Road to Steemfest | Funding my trip

in steemfest •  14 days ago

I figured I wouldn't do the same thing as last week and leave my RTS post for the last minute, and so the posts are very...close together. Oh well.
This post makes me a little uncomfortable. I have spoken before about my financial troubles with Steemfest, how the tickets were pricier than I expected and so on. And I've also spoken about my trouble in asking for help. I don't like asking for help, especially for money-help. Maybe it's because we're brought up in such a money-sensitive culture, you know?
It never seems okay to say 'I can't pay for this', because then you attract the question 'well, are you poor or something?'. And no one wants that. We'd rather pay for things we can't afford rather than bring that judgement upon ourselves. And it strikes me because it's a knowledge that has been with me from a rather young age. I was never brought up in a particularly money-counting family and if I look around, it's not just me. Money has always been a sensitive subject for everyone I know. And maybe it shouldn't be.
We find it hard to say 'I can't afford that', but it's very dumb if you think about it. It's a very dividing thing and it seems to me that if we allow money to come between us in such a way from this young age, well, we're pretty much screwed.
God, even writing this makes me uncomfortable, what is it about money, huh?
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Calculating funds for Steemfest got me like...
Anyway, as I was saying, I have had some trouble with covering the Steemfest ticket itself (although I'm still hopeful aboout a couple of contests on here), but through the generous help of people like @anomadsoul and @tarazkp, as well as others who have supported me for a long time now, I'm beginning to think it possible, that I will indeed be going to Steemfest. So, I'm funding my Steemfest journey through Steemit, from my earnings here.
I'm also much more careful about money. Lately, every purchase that goes through my head, I convert it to euros. I'm like well yeah, but that's 10 euros, that's a bit of money that could go to my Steemfest fund. It's a good way to setting priorities and avoiding a lot of useless spending.
It's something that has been on my mind a lot lately since I really want to go. Usually, whenever you talk to me, I'll probably mention something about Poland, it's become like an on-going saga to the point where I'm like 'well, I kinda have to go now, I've talked so much about it, you know?'.

So, I've become more sure of the fact that I am going. Even if it puts a dent in my internal economy as it were. But hey, it's putting a dent in everyone's economy, so who am I to complain? There are people out there forking out a lot more money for this trip. Granted that they're older and probably have more funds coming in, but they also have more expenses to cover, you know, day-to-day.
You know, I was talking to my best friend, who's in her second year at Med school now, and earlier this year, she went to a medical conference for doctors all the way to Cluj, which is quite far from Bucharest. And obviously, it wasn't cheap either, but it can't be, can it? After all, you're investing in something, in your future - whether it's your future as a doctor or your future on Steemit, it's still an investment that won't give you any guarantees, but one that might or might not be worthwhile, depending on your inner voice, you know? If your inner voice is saying 'do that, go there', then maybe it knows something you don't and you should do what it says. If it doesn't say anything or is mumbling in the corner about how it's a lot of money and probably useless, well, then maybe it has a point too.
You should always listen to the voice in your head, because it knows you, maybe better than you know yourself. I know that sounds weird, but it makes sense. If your inner self tells you not to go, then maybe it's because you know deep down you don't really have a future there.
Now, I'm not saying that if it does tell you 'go', it means you'll have a future in that domain. No, you don't get a guarantee. But you might have a future and that might is a good enough argument.

I hear that voice inside my head, telling me to go and I've written a lot about why. This community has done a lot for me in the past year and it has taught me many things, as well as given me friends. Surprising. I've found more help and understanding here, when my bets would've been on people I knew in real life, people I never expected to drop me and yet they did. So yeah, that might is good enough for me. That's why I want to go to Steemfest. Because of the voice in my head, because of the might.
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I know I've kinda gone off track here, or at least it seems I have. But I think it's just as important to write about why I'm funding this trip, rather than just how, you know? That what matters, I think, because sure, you could do a two-sentence post like 'I'm selling my dog' or 'I'm working as a babysitter' or whatever, you know, the "realities" of funding this trip. But those realities are utterly meaningless if you don't also explain why, what's pushing you to make those sacrifices, what your motivation is.

SO I guess that's it for me. Also, since Eric requested we include our previous Road to Steemfest posts in this one, here they go:

The Road to SteemFest 3: Coming out of the hiding spot

A thousand, thousand choices (Road to Steemfest3)

Some glitches in the road to Steemfest | 3 Fun Facts about Me

Road to Steemfest | My expectations for Steemfest3

A huge shoutout to @anomadsoul for running this awesome series and also, to @rubencress for creating the amazing banner above! Check him out!

Thank you for reading,

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I just transferred you 3 SBD. Not much I guess...But something.

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Dude, does kindness run in the family or something? :O I mean, don't get me wrong, I am super grateful. That's just such a nice gesture...I don't know what to say...
You didn't have to, but thank you! You're really a very nice guy <3 And the gesture itself is just so shockingly sweet (shocking because you never expect someone to be randomly nice to you like that. At least, I don't...). Thank you, Galen <3

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You're welcome @honeydue. I can't be at Steemfest and I figured that you really want to be there so I helped out a little. It's not much of course but my outlay has been repaid already just with your reply above.

Giving without expectation is privilege all humans can enjoy, but few do.

You're welcome, it's my pleasure.

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You helped out more than a little - I told you, the gesture itself is amazing, I think. One of the reasons I want to go to Steemfest to begin with, because of awesome people like you (although I am pretty bummed you can't come, it would've been awesome! ) :D

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I'm looking forward to reading your account of Steemfest.

It never seems okay to say 'I can't pay for this', because then you attract the question 'well, are you poor or something?'. And no one wants that. We'd rather pay for things we can't afford rather than bring that judgement upon ourselves.

I come from a poor background and have still had this attitude all my life. It is strange and a societal thing I think. I'm in a place of relative poverty now and yet it still erks me to ask for money, or even accept help from relatives etc.

I hear that voice inside my head, telling me to go and I've written a lot about why. This community has done a lot for me in the past year and it has taught me many things, as well as given me friends. Surprising. I've found more help and understanding here, when my bets would've been on people I knew in real life

What you said here resonated with me big time. I've experienced big love and support here when friends out in the 'real' world were pretty unhelpful and dismissive of my efforts to find a path as a freelance writer.

After all, you're investing in something, in your future - whether it's your future as a doctor or your future on Steemit, it's still an investment that won't give you any guarantees, but one that might or might not be worthwhile, depending on your inner voice, you know?

And again echoing my thoughts, which I actually wrote about in a RTSF post a few weeks ago, about how my choices have effected my life.

Great reading more about your journey to SF3 @honeydue

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friends out in the 'real' world were pretty unhelpful and dismissive of my efforts to find a path as a freelance writer.

I hear ya. My own so called friends have been terribly unsupportive and hateful about my attempts at starting my writing career which really made me value the Steemit community a lot more. I'm glad you found yourself in my words and I hope to maybe meet you at Steemfest!

remember to keep in touch and as we draw closer, let me know how things are going for you in chat :)

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I sure will, @tarazkp! Thank you <3

Go. They need you there superstar. You are one of the only huge genuine success stories on this platform, and one of a very tiny few with genuine talent. They ought to be paying YOU to be there.
Enjoy, have fun and stop stressing :-)

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Oww I just had a look in my wallet, how very nice of you. really, it's astonishing to see that someone would do nice things for you randomly.
Thank you so much, Nathen! <3
Again, you're too kind with your compliments, but I do appreciate them and the help!

You're right, I should just stop stressing and go with it :D

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Nice people deserve nice things happen to them. End of subject.
Keep writing :-)

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Thank you.
You're really nice :)

Hey @honeydue, I really hope you make it to Steemfest. The same goes for me too, lol. For reals though, I'm sure I'll make it, it's just the what I'm about to do after that I'm worrying, but like you put it, getting there is partly investing in one's future, I think it's better not to worry what's going to come out of life - things always go a different route than anticipated anyway, so why bother?

I would've hoped you'd win the ticket from the writing contest (your story was a good one) but I'm on the same contest too, lol. Already had the thought of maybe giving you some Steem in the case of me winning the contest, but better not get ahead of myself since my story creation hasn't been very successful because of my bicycle adventure, and now I'm just trying to make even just a coherent story up, haha.

You got a 40.28% upvote from @ocdb courtesy of @honeydue!