Live and Let Live Please!!
A few days back I came across a video wherein a maulvi aka shaykh and religious sholar in English was apologizing for a dance video of his that got leaked. That guy was just dancing in that video, doing nothing else and enjoying himself. I don't know whether he leaked it or someone else did, but it did go viral and as it did, people started calling him shameless. I really don't get why this is a big deal maybe because he is a religious scholar and is not supposed to dance. But why? He was just enjoying himself. He wasn't doing anything shameless at all.
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Yeah, if he preaches that one should not dance, but is doing the same himself, that's not right because if he is making things miserable for others, I don't think it is right for him to engage in the same activities. Also, if he does not practice what he preaches, people won't follow him. However, if that is not the case and he is not a rigid person who wishes to know and learn about his religion and enjoy as well, then what's the harm?
After his dance video got leaked, he published another one where he apologized for doing that heinous crime and was remorseful about it. Again, I did not get why he was regretting enjoying himself and dancing. I mean, he wasn't naked. He wasn't even dancing publicly. He was just having a good time with himself. Why is that so wrong?
You can watch the video here.
This does not end here. This public rant on everything that does not conform to the societal norms has suffocated many before him and will do so to many after him. There are many people who get a bashing by the community just for being different or for following their hearts. For instance, I remember my uncle not agreeing to my cousin growing his hair long because it did not look decent. That boy was trying to find himself and wanted to explore himself in the process which is I think is perfectly fine. However, he was stopped by his father because he wanted to be different and see what worked for him. This is just a really small example, but I know it isn't something small for those who go through self-esteem issues.
My own sister went through a lot of such troubles sometime back. She has a very laid back and casual sense of dressing up. She does not like to look formal or too presentable and does not care at all about what others think. If she feels comfortable, she is happy. However, my mother did not get that and honestly, I did not get that at first either. We would often pester her for not being properly dressed up and for not looking nice. We did not realize, but it was sabotaging her self-esteem and she started nurturing many unhealthy beliefs just because of that. I became more aware of this when I became a mother myself and realized my son had the same need. He wanted to feel comfortable and proper shoes and boots never make him feel comfortable like crocs do so be it winters or summers, he wears crocs and only on rare occasions, I am able to convince him to wear shoes with formal pants and a shirt.
I realized that it is important for a child to make their own decisions and to let him/ her grow on his/ her own so he understand himself/ herself better and feels confident in the process. Sadly, we have a bad habit of not letting the others live. Maybe, it is because we faced some pressures too which is why we are mean to others or maybe the society has turned us into people who just cannot see anyone be genuinely happy for long. I just wish this does change for the better and I am trying my best to let people live by not commenting negatively on anything I find different to what I do or believe in. If I don't have something nice to say, I try not to say anything mean either. I wish more people start doing that too.
What do you think of the topic? Have you ever had any experiences where you felt forced to behave a certain way? Do share your views in the comments below.
Love and light,
Sharoon.
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I am a part of the wonderful @ecotrain which is full of inspirational people and content.
My opinion is people should be allowed to do what suit them without criticizm except for such bad stuff. @sharoonyasir
Couldn't agree more!
Excellent read.
I agree with you completely. People don't understand that they got to live their own life and let others live theirs. This is the foundation of judging, stereotyping, bullying and whatnot. How difficult is it to decide that we can simply ignore something we don't like about others which is not hurting anybody else or us? It is so BASIC!
I loved how you quoted the example of your younger sister. Mine is ditto! she likes to stay simple too. She chooses dull colors whenever she goes for shopping with my mother and she always says things like 'how could you not choose bright colors at this age? Why such colors?', not knowing that it could hurt her inside or make her feel she isn't 'normal'. I mean obviously they have their own understanding level between them but I still sometimes feel that it is her own choice. It is her own life. She should have the liberty to choose whatever she likes for her. We all do!
Jiyo, Sharoon!
Naveedaaaa, yar you made me so happy. Seeing your face on my blog just lights me up tou atey raha karo. And yes, often we say things that hurts the self-esteem of others and we don't even realize how our words can harm them. I am happy your sister is comfortable in her skin and that she has a loving brother like you.
Does it? :D Woohoo!
I am trying to be regular yaar, I don't really know what keeps me from opening up here and reading things I love. I always love your articles, I mean it. But yes, you're right, I should come to your profile regularly and take my daily doze. More power to you, Sharoonay! Youzeebesst!
Hahaha nae zaruri nae k roz aao. Come whenever you want to, but at least be regular on Steemit and write more. Your photographed pieces are gorgeous; use them as writing prompts. Oh I got an idea. How about we collaborate and create a piece together. I could use one of your photographs as a prompt for a story or essay and then this way both of us would be publicizing the other too. What say?
Woahhhh! That sounds so goooood. Lets whatsapp about this idea furtherrrr. I love itttt. Mein aaj bohat excited hun, I told Saba too. And I don't know the reason hahaha.. Maybe because I read your blog in the morning? :D :D :D
Hahaha cayootness hain ap
There is nothing wrong with dancing in Islam. Like you said, as long it is not harmful then there is nothing to worry about. Even if some tarikat and sufism there is a dance. Like in this video below.
Thank you for sharing this. :)
Such a great post,I had never heard of this controversy-or viral video
I do think a lot are forced to some degree or another to do certain things because of some sort of peer pressure,
I am at an age now where I listen tot he thoughts of others and give them due consideration but I am now able to review what is the best decision for me and those around me and that is the basis for my decision
I think if more people could consider this as you have and then try to raise there children giving them the confidence to have trust in their own decision process and be able to better resist peer pressure it is great for the child and great for society
Thank you Jay :) This video isn't too old so maybe that's why you didn't hear of it. I wish people could be more open and respectful of the feelings of others. It would really make life easier.
Respect is such a simple thing but sadly one thing there is not enough if these days
Oh yeah that's such a dilemma.
In the work that I do, this refers to the ideas of toxic vs. authentic shame. We so often come to feel bad about ourselves for the ideas of other people and outside expectations. But if we can learn to listen to our own true shame, it can help us be respectful while being true to ourselves.
Also, I don't think anyone should be shamed for dancing, ever. :D
Yes nobody should be shamed for dancing. I completely agree with that. It is so much fun and so special. Oh thank you for giving this a term. It makes a lot of sense. I wish we do start being more aware of what actually shames and our own genuine feelings. It really gives us a better insight into our own self.