Embracing Change in the Course of a Relationship
Relationships inevitably evolve over time, as individuals are constantly changing and progressing
I've been with my current partner for over 8 years now. In that time, our relationship has changed dramatically, as we as individuals have also changed immensely.
The idea that a relationship can remain static forever is a delusion that eventually makes itself known to both parties. This often rude awakening can result in many relationships terminating, as one or both parties come to terms with the fact that their relationship is no longer fulfilling their basic needs.
Of course, this fact of life should be embraced instead of feared. The initial flurry of emotion and love that you experience is not how the majority of your relationship will be. In fact, this period of infatuation referred to as the honeymoon period often distorts our perspective on what love means and can sabotage our ability to experience it once the butterflies subside.
Love is a difficult, ongoing process
Many people jump from relationship to relationship once things get difficult. As soon as the initial buzz wears off, that is when the actual work begins. Relationships force us to face all of the unresolved aspects of ourselves that are much easier to ignore when we are single.
A relationship gets ugly when both parties come face to face with their unresolved baggage. This usually goes one of two ways.
The first option involves both parties addressing these issues in a healthy and productive manner. This resolution typically removes the desire to be 'right' as much as possible, allowing space for each party to state their feelings and come to an amenable agreement that brings participants closer together.
The second option involves a heavy emphasis on being right, which devolves into blaming and shaming over each other's feelings. While the relationship may not end right away, it is headed down a road that will lead to further conflict that may escalate into more violent scenarios prior to the relationship ending.
Decreasing your reactionary tendency to be right helps immensely
Our egos are very good at having us believe we are right all of the time. Though a person may admit that this idea is preposterous and that they are wrong some of the time, in the moment it can be incredibly difficult to own up to.
In a romantic relationship, this is especially true because our emotions run at such intense levels. Our partner's words can incite an intense reaction from us more than anyone else in our lives precisely because we care so deeply about them. Criticism from our significant other can cause us to reveal deep, dark parts of ourselves that we may be unaware of.
Because we value this relationship more than any other, our vulnerability is especially high and it can be easy to forget that we are the ones responsible for our emotions and that no one makes us feel anything. As a result, it is important to stay grounded, to acknowledge our faults and failings, and to be willing to apologize and let things go even if our mind is telling us otherwise.
Embrace the inevitable progression of your relationship
If you are both committed to improving yourself, you will not be the same person over time and neither will your partner. Life is a constant process of evolving and discovering ourselves. To want to remain in a static state is detrimental to our progression as human beings, and this will reflect in our relationships over time as things start to feel stale.
In our 8 years together, my partner and I have grown immensely as individuals, which has only strengthened our bond. I want to see her grow and change and I am not afraid of her outgrowing me as a result.
The foundation of any healthy relationship lies in the strength of the individual person. This foundation is enhanced by allowing ourselves to grow and change as human beings and being flexible when the other party does the same.
The only constant in our world is change, and relationships are no different in this regard. Embracing this change will make the process of loving and supporting our partner a much smoother process
All uncredited pictures from pixabay.com or my personal account
If you received value from this post, I would gratefully appreciate your upvote
My Latest Posts
- I've Decided to Discontinue Utilizing Vote Buying Services
- Steemit Should be Focusing on Making the Platform More Accessible Instead of Launching SMT's
- Don’t Look to an Outside Force to Save You
- Utilizing Steem Voter: A Great Way to Consistently Support Authors and Earn Steem Power
- Stop Idolizing Others
It's important to differentiate between infatuation and love, as you pointed out.
The feeling of infatuation is a subconscious projection of our full image of an ideal partner on a person who gives us the impression that he/she has some of the ideal characteristics. Thus, it is an illusion that infatuation is our relationship towards another person; infatuation is really a relationship between our own ego and our image of an ideal partner.
On the other hand, love is not just a feeling, it is a relationship of closeness based on repeating feelings towards a real, unique, complete person. Telling someone "I love you" is like saying "you are a wonderful, precious human being to me". Therefore, if we feel loved, we feel that someone recognizes and confirms our value as a complete being.
If we are not happy with "just" being loved and idealistically expect infatuation for the rest of our life, we will have a serious problem maintaining long-term relationships.
@colinhoward Now this is the kind of content that should be trending! Absolutely agree with all the points you have mentioned. Just like all good things in life that require effort, relationships also need effort.
You don't just meet you soulmate one day and live happily ever after. LOL.
About the ego coming in the way, that's just so true, if a relationship has to work, you have to part with your relationship with your false self.
Ego knows no love.
Cheers,
agreed. should be trending!! great comment.
so much truth in this post. it's especially pertinent after an event that happened last night in my life (not with my partner, but with a close friend). i think this applies even to our "extended family"... everything you say here is gold and needs to be written on billboards instead of the crazed honeymoon only images! resteemed!!
Relationship can survive if both the partners are willing to compromise from time to time and adjust. If you r not willing to change or compromise, they can fall apart easily.
falling in love really dazzles us and leads us to idealization while love is built with the development of both personalities separately while they are accompanied, there when they accept the errors of both is where the affection really starts
This post has been selected for curation by @msp-curation by @clayboyn and has been upvoted and will be featured in the weekly philosophy curation post. It will also be considered for the official @minnowsupport curation post and if selected will be resteemed from the main account. Feel free to join us on Discord!
You have been upvoted by the @sndbox-alpha! Our curation team is currently formed by @anomadsoul, @GuyFawkes4-20, @martibis and @fingersik. We are seeking posts of the highest quality and we deem your endeavour as one of them. If you want to get to know more, feel free to check our blog.
This is a courtesy of @GuyFawkes4-20
Thank you for sharing your successes and great tips BTW!!!