, remember to safeguard It, perhaps even from steemit (copycats everywhere)

You make me smile as well! Great music to hear in that triumphant moment! (I had to look the piece up and the moment it began I was happy to recognize it!) Are you a fan of only Morricone's music, The Man With No Name, Clint Eastwood as an actor/writer, or westerns in general? If you're in the mood for a laugh, I suggest 2 Mules For Sister Sarah. (Although you've probably seen it.)
Grazie, again, for your help! I've only ever used the postmarked envelope way of "copyrighting" what I send out. I figured that since everything is dated here, that I'd be covered legally. Still, I know plagerism is rampant everywhere and I have not a single good excuse for being naive. To have you concerned on my behalf, even though you're a sweetheart of a crazy 'butterfly' collector who helps practically everyone on this site, still means something lovely to me. Sinceramente grazie!! It isn't said enough.

I'm flattered by your words..I really do nothing special dear friend :-) Morricone's music has wings..I love it as much as many other soundtrack authors like John Williams and James Horner.. I love westerns for their being epic, Clint Eastwood but even actors like Gian Maria Volontè (a fistful of dollars) and the spaghetti westerns (of course!). I love very much Quentin Tarantino's movies.. do you? Thank you for the advice on the movie, I will watch it asap ..now i've a long holiday in an island, meeting my wife again, and plenty of time for watching movies and farting around hahah. I used the postmarked envelope system too, in particular for a project I had called reportingbee.com which never really started. Plagiarism may be subtle, what if just the concept of a novel gets taken without reproducing the exact definitions? Just saying..since you created something noticeable with this and your previous potlach post. I'm not a sweetheart btw, this is just a tactic to gain your trust and show you my collection :-PpP oh..however I am a collector but of minerals :->

I agree with f3nix, this story deserves to be developed further. This can be the incipit of a fantasy novel :)
Congrats for the curie, it's like a Christmas present, ain't it? :D

Grazie @marcoriccardi! I appreciate your compliment! I've only written poetry and short stories so I hope that I can produce something worth reading when I continue this story! Yes, you stated it well, the curie vote was like a Christmas gift! I hope that you have a wonderful day!

If it's worth as it looks in this and previous episode, then Brisby could keep it out from here and maybe write an ebook, or kickstart a project..jmho ;-)

I can only turn so many shades of red, you know! Please throw a few insults my way before Murphy throws all of his laws at my face! 😅
Your opinion is valuable to me, and much appreciated!! Thank you!

Insults, ok you tickled me..uhm..Brisby you're a blasphemous profaner of the beauty and innocence of a white paper, which cannot defend itself from the putrid offence of your shameless pen! :-PpP

Ha!! 😂 (Grazie!!) @f3nix,the white paper isn't as pure as it pretends to be. To portray such innocence the paper underwent processing with numerous chemicals. My pen is simply trying to remind the paper of the virtue in its natural beauty.

Congratulations @brisby! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

Award for the number of comments received

Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here

If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

By upvoting this notification, you can help all Steemit users. Learn how here!

Thank you!

The @OriginalWorks bot has determined this post by @brisby to be original material and upvoted(1.5%) it!

ezgif.com-resize.gif

To call @OriginalWorks, simply reply to any post with @originalworks or !originalworks in your message!

I love and look forward to your stories!! I also LOVE how you seem to be getting more comfortable with each story so that your true writing comes out more and more!! saying all that you DID wonderful with these prompts!!

I too am so tired of the voting thing........I have not had voting power for 2 days now :( 10 votes a day just isn't enough so you are stuck with just my comments :D

Happy Sunday to you!! I hope you get to see the sun where you are at!

Thank you @snook! I really enjoy reading your stories too! You have a sweet and whimsical style, with a smidge of dark ;)!
I should work on increasing my vp (although I'll still probably not have enough ...)
I hope that you and your husband had a great Sunday! No sun here today, it's shy this time of year. :)

WooT! You got a curie vote :D

Wow! I'm touched that they liked it!

I know how you feel! It get's easier when you get to 500. Let's figure out how we can get you there!! I don't know if I already thanked you for sponsoring me into the steembasicincome initiative. I sponsored you as well. Let's see where that goes :)
Hugs

Yay!!! You got a curie vote!!!! so happy for you!!!!

Freewriters rock!!! :)
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-60-5-minute-freewrite-prompt-twins

Thank you, Marianne!!

Beautifully written. I would love to see this story continued. I want to see more.

Thank you for the lovely comment! I want to carry on with this as well! The joy of these freewrites is that you don't control where the story goes.
This is set in the same universe (and timeline) from one of our previous freewriting prompts, the taste of chicken. If you'd like, you can read it here:
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@brisby/potluck-5-minute-freewrite-day-52
I will be continuing the story although, I don't think that I will do it with each day's freewrite. I should come up with a way to title the story so that readers will know which posts are a continuation.
Sorry to ask but, do you have any recommendations?

Use the same tittle and intro photo and underneath say it is a continuation. Or label it as part 2 or 3 of the story.

I appreciate your advice, thank you!

You are welcome.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.17
TRX 0.13
JST 0.027
BTC 61110.07
ETH 2731.78
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.45