Is Life Really Better When We Are Happy-Go-Lucky, Don't Worry and Be Happy?
Happiness and luck are associated back in the etymology. Many European languages originally used the word "happy" to refer to "luck". Think about it. When good fortune befalls us -- when luck goes our way, when we are in a well-off situation -- we are happy. When misfortune happens and things don't go our way, then we tend to be affected by this environmental situation, and we are no longer happy.
Source: piaxbay
Happiness is generally a by-product of doing other things, although like any emotional state, it can be consciously and willfully induced. Look at many "gurus" and alleged "spiritual" people, and some of them walk around with a permanent smile. Why? Because they have created a state of mind conducive to such a result, through various psychological means, such as positive thinking, affirmations, EFT and other methods of inducing psychological and emotional states of "well-being".
Our well-being, being well-off, doing well, is to have things go our way and essentially be in "luck" as opposed to the opposite of things not going our way and having "bad luck". Happiness arises from being well, such as to be in a situation where we things going well, "life is good", etc. Things happen, and we are affected by them. We move through life and feel what is happening as signals for us to pay attention to. Some things are "good", others "bad", and some are neutral which is generally good by default of not being bad.
There is the phrase "happy endings" when a story ends well, when the characters are well-off, as luck has gone their way in the novel and they end up winning. And "thet lived happily ever adter, the end." While some stories go this way, others don't end well with a "happy ending".
Happiness is the by-product of things we do, and the situations we find ourselves in that affect our emotional state of being. Happiness is not a means in itself, nor is it an end to strive for, unlike the phrase "happy endings" would have you believe in some romantic infatuation with an idea.
Chasing happy endings means the goal is to do things that make you happy. Somethings need to be done that we don't know will make us happy or not. And somethings need to be done that are painful. The psychological pain of having to confront a hard truth, or face ourselves in the mirror, or many other things, might not put us in an immediate state of well-being or happiness, but instead cause us pain and make us feel bad. But these are things that help us grow and align with reality, truth, as opposed to living in a deluded fantasy that feel-good or makes us happy.
We all want happy endings, to be well-off, to have luck on our side, to win, etc., but is this really an honest life goal? Is that really the goal, objective, ends and purpose to our lives? To simply be in a permanent state of bliss like the alleged goal some "spiritual" people have adopted for themselves?
What about simply being in a neutral state, and then being affected by our environment and situations that are presenting us with stimulus in order to have our emotions and moods affected? Some things hurt, but for a good reason. We shouldn't turn away from truth that brings us down or shatters our false perceptions or conceptions. We need to recognize that pain, although undesired, is sometimes necessary for us to feel something wrong in ourselves or the world, and then be able to do something about it.
Just because someone isn't in a constant happy state, doesn't mean something is wrong with them. We aren't supposed to be permanently in a one-sided positive emotional state all the time. Neutral emotional states of being exist and are the standard point between the rhythms and flows of experiencing positive and negative emotional states.
Thinking that negative emotional states are always bad, or that the negative in life shouldn't be looked at, only keeps us from feeling things that might help us learn. Our emotions can help us feel what's wrong, in ourselves or in the world. Looking at the negatives in the world helps us to see what's really going on.
If we only focus on being happy or being positive and deny the potential of the negative to teach us, then we block out a range of experience that helps us detect things within and without. We can't just ignore, dismiss or deny the negatives in the world or in ourselves and hope to change things for the better.
"Don't worry, be happy" might be a catchy phrase to make us move on and get over things, but it can also be a trap to willfully ignore the shit that's going on and not be able to do anything about it. The happy-go-lucky attitude of being "cheerfully unconcerned about the future" we are truly creating when we ignore the problems around us will not actually lead to a better life in the long-term. Even if we all escape the consequences of our ignorance in our own shorter-term lives, the long-term future of our society, the next-generations and humanity will still be negatively affected because we're not dealing with the negatives in our present, in the now.
Thank you for your time and attention. Peace.
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The insistence on being happy has been the largest impediment I have found to having meaningful discussions regarding important subjects with others, especially in the romantic relationships throughout my life. The catch phrase often used is "I don't worry about it because I am only a man/woman"
We see this with the public justifications for expanding programs and kicking the bill down the road, we see it in the wars both domestic and abroad. Dysfunction as a society now that we find ourselves unable to discuss the most basic of ideas without it turning into violence to turn back unhappy truths.
Yup. Don't bring me down man! You're such a downer! You're so negative! LOL.
People seem to want to remain helpless, not learning how to empower themselves and understand how to break the chains.
To me those things that do not make me happy are also those things that I can make a change on. Thus such is an opportunity to create happiness in our lives, but we have first to become aware, and change ourselves and how we act to get different results. Ignoring the problems sure isn't going to work, for if it was there should be no problems in the world.
This is in line with the speech of Jordan Peterson, we have to take responsibility for the disaster that surrounds us, and this is my main problem with those "positivist" practices in which everything consists of living well and being happy, really, happiness is not it's a goal for me, there are too many problems in society for happiness to be my goal, even when you do well at work, when you earn a lot of money, or when you buy a big house and a good car, but if you look around and what you find is misery, corruption, human trafficking, perversion and vices, then, you can not be happy unless you forget the rest of the people, and it is something I can not do, I feel the responsibility to help solve the problem, within my capabilities.
You have to be optimistic, and think positively, but never detach from reality.
Indeed, we're all in this together. If we just focus on our little bubble of reality and avoid trying to understand the larger reality we live in, then nothing changes beyond our little bubble that we try to focus on for our own personal happiness.
Happiness comes from an external event or happening that triggers that emotion. And often is short-lived and temporary. Yes we do need both the rain and the Sunshine to grow. If an oboe player is constantly told me they are good at their instrument and not critiqued for improvement how can I grow? In the same breath if humans were to be constantly happy there would be no room for growth or human development. Thanks for a good article. That has potential for growth through constructive criticism. @krnel
Yes, valid criticism helps us evolve and move forward to progress in whatever we are doing. Often, our enemies will let us know what we're failing at, but our friends won't for fear of us feeling judged and not like them anymore. Everyone walks on eggshells to try to keep people "happy" and it's all fake.
Yes this is a great read, ‘don’t worry be happy’ is a really nice thought to live by. What some people think will make them happy, most likely will not. It may help temporarily, but eventually they will want more and more.
It’s strange how some of the most ‘successful’ people, who are top musicians, or wealthy business owners can also be very unhappy.
Setting the mind free, having acceptance, understanding truth, and being at peace with the now is really the way forward for me. It’s a great feeling to be happy with what we have, and just to be, then everything else we work towards is a bonus :)
Yeah, rich musicians on big pharma drugs, some die. Some kill themselves. Fame and money doesn't bring happiness in some cases :/
It's kind of true that one cannpt really be happy with all the other things that surround us. The world has really turned into something else and a moment of happiness easily changes when you switch on your TV. What we see happening around us prevents us from really experiencing long term happiness. Many people have made up their minds to be happy no matter what happens. Even if it is delusional and not realistic to others, they've chosen this way of life and it is working for them.
There is actually mental, emotional and physical things that can be done to create happiness. Sitting down and forcing yourself to produce the chemicals that make you feel good isn't real happiness. I usually agree with your posts and this one is no exception.
I will be writing a post about education, which in my mind is one mental thing that is required for people to produce happiness in their lives. I sure hope it is one that you get too read. I think you will agree. LOL
Yes, educate to learn and understand brings joy, as opposed to blissful ignorance ;)
In Russian "happiness" and "luck" have different roots.
BY the way, it's interesting to know that if we look at the etimology of the word "happiness" in our language, it appears it has roots in the word "NOW"
happiness is CЧАcтьЕ,
now - CEйЧАС
it means much and makes us think about what it means to be happy.
Just catch the moment NOW and feel it, find smth great in it (in every monent there is smth great!), and enjoy
life is NOW, happiness is NOW as well.
it's wise, how do you think?
Now can keep you stuck in just the moment, and can blind or ignore the future that we are always heading towards. That's why "happy-go-lucky" = cheerfully unconcerned about the future. THe focus is now, and not where we are walking. If we want to know where we are going in life, we have to look to the future, look ahead, to see the path we are on.
Don't ignore the future, just live life NOW, not tomorrow.
You can't know for sure where your current steps will lead you to, any new decision can change yout life and turn it upside down.
All forecasts for future are fakes because life has endless number of possible variants and roads, and every day you can change and choose another way dependion on your decisions, thoughts and attitude to yourself and your future.
Don't you think future can be different?
Being in a continuous state of happiness that is always smiling is not possible except the person is on drugs even that wears off sooner or later.It would be weird to be see a person smiling when he receives a sad news.To sum it up we are a product of our surroundings .
Yup, emotions aren't meant to be always on either side of the spectrum.
"Happiness is the successful state of life, pain is an agent of death. Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values. A morality that dares to tell you to find happiness in the renunciation of your happiness — to value the failure of your values — is an insolent negation of morality. A doctrine that gives you, as an ideal, the role of a sacrificial animal seeking slaughter on the altars of others, is giving you death as your standard. By the grace of reality and the nature of life, man — every man — is an end in himself, he exists for his own sake, and the achievement of his own happiness is his highest moral purpose.
But neither life nor happiness can be achieved by the pursuit of irrational whims. Just as man is free to attempt to survive in any random manner, but will perish unless he lives as his nature requires, so he is free to seek his happiness in any mindless fraud, but the torture of frustration is all he will find, unless he seeks the happiness proper to man. The purpose of morality is to teach you, not to suffer and die, but to enjoy yourself and live."
Ayn Rand, For the New Intellectual, 123
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