The Golden Rule - Day 15
Inspired by the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5-7.
Do unto me as I do unto you
No wisdom here it is just what we do
Do unto you as you do unto me
No insight here it is just what we see
Bread upon waters comes back to the shore
It’s Karma at work that’s all nothing more
No foresight here, nor a matter of smarts
Cause evil returns right back where it starts
But what if we change it and color it gold
And make a new rule that is drastic and bold
Do unto you what I wish you would do
Do unto me what you wish I would do
No evil for evil, no swords in our hands
No killing our brothers, no fighting for lands
No violence or force on this world where we live
We’ll find our forgiveness when at last we forgive
Much thanks to @d-pend for creating this 100 days of poetry challenge. If you would like to support this creative venture be sure to check out the latest Update.
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Previous posts for this challenge
Day 1: The Pendulum
Day 2: Half In - Half Out
Day 3: Names Will Always Hurt Me
Day 4: Turning
Day 5: No Longer
Day 6: Equilibrium
Day 7: Entangled
Day 8: Shattered
Day 12:Beat Ball
Image Credits
Photo by Peter Forster on Unsplash
Photo by Nathan Lemon on Unsplash
From a great reflection, you made poetry, @firststeps. There is a feeling of justified demand, a proposal of just justice, a "drastic and bold" ... "golden rule". Good job.
I really enjoyed the spiritual message of this poem. One thing I would suggest would be to go back through it and see if there are places where you might need to add a comma because you leave the, out at times in the middle of a line where it seems like it would be appropriate, and later use it at times which makes the earlier leaving out a little awkward.
No wisdom here it is just what we do
Here's an example of a sentence that might be better served with a comma.
I could be wrong about this entirely, but I thought I'd bring it up so you could look at it yourself critically.
I see what you mean. I tend to overuse commas though, so I try to undercompensate sometimes.
I like the wordings of this poem - the golden rule.
Nice post @firststeps