Dare your own personal style of education!

The bookshelves are full of educational counselors, the supernanny on TV makes it to us and in kindergarten and school, we also get numerous tips and advice on how to educate a child. With all the pedagogical heights in your head, it's all too easy to get a guilty conscience.

We ourselves and society today have high demands on the education of our children. Loving consequence is the top priority, the role model function anyway and the authoritative parenting style is the ultimate. It is all too easy to forget that the way in which we educate our children must be appropriate for us, our children and the whole environment.

Educational rules scrutinized

You have already read almost all education counselors and searched all relevant websites, because you want to do everything right with your child? Then your head will be buzzing and you will probably wonder how in heaven's life a normal person should implement all these pedagogically valuable tips. Of course, all children must be treated equally and of course you must always be consistent, you must never lose control, always serve as a good example and of course never argue in the presence of your children. These and many other pieces of advice are being whacked over our parents' ears - if we do not stick to it, then our children will be in trouble: they will become maladjusted, antisocial rogues who can not assert themselves in professional life and are unable to enter into an equal and stable partnership.

Once you have gotten this conception, you should put all counselors aside and focus on your feelings again. Because your child is as individual as you are and not every parenting rule can be put on every child like a template. Have the courage to find your own style, to listen to your common sense, and to go your own way with the child, bearing in mind the pedagogical recommendations.

Consequence at any price?

Consequence is important for children, we all know that. They need a clear framework and reliable parents who behave similarly again in similar situations. Unfortunately, consistent parenting behavior can easily degenerate into rigid insistence on once-set rules. But these have to be constantly adjusted and checked - and sometimes, when a child has a birthday, is sick or feels unhappy, just the inconsistent exceptions are what it takes. Conversely, we ourselves have bad days when we simply lack the strength and energy to be consistent. Then it's definitely easier to give in, where else to stay hard or have long discussions. In any case, it lives much easier if there are as few rules as possible, but then enforce them as consistently as possible. In addition, only set up rules that are important to you, which will then be easier and more convincing. If it does not bother you, for example, that your (small) child is blubbering in the apple juice with the straw, then there is no reason to forbid it - you do not have to worry that he is still in his late twenties at the restaurant sets the table, because children also learn differently than through the rules of their parents.

Good parents - good children

Children imitate their parents. Acting as a role model is indeed a big responsibility. Despite educational advocates who repeatedly point to the importance of role models, children go their own way early and choose their own role models. In addition, the temperament also plays a role. If you and your partner are an active and sociable person, but your child is more reserved and introverted, even so many role models will not turn your child into another person. Accept this fact and do not worry too much about yourself being "incorrect". Trust your child to form their own judgment and to choose for themselves which ways they want to go.
There are many rules that once go to the test. Do not set your own bar too high and remain human imperfect, especially and especially in the education of your child.

Did I forget something? Can you think of any more points?
I´m looking forward to your experiences and additions.

Other Dad-Chronicals Stories

When mom get´s sick, nothing is like usual

Over-tired Kids - No love story

Learning to ride a bicycle

Children need light and air

No, I do not want that - handling protest from the child

The happiness of being a child again as a dad - unforgettable experiences you only have while playing with children

What makes strong parents

Family excursion to the fairytale forest - or: Where is Anna?